Why not cut?

[Life_and_Death]

to start with im not talking deep cuts. serious physical damage is one thing. but whats wrong with surface cuts? the ones that are only a drop or 2 of blood if anything at all. why not?
and please more thought out answers then "youre loved", im aware and idc.
ive spent the last 24hrs not cutting thinking why not? its literally nothing. theres rarely blood. i heal mostly without a problem. the scar tissue has started adding up over the years so theyre starting to become noticeable. but thats my problem. if you want to judge me for hurting then thats your problem because it tells me all i need to know about you. and, well you wouldnt want your love one doing it. id be more concerned about the pain theyre feeling inside then care about the pain theyre causing to the outside. speaking specifically of the cuts im talking about, any worse and obviously id care.
my bf would really prefer if i didnt and...i dont know why i shouldnt.

 

[theboy]

self-destructive behaviors
that is bad

 

[noaccount]

"While these behaviours are pathologized as symptoms of mental illness, they can be understood, instead, as strategies of resistance against violence. When violence is ignored or normalized, the "acting out" associated with trauma can be a means of sounding an alarm that something is very wrong. This "acting out" can be understood as an embodied form of testimony. When direct resistance to violence, such as fighting back or escaping, is thwarted or impossible, traumatic "acting out" can be a way to draw attention to and resist violence."

"Psychiatric survivor testimony creates room to be crazy. It opens up space in which other survivors might dare to speak. It offers witness and validation by declaring that this violence happened to me too. Psychiatric survivor testimony is a powerful claim to the truth in the face of a silencing violence. I offer this article as another voice in this lineage of survivor stories.

Self-harm and other forms of "acting out" associated with trauma function as a form of testimony in and of themselves."

"When I was 15 years old, I began cutting myself, overdosing on pills, and having episodes in the middle of my high school. Some students approached the staff about this, and I was made to see the school social worker. During one of our sessions, I mentioned my stress over having to visit my grandparents because my grandfather made sexual comments about the children in my family..... the social worker called Children's Aid and the police. This didn't end the abuse in my life, but it did mean that I never had to see my grandfather again. Though I was not consciously aware of my reasoning, my self-harm functioned as a strategy of resistance."

View of Failure to Comply: Madness and/as Testimony | Canadian Journal of Disability Studies

cjds.uwaterloo.ca

"Self-injury is a common behaviour in our society. What do
you think is self-injury? Why?
• working very hard
• smoking
• running a marathon
• dieting
• not getting enough sleep
• excercising excessively
• not excercising at all
• piercing
• drinking alcohol
• walking on high heels
• getting tattoos
• playing football
...
Did you know that nearly every culture throughout the
entirety of human history has used pain and the infliction of
pain (often self-inflicted or inflicted by family
members/religious leaders) as a rite of passage, a means
of inducing an altered state of consciousness, as part of
healing ceremonies (both physical and spiritual), and as
part of religious ceremonies?
I still grapple with the difference between body modification
and cutting - IS there a difference? I'm not so sure that
getting a stranger to rub ink in an open cut for $150 is more
ok than cutting myself at home for free.
...
Girls said that they weren't doing this to hurt, they wrote they were doing it to feel
better. Many girls wrote stories of body modification, like giving themselves and
their friends tattoos and piercings.
Respondents talked about reclaiming their
body through body modification."

https://www.mmyc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Hurting-Yourself.pdf

 

[chloramine]

I don't think it's evil or bad, but it does cause harm for most people. It's helping to protect you or regulate things for you and those are good. What you're getting out of it is generally good it's just also causing harm. Obviously there's the physical harm component and yeah if you're basically just scratching then it's unlikely to negatively affect you, but I think it does also have a negative mental component? Maybe it doesn't for you I don't know.

What I would suggest for if you decide to try to not cut is to find something to replace it with instead of just not doing it. Right now it fulfills a need for you even if it's also not great for other reasons. Like if someone needs water then unclean water is better than no water even if it can hurt you and lead to other problems. If you just stop drinking then you're screwed. There needs to be some way of purifying the water or locating a clean source. It's about finding other ways to meet that need.

