Why

[Gamenado]

I'm 28 My life isn't bad I do work a low wage job but I kinda like it I have a girlfriend who loves and supports me we are long distance It's just me in the house for rn but why do I always want to die I keep researching how to ctb I keep thinking about death constantly I wake up every day and wish I didn't I just want to feel better I just want to be happy again why can't I I'm on meds I talk to people I hang out when I can with people but when I'm alone all I want to do is ctb I'm crying so much I feel pathetic I've had attempts I just want to feel better or I don't want to be here im so scared of the future I don't want to be here I wanna go home I want be strong

 

[sos]

i personally think that you're being surrounded by distractions. you're experiencing life as if its okay whenever you're being kept busy but you're being slapped in the face by reality when there's little to nothing around you (or well, you being alone; when it's just you).

sounds like as if you need to set your focus on your life as an individual, rather than being pleased with your life whenever there's someone else around you.

kind of a matter of finding your own separate path in life.

if you could achieve anything in life, what would you want to achieve?
(apart from catching the bus, we're going for somewhat of positive vibes here)

 

[Gamenado]

i personally think that you're being surrounded by distractions. you're experiencing life as if its okay whenever you're being kept busy but you're being slapped in the face by reality when there's little to nothing around you (or well, you being alone; when it's just you).

sounds like as if you need to set your focus on your life as an individual, rather than being pleased with your life whenever there's someone else around you.

kind of a matter of finding your own separate path in life.

if you could achieve anything in life, what would you want to achieve?
(apart from catching the bus, we're going for somewhat of positive vibes here)

Getting a better job moving in with my girlfriend and I really need to work on how aggravated I get with anything it could be someone just happyly talking and I'm already upset I wish I wasn't like that

 

[sos]

Getting a better job moving in with my girlfriend and I really need to work on how aggravated I get with anything it could be someone just happyly talking and I'm already upset I wish I wasn't like that

i think that you should set your focus on getting a better job. but most importantly; a job that you'll enjoy.

you've got to work on yourself along with that. find things that you're interested in (apart from ctb).

but you should definitely set your main focus on the moments you're alone. you should ask yourself how you'll be able to fill up those empty gaps when you're not surrounded by others.

 

[Gamenado]

i think that you should set your focus on getting a better job. but most importantly; a job that you'll enjoy.

you've got to work on yourself along with that. find things that you're interested in (apart from ctb).

but you should definitely set your main focus on the moments you're alone. you should ask yourself how you'll be able to fill up those empty gaps when you're not surrounded by others.

Okay I'll try thank you for the kind words

 

[sos]

Okay I'll try thank you for the kind words

no problem, i'm sure that you'll figure it out. just keep in mind that it takes time, but you'll get there eventually.

and not to forget, you're not alone.

 

[hematomatema]

I'm 28 My life isn't bad I do work a low wage job but I kinda like it I have a girlfriend who loves and supports me we are long distance It's just me in the house for rn but why do I always want to die I keep researching how to ctb I keep thinking about death constantly I wake up every day and wish I didn't I just want to feel better I just want to be happy again why can't I I'm on meds I talk to people I hang out when I can with people but when I'm alone all I want to do is ctb I'm crying so much I feel pathetic I've had attempts I just want to feel better or I don't want to be here im so scared of the future I don't want to be here I wanna go home I want be strong

Have you thought about trying different medication (assuming you're talking antidepressants here - if not, get on these)? I know that for some people SSRIs end up making them feel even more depressed and that it takes other types (SNRI, tricyclics, etc.) to really make a dent in your depression.