T
Tiredoffailing
New Member
- May 22, 2019
- 4
So the real tragedy in my life happened more than 6 years ago now. Accused of a horrible crime I did not commit. Really shook my life, cost me my new job, and college was all downhill from then on. The real issues came even after charges were dropped as a huge number of ppl believed me a guilty guy who got away with it. Even many close family members. My reputation was destroyed.
I tried moving a few cities away and starting over but even if crippling depression had not led to job loss I already had co-workers telling me about meeting former friends from my hometown so it was only a matter of time before I would have been forced to leave.
I ran out of money and having the option of going back as an adult to live with a parent who doubted my innocense in a town that had villified me or running away, I chose to run.
Spent my last $40 on a greyhound out west to California where I would be homeless for four years. Three of those years I spent hiding away smoking weed and watching pirated movies with an old man who I met living In a spot of wilderness in the middle of a city. I was to comfortable there and the old man was a hardcore workout guy and violently delt with any dangerous homeless people that happened into our area. He had severe PTSD regarding fire and one day when I did not smell the imaginary smoke and suggested calling the fire Dept to our illegal camp was too drastic without any sure indication of a fire he violently attacked me "for not respecting fire"
I was then forced to live on the actual streets where danger was more common and thieves rampant. It was awful. Every minute of everyday in some place I was unwanted. The violence that befell friends in their sleep made it near impossible for me not to spend nights in constant fear.
Finally got a decent job this past October. It was enough to get inside of a shitty motel that didn't do credit checks and not have to fear for my safety at night.
Well been getting fucked over from warly on, time fraud, forced to work through breaks, never receiving my dollar an hour raise when promoted. But my dumbass didn't keep records or proof. Assumed the company would fix everything rather than risk a lawsuit, but after speaking with dozens of attorneys I I realiE how wrong I was. I can't prove any of it because I didn't keep records. Might be able to prove my promotion but no lawyer will do a contingency based lawsuit for such a small claim, and I sure cannot afford to pay one at normal rates .
Earlier today I found out my manger had moved me down to 3 days a week only, just enough to block unemployment but not enough to pay rent, much less eat. My rent is paid weekly and due on Friday. I was already out 4 days due to wisdom tooth removal so my paychek will be incredibly small, but now knowing I have no hope of staying indoors it seems like a stupid move to put that whole check into one more weeks rent on Friday. I'll still be homeless but without even food money. I am going to go be homeless in less than 24 hours without warning. No notices or write-ups. I along with the rest of the team have been failing to hit my quota for weeks, but he is doing this to me and one other employee at the same time and has told other employee it's to get us to quit.
I would have been fine getting canned for failing to meet quota, had a whole plan for how to handle it, I don't have anything planned for this. I don't have away to prevent the company iPad I'm financially responsible for from getting stolen on the streets. He is so cowardly he even had the whole team skip meeting at the office tommorow (we split up to different locations around town after the office) in order to avoid me coming in expecting to work. He knows none of us ever check the schedule since we work the same days every week, but the other guy this is happening to gave me a heads up.
I am so upset. I am going to have to take my cats to a shelter tommorow, just give up the first present I have gotten in years ($1K+ TV coworker gave me during Xmas) and I don't have enough time to clean this apartment up enough to avoid losing my deposit
I have never hated anyone this much in my life, not even the person whose lies set my course in life on a downward spiral in the first place. The worst part is I cannot even do anything legally, as I have already tried that route secretly for the past month (nothing was filed manager shouldn't be aware of this to my knowledge).
What can I do outside to kill myself immediatly I would rather even the most painful death to going back on the streets living in constant fear for even a day. No time to ship anything. Don't think I'll have enough $$$ for a gun, but even if I did I see it going poorly the first time a cop searches me for being homeless.
I hate letting a heartless "Christian" shady manager like I have win but it seems legally he already has.
What would you guys do in my shoes? I am in San Diego, but I speak no Spanish and will be lucky to have $400, not enough at all for Mexican veterinary drugs, I do have access to the ocean but my deepest fear is sharks, doubt I could power through a suicide out there.
