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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,804
my suicide soon and because i don't want to suffer extremely and a book of reasons on top of that . plus i would never want to exist under any circumstances even in what they say is an average "good" life or even exist in what they say is one of the "best" lives.

why do i have to live another minute? why do i have to want to live another minute? i don't . and no one can convince me there is an objective reason for why i have to live another minute in this hell .

or in any kind of imaginable existence even as a disembodied ai , i would still prefer Non-existence forever

the extremely horrible evil things have tainted all of life , existence, and this whole universe . i can't separate the worst pain the worst torture the most evil things from the supposedely "good" "pleasurable" garbage addictions. as all are part of the same evil

if i consciously partake in some pleasurable addiction like watching a clickbait youtube video then i feel like i'm condoning the evil imposition done to me , and all my suffering, and also all the torture of a trillion trilion sentient animals, including billions of humans that life has tortured.

all the suffering pain and problems wouldn't be possible if our ancestors didn't feel pleasure or condoned life. all the suffering , the torture of trillions of animals and billions of humans would not be possible if humans didn't believe "Life is good" . evolution created pleasure in the brain like pleasure of eating food so that our ancestors would eat food and then continue to live and reproduce . so i wouldn't bee here if the pain of hunger for food and the pleasure of eating food didn't exist .so the pleasures also lead to the worst torture and to me being born . which is another reason why i hate them . if i partake in any pleasure i 'm condoning life and all the suffering and i'm voting for prolife i 'm being prolife in that moment which will also lead me to fall into a trap of unbearable pain.

i listed more reasons on this post :


 
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ScholarOfDespair

ScholarOfDespair

Member
Sep 27, 2025
35
I lost the will to live around 3 years ago. I made a mistake which I constantly regret. I've always had CTB thoughts in the back of my mind but the past couple of months they have surfaced and reached a level that I can no longer contain. I don't know when I will end it.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,332
For me ceasing to exist is just all that's positive, all I want is peace from this deeply undesirable existence that I always saw as a mistake that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

I suffer simply from being burdened with this existence and simply just existing is enough to make me wish for the peace of an eternal sleep but of course I wish I never suffered more than anything, I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed at all, no matter what I'll always see it as an abomination to exist, all I want is to be unconscious for all eternity, I just want to never suffer again which is why I suffer so much from existing in this dreadful, terrible anti-suicide world where suicide is seen as a crime with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what.
 
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saadjazz

Member
Mar 16, 2022
29
recently I've been feeling suffocated living with my family. I don't wanna live with them, but I can't because I'm still a student. I'm trying to find a part-time job just to stay away from them and spend less time home.
So I guess it's about money, if I had money I would move permanently far from them.
Also I'm not fit to be with people. I have 0 friends. Never been in a relationship. It's so hard to socialize, it takes so much effort. And I can't afford therapy.
I don't have a plan when to ctb.
 
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