"Why not travel the world before you die?" and similar responses to suicidal ideation

[right:sun]

Hi everyone,
what are your thoughts about people saying things in the lines of...

"Why not travel the world?"
"Why not try a bunch of drugs?"
"Why not sell all of your belongings and move to a new city?"

as a response to someone who seemingly has decided to commit suicide?
I think that it can come off as a bit insensitive. As if it was that easy. As if I would rid the pain by doing something crazy and unexpected.

"Hey, why not try before you decide to your forever-haul to the world unknown -
if you claim to have run out of options?
Why not try before you make the seemingly permanent choice of catching the bus,
you have nothing to lose, right?"

As if I would have the energy to get out of bed. As if I even have the desire to try, again, as I have over and over, for years,
as if I have something to prove,
as if my death means I have nothing to lose.

But in my moments of recovery and hope, I think about the times I have completely given up, let go, decided that "fuck it, I'm going to stop trying to run this circus",
As a result, a lot of weight has been shed from my mind, giving up ideas and thoughts and identities I have claimed from my time in this world-

Maybe there is something to this sentiment, although I don't think I could personally do something so drastic.
Sometimes I can remove the things placed upon my chest, but I have yet to decide if those moments make the weight worth it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree that it is insensitive. People cannot comprehend what we are going through as they are not living our lives. I think that it is better that they just say nothing instead.

 

[Al Cappella]

Time to get better friends/family members. Anyone who suggests that in an age of global plague and potential global war is an abject moron.

 

[Raggedyandy]

I think most people just don't know how to respond.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I think it's insensitive and aside from assuming you'd have energy to do such, assumes you'd have the means which probably most people wouldn't even with selling all their belongings. But I can understand it in a general sense and don't think it's ill-intentioned in most cases. In some ways it could be summed up to "why not try living the way you'd want to"? If someone asked me, "why not try running away?" I'd really consider it since it would solve some things, but not solve mental issues. Probably that's where the lack of understanding is - that the problem is deeper than changing the surroundings and trying stuff, even if those things are fun. Having a fun time once doesn't get rid of full-time depression. I wish it did.

I do think caring less can be freeing too but that can take the color out of life. Also, if your mind is a prison it's hard to ever get out of it once locked inside.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Time to get better friends/family members. Anyone who suggests that in an age of global plague and potential global war is an abject moron.

On the contrary , someone suggesting this might just be an absolute genius.

If this is as good as modern life can get you may want to knock all of these things out if it's something you could enjoy.

Your comment is predicated on a worldview that things would potentially get better with time and it's best to wait out these uncertainties. I'm not optimistic that any of these global risk factors will get any better. Privately , neither is the pentagon or Langley

 

[Al Cappella]

On the contrary , someone suggesting this might just be an absolute genius.

If this is as good as modern life can get you may want to knock all of these things out if it's something you could enjoy.

Your comment is predicated on a worldview that things would potentially get better with time and it's best to wait out these uncertainties. I'm not optimistic that any of these global risk factors will get any better. Privately , neither is the pentagon or Langley

Lol, not what I meant. First thing that came to mind is ppl wishing you stuck at airports, not being able to get anywhere, never mind enjoy a bucket list. Although, travel restrictions are easing, to be fair.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Lol, not what I meant. First thing that came to mind is ppl wishing you stuck at airports, not being able to get anywhere, never mind enjoy a bucket list. Although, travel restrictions are easing, to be fair.

Oh, ok, I'm sorry I misunderstood you.

In 2020 I felt much the same way as you and tried to avoid moving around outside as much as possible. I thought it was the right thing to do to protect others by not being a potential virus carrier.

Now I feel much differently as probably most of the world has had the virus by now.

 

[Ta555]

I'd say, suck a goddamn lemon. If I had health enough to do that I wouldn't ctb in the first place.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

I just find them tonedeaf. Not really offended by them so much as I understand them to be reflections of a cluelessness about what has brought us to this point. People who can't relate often view suicide as a completely irrational act, but as most of us know, it can be perfectly rational to want your pain to stop, whatever is causing it, especially if there is no other feasible solution.

Chronic health or social issues that have no medical solution don't suddenly improve just because you travel around the world. Ditto drugs or moving. Drugs will just temporarily fuck you up before you're back to the same problem, maybe with a new and expensive addiction. Moving just means you have to lug a bunch of boxes around and change your address 236504985 different places. No matter where you go, there you are.

If the people saying these things can't understand these truths then there isn't much basis for empathy or a meaningful conversation.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

Yeah, I get "suggested" this constantly, even by my parents who really should know better. After my last ctb attempts ~10 years ago, I tried hard to overcome the lack of energy associated with my chronic depression and literally did move to a new city and then, to a new country. Yet now I'm back to exactly where I started.