What I do have though are 20mg Xarelto, a lot of them. They are very strong blood thinners that can cause internal bleeding .. should I?
I tried moving a few cities away and starting over but even if crippling depression had not led to job loss I already had co-workers telling me about meeting former friends from my hometown so it was only a matter of time before I would have been forced to leave.
I ran out of money and having the option of going back as an adult to live with a parent who doubted my innocense in a town that had villified me or running away, I chose to run.
Spent my last $40 on a greyhound out west to California where I would be homeless for four years. Three of those years I spent hiding away smoking weed and watching pirated movies with an old man who I met living In a spot of wilderness in the middle of a city. I was to comfortable there and the old man was a hardcore workout guy and violently delt with any dangerous homeless people that happened into our area. He had severe PTSD regarding fire and one day when I did not smell the imaginary smoke and suggested calling the fire Dept to our illegal camp was too drastic without any sure indication of a fire he violently attacked me "for not respecting fire"
I was then forced to live on the actual streets where danger was more common and thieves rampant. It was awful. Every minute of everyday in some place I was unwanted. The violence that befell friends in their sleep made it near impossible for me not to spend nights in constant fear.
Finally got a decent job this past October. It was enough to get inside of a shitty motel that didn't do credit checks and not have to fear for my safety at night.
Well been getting fucked over from warly on, time fraud, forced to work through breaks, never receiving my dollar an hour raise when promoted. But my dumbass didn't keep records or proof. Assumed the company would fix everything rather than risk a lawsuit, but after speaking with dozens of attorneys I I realiE how wrong I was. I can't prove any of it because I didn't keep records. Might be able to prove my promotion but no lawyer will do a contingency based lawsuit for such a small claim, and I sure cannot afford to pay one at normal rates .
Earlier today I found out my manger had moved me down to 3 days a week only, just enough to block unemployment but not enough to pay rent, much less eat. My rent is paid weekly and due on Friday. I was already out 4 days due to wisdom tooth removal so my paychek will be incredibly small, but now knowing I have no hope of staying indoors it seems like a stupid move to put that whole check into one more weeks rent on Friday. I'll still be homeless but without even food money. I am going to go be homeless in less than 24 hours without warning. No notices or write-ups. I along with the rest of the team have been failing to hit my quota for weeks, but he is doing this to me and one other employee at the same time and has told other employee it's to get us to quit.
I would have been fine getting canned for failing to meet quota, had a whole plan for how to handle it, I don't have anything planned for this. I don't have away to prevent the company iPad I'm financially responsible for from getting stolen on the streets. He is so cowardly he even had the whole team skip meeting at the office tommorow (we split up to different locations around town after the office) in order to avoid me coming in expecting to work. He knows none of us ever check the schedule since we work the same days every week, but the other guy this is happening to gave me a heads up.
I am so upset. I am going to have to take my cats to a shelter tommorow, just give up the first present I have gotten in years ($1K+ TV coworker gave me during Xmas) and I don't have enough time to clean this apartment up enough to avoid losing my deposit
I have never hated anyone this much in my life, not even the person whose lies set my course in life on a downward spiral in the first place. The worst part is I cannot even do anything legally, as I have already tried that route secretly for the past month (nothing was filed manager shouldn't be aware of this to my knowledge).
What can I do outside to kill myself immediatly I would rather even the most painful death to going back on the streets living in constant fear for even a day. No time to ship anything. Don't think I'll have enough $$$ for a gun, but even if I did I see it going poorly the first time a cop searches me for being homeless.
I hate letting a heartless "Christian" shady manager like I have win but it seems legally he already has.
What would you guys do in my shoes? I am in San Diego, but I speak no Spanish and will be lucky to have $400, not enough at all for Mexican veterinary drugs, I do have access to the ocean but my deepest fear is sharks, doubt I could power through a suicide out there.
What I do have though are 20mg Xarelto, a lot of them. They are very strong blood thinners that can cause internal bleeding .. should I?