I don't know how it might hurt you to cut so I can't guess at a more nuanced answer for why you shouldn't. There are people who find that they become desensitized to it and it spirals. There are people who don't want others to see the marks. Personally I never found self harm really helped, but I hate myself and there is something really satisfying about it.

I think people hurt enough without adding more to it. I get it if you don't or can't stop or whatever and no judgment regardless of what you do. I just think you should get the chance to experience things that help without adding more pain.

 

[makethepainstop]

to start with im not talking deep cuts. serious physical damage is one thing. but whats wrong with surface cuts? the ones that are only a drop or 2 of blood if anything at all. why not?
and please more thought out answers then "youre loved", im aware and idc.
ive spent the last 24hrs not cutting thinking why not? its literally nothing. theres rarely blood. i heal mostly without a problem. the scar tissue has started adding up over the years so theyre starting to become noticeable. but thats my problem. if you want to judge me for hurting then thats your problem because it tells me all i need to know about you. and, well you wouldnt want your love one doing it. id be more concerned about the pain theyre feeling inside then care about the pain theyre causing to the outside. speaking specifically of the cuts im talking about, any worse and obviously id care.
my bf would really prefer if i didnt and...i dont know why i shouldnt.

I think you'd be more attractive without scarring. I knew a girl in HS who did a lot of wrist and arm cutting after years she had scars that could scare Frankenstein.

 

[Dead Ghost]

I don't even think about it, I accidentally scratched myself recently and even though enough days have passed waiting for it to heal well and not get infected, I can't stop looking at it scar at all hours waiting for it to disappear completely.

Maybe it's because I always take a long time to heal (and sometimes it gets infected for that very reason), but you won't see me cutting myself on purpose.

//

Jo es que ni m'ho plantejo, em vaig fer una rascada fa poc sense voler i tot i que ja han passat prou dies esperant que curi bé i que no se m'infecti no m'en puc estar pas de mirar-me la cicatriu a totes hores esperant a que desaparegui del tot.

Potser es perquè sempre tardo molt en curar (i de vegades s'infecta per això mateix), pero no em veuras pas fent-me talls de forma intencionada.

 

[timf]

Why not cut?

One reason is that the narrow focus on control and anxiety relief tends to be a distraction from skill development that, if neglected, may result in accumulating life problems that worsen over time.

 

[Maudlin]

to start with im not talking deep cuts. serious physical damage is one thing. but whats wrong with surface cuts? the ones that are only a drop or 2 of blood if anything at all. why not?
and please more thought out answers then "youre loved", im aware and idc.
ive spent the last 24hrs not cutting thinking why not? its literally nothing. theres rarely blood. i heal mostly without a problem. the scar tissue has started adding up over the years so theyre starting to become noticeable. but thats my problem. if you want to judge me for hurting then thats your problem because it tells me all i need to know about you. and, well you wouldnt want your love one doing it. id be more concerned about the pain theyre feeling inside then care about the pain theyre causing to the outside. speaking specifically of the cuts im talking about, any worse and obviously id care.
my bf would really prefer if i didnt and...i dont know why i shouldnt.

The sight of my own blood has always bothered me. Other peoples', not so much. It's just a weird reaction I have when I bleed... if it's a stupid accident that caused it, that I'm responsible for, I get angry and embarrassed and a little bit of my mind sort of just "switches off" for a while.

If someone else caused it, it's just rage. Blackness. My capacity to reason goes out the window. It isn't pretty.

I've never been able to wrap my head around that kind of self-harm, though I've known a few people that do it, and seem to get some kind of satisfaction from it. I wonder if it is related to what I've heard some masochists call "sub-space". Are you familiar with that?

