Discussion why so many people addicted to approval?

[_Minsk]

like on facebook/ig with their reactions, i hate that they made everyone addicted and people are even willing to consume their ads about trash. is this approval thing hardwired into us humans or can we turn it off? i have the feeling like we cant even get rid of it im so sensitive to other people opinions, one mean word and my day is ruined.

 

[_Kaira_]

I think most people crave praise in general. The same goes for social media. Every like represents someone approves of whatever you posted, which translates to praise for the poster. Every share or repost is thus getting more people to view what you've posted. It can get addicting to feel that kind of approval. Like shots of dopamine the higher the numbers rise. Social media is just a way to receive that kind of drug en masse.

We live in a world where everyone is constantly being judged and needing to prove themselves worthy of being seen and heard, on top of being put into an advanced technological era. From birth, the majority of us are conditioned by our parents to achieve as high as possible in life. Not just them either. People tend to look down upon others who aren't doing as well as them. Humans feel like we have to have things that more 'successful' people have to appease others. For example, height and a six-figure job for males. Or a model worthy body like celebrities for females. Thus why our society is kind of garbage.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

I think a lot of people are kind of lost. We don't really know why we're here, or if there even is a why, and there is no instruction manual aside from vague instincts and feelings- all the others we write ourselves. If you don't have a strong sense of self, or of what you think is right and what's wrong, you're more likely to look for instruction from outside sources who seem to know what they're doing. And even if you do have a strong sense of self, sometimes you need confirmation that your self-concept isn't all in your head and approval or disapproval can serve as a kind of mirror.

It sounds hokey but I think people who find their purpose and know how/when to trust their senses are much less likely to be approval seeking, because they've already figured it out for themselves.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Because our ancestors who received validation and attention were more likely to pass on their genes. That's it.

 

[262653]

Turning off react alerts has made my experience here much smoother.

one mean word and my day is ruined

The only way I see to avoid mean words is to avoid being observed by other people. Even if you were to be the perfect version of who you want to be, there will be people who haven't met you, but they are already prepared to dislike (or like) you. I understand that trying to reason with the hardwire isn't always working... This topic interests me, and maybe a relevant revelation will come to me in the morning, or maybe not.

Can you give the context for "one mean word"? Was there a particular situation, on this forum, other social media platforms, or in RL?

 

[Wayfaerer]

Because social animals are wired to seek approval and group acceptance for millions upon millions of years. Those who went against the group were excluded and left to die so it is a survival mechanism. Approval-seekers on social media are just dopamine junkies like any other.

 

[greebo6]

like on facebook/ig with their reactions, i hate that they made everyone addicted and people are even willing to consume their ads about trash. is this approval thing hardwired into us humans or can we turn it off? i have the feeling like we cant even get rid of it im so sensitive to other people opinions, one mean word and my day is ruined.

Humans love to be loved. It hurts when were not .Praise and approval are part of that general need . But someone of us are more sensitive than others. But that's okay ,it doesn't make you a lesser person. And with depression/anxiety the sensitivity to what we see and hear can be much more acute.
Yep ,on a bad day one mean word or sad news can be all it takes. I've been there.

 

[Mr2005]

What people think doesn't matter, what you think matters. They don't know, they need people to tell them

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

We're social creatures living in an age of loneliness. And I'm not just talking about covid isolation. We can't get the approval we crave in real life so we seek it out online behind impersonal screens.

 

[RottenDeer]

People want to feel loved and cared about so they seek approval and praise. I am not often seeking for it but I'm not freed from it.

 

[Lupgevif]

I grew up fueled by approval. People telling me I did a good job was a sign I was on the right path.