Ultimately it comes down to the basic fact that you can move wherever, but your diseased mind would be moving with you too.

 

[whatevs]

My mother exactly, precisely, told me yesterday that I should take some epic hike around the world before I kill myself, that it might change my perspective. But I handled it well. I countered with a reminder that just like that movie we saw, 'Into the wild', sometimes people do these "soul-searching journeys" with a subconscious determination to catch the bus. That guy certainly did.

Though, don't get me wrong, I still think it would be memorable. It might be better doing it than not doing it, but expecting it to actually resolve issues grave enough to induce suicidality is foolish.

 

[ameliacecelia]

Yeah I already did all of those things and would still rather die before doing any of those again. Except, I had planned on extracting DMT on my own but I got too sick to do that. That and ibogaine sounded pretty interesting but I'm not at all bothered by not experiencing them. Still, those questions are insensitive and don't deserve legitimate responses. As others have stated, all of those things require resources like money, time, energy, and motivation, things that many people don't have excesses of.

 

[slushy]

I have no money to do anything like that. There are many amazing experiences in this world. But most I'll never get to see, because they're locked behind pieces of green paper...

 

[summers]

as if my death means I have nothing to lose.

Honestly, my decision to ctb has given me this exact attitude. Like why not try things. Worst that can happen is they don't work out as planned. It things go completely to shit, I'm going to kill myself anyway. I've job hopped, tried new things, and took chances I never would have. 100%, if I wasn't worthless, I would be in Ukraine right now, fuck work, fuck worrying about what I would come back to, if I came back at all.

I have no money to do anything like that. There are many amazing experiences in this world. But most I'll never get to see, because they're locked behind pieces of green paper...

There definitely are experiences that don't cost much, if anything. Sure, it's not going to be grandiose like taking a tour of every calendar beach, but you would be surprised how much there is to do right in your own state or city.

 

[whatevs]

Yeah I already did all of those things and would still rather die before doing any of those again. Except, I had planned on extracting DMT on my own but I got too sick to do that. That and ibogaine sounded pretty interesting but I'm not at all bothered by not experiencing them. Still, those questions are insensitive and don't deserve legitimate responses. As others have stated, all of those things require resources like money, time, energy, and motivation, things that many people don't have excesses of.

I read bad reports on Ibogaine. Personally I would do DMT/Aya first. I have comically put it off for three years now, trying hallucinogens... I wanted to "get a better state if mind first". Not a bad plan, since you NEED a positive or accepting mindset when you try this for sanitizing your subconscious, the problem is... improving your state of mind in the first place.

 

[isitover010]

Hi everyone,
what are your thoughts about people saying things in the lines of...

"Why not travel the world?"
"Why not try a bunch of drugs?"
"Why not sell all of your belongings and move to a new city?"

as a response to someone who seemingly has decided to commit suicide?
I think that it can come off as a bit insensitive. As if it was that easy. As if I would rid the pain by doing something crazy and unexpected.

"Hey, why not try before you decide to your forever-haul to the world unknown -
if you claim to have run out of options?
Why not try before you make the seemingly permanent choice of catching the bus,
you have nothing to lose, right?"

As if I would have the energy to get out of bed. As if I even have the desire to try, again, as I have over and over, for years,
as if I have something to prove,
as if my death means I have nothing to lose.

But in my moments of recovery and hope, I think about the times I have completely given up, let go, decided that "fuck it, I'm going to stop trying to run this circus",
As a result, a lot of weight has been shed from my mind, giving up ideas and thoughts and identities I have claimed from my time in this world-

Maybe there is something to this sentiment, although I don't think I could personally do something so drastic.
Sometimes I can remove the things placed upon my chest, but I have yet to decide if those moments make the weight worth it.

traveling the world is overrated.

 

[ameliacecelia]

I read bad reports on Ibogaine. Personally I would do DMT/Aya first. I have comically put it off for three years now, trying hallucinogens... I wanted to "get a better state if mind first". Not a bad plan, since you NEED a positive or accepting mindset when you try this for sanitizing your subconscious, the problem is... improving your state of mind in the first place.

I love mushrooms. I grew 7 different kinds. I microdosed all but only did a few big trips. I love them. From what I've read, the scary part of Ibogaine was the point, as in it helped you reprocess and cope with traumas. Not trying to do that when I'm planning on exiting soon though.

 

[summers]

traveling the world is overrated.

I kind of agree. I think just going to a bunch of random places wouldn't be all that much fun. But I think going to a few places you've always wanted to would be great. For example, I've always wanted to go to Japan and check out the car scene in Tokyo or Osaka. But I wouldn't just go to Europe, because there's really nothing there that interests me.