By the way the advice you gave me the other day worked wonders, OP. Thank you, again.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I wonder if it is related to what I've heard some masochists call "sub-space". Are you familiar with that?

no? ive never even heard those words lol

By the way the advice you gave me the other day worked wonders, OP. Thank you, again.

thats awesome! im really grateful i could help :)

 

[Maudlin]

"While these behaviours are pathologized as symptoms of mental illness, they can be understood, instead, as strategies of resistance against violence. When violence is ignored or normalized, the "acting out" associated with trauma can be a means of sounding an alarm that something is very wrong. This "acting out" can be understood as an embodied form of testimony. When direct resistance to violence, such as fighting back or escaping, is thwarted or impossible, traumatic "acting out" can be a way to draw attention to and resist violence."

"Psychiatric survivor testimony creates room to be crazy. It opens up space in which other survivors might dare to speak. It offers witness and validation by declaring that this violence happened to me too. Psychiatric survivor testimony is a powerful claim to the truth in the face of a silencing violence. I offer this article as another voice in this lineage of survivor stories.

Self-harm and other forms of "acting out" associated with trauma function as a form of testimony in and of themselves."

"When I was 15 years old, I began cutting myself, overdosing on pills, and having episodes in the middle of my high school. Some students approached the staff about this, and I was made to see the school social worker. During one of our sessions, I mentioned my stress over having to visit my grandparents because my grandfather made sexual comments about the children in my family..... the social worker called Children's Aid and the police. This didn't end the abuse in my life, but it did mean that I never had to see my grandfather again. Though I was not consciously aware of my reasoning, my self-harm functioned as a strategy of resistance."

View of Failure to Comply: Madness and/as Testimony | Canadian Journal of Disability Studies

cjds.uwaterloo.ca

"Self-injury is a common behaviour in our society. What do
you think is self-injury? Why?
• working very hard
• smoking
• running a marathon
• dieting
• not getting enough sleep
• excercising excessively
• not excercising at all
• piercing
• drinking alcohol
• walking on high heels
• getting tattoos
• playing football
...
Did you know that nearly every culture throughout the
entirety of human history has used pain and the infliction of
pain (often self-inflicted or inflicted by family
members/religious leaders) as a rite of passage, a means
of inducing an altered state of consciousness, as part of
healing ceremonies (both physical and spiritual), and as
part of religious ceremonies?
I still grapple with the difference between body modification
and cutting - IS there a difference? I'm not so sure that
getting a stranger to rub ink in an open cut for $150 is more
ok than cutting myself at home for free.
...
Girls said that they weren't doing this to hurt, they wrote they were doing it to feel
better. Many girls wrote stories of body modification, like giving themselves and
their friends tattoos and piercings.
Respondents talked about reclaiming their
body through body modification."

https://www.mmyc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Hurting-Yourself.pdf

That certainly is food for thought. It makes sense, though... I've observed people who were their own worst enemy numerous times. Folks who, seemingly subconsciously, hate things about themself and their circumstances so much they consistently repeat harmful behaviors, or "blow it" at the most inopportune time... or embrace ideas and concepts that make them impossible for others to relate to.

That's some good information there, noaccount. Thanks for sharing it.

no? ive never even heard those words lol

It's been described to me as though it's an obsessive, almost controlling frame of mind that goes along with gaining comfort from the pain and helplessness inflicted apon oneself by another. I've never experienced it, myself.

 

[Dizzylady80]

Infection is a big one, it can happen even if you're careful.
With the scarring it depends on whether you mind people seeing them, because if they're visible people are gonna look. Personally I have a very hard time avoiding staring at people's scars even tho I feel bad about it; my eyes are just kinda drawn there, but if you don't mind then that doesn't matter too much. People aren't always judging but it can definitely affect people's perception of you, and it can affect your relationships.
There's the whole addiction aspect to it which isn't healthy for your brain, also makes it more likely that you'll use something unsafe if you don't have your usual cutting utensil on hand. Plus if you're intoxicated or something and get the urge to you could really fuck up a tendon.

Just a few off the top of my head. Ultimately it's up to you, not your boyfriend or anyone else, just please be careful ❤