Discussion Why it is difficult to reveal your problems to known people?

[drakeramoraya158]

I am a long time lurker here. I was wondering why it is more comfortable to discuss your serious life problems with strangers. I can never have the courage to discuss my deep rooted psychological issues with any known person.

1) Is this because some people don't want to face embarrassment by revealing their secrets to known people?(It is applicable for me)

2) Is this because some people don't know any nice people whom they can share their feelings with?

3) Is this because some people think that others(known people) will not be able to understand their problem( It is also applicable for me)

What is your opinion?

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe it is because of the fear of being judged by them and maybe people might be worried that others will think of them differently after sharing the problem. I do think the lack of understanding is a big reason as to why people do not share their problems as people do not want to be made to feel worse or have their situation invalidated. Things that may seem like a big deal to one person might be completely insignificant to another.

 

[hopelessdreams]

for me personally i don't have people around me that understand this situation or will likely downplay it, which will only make me feel worse. the community here really welcomes and understands everyone, i've never seen anything like this. also knowing that the people on this forum are far away from my situation gives me peace, because i can talk to them and not worry about seeing them everyday, i don't know if that makes sense. i just dont like people i see everyday to know my deepest struggles, because i don't want them to pity me.

 

[y0dha]

For me it's fear of being judged, I hate sharing stuff with anyone I know. I have trouble trusting also.
Here nobody knows me, and we pretty much all are in some shit so it's like normal to have troubled stuff to say here and nobody judge here.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Embarassment, not having anyone sympathetic to talk to, fears people won't understand or believe you or will downplay your issues, fear of judgement. So yes, all of the things you mentioned, and more I think. It's much harder to talk about problems when they involve other people, I think.

I don't understand how other people can talk about their problems so easily and get sympathy for them. I don't know where that is learned, and they seem to just have to deal with one thing at a time. Not hundreds of things.

This issue is one of the reasons I don't want to be alive anymore.

 

[Rational man]

I think we need to think twice before talking to known people, unless you trust them. News and gossip can travel fast. The forum members here are basically on the same ' hymnsheet '. I think we share pain on many level s and we connect.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

I feel I don't want to bring people down, but i feel I'm not myself due to various reasons. I have pains that cause me grief but noone can tell me why.

The best answer seems to be to try to ignore them, but it doesn't ultimately work. I think I am quite good at putting on a hard exterior, happy and positive even...

But deep down I am tired.

I haven't ever told anyone I'm suicidal, and I guess that's maybe because I haven't fully committed to the idea myself.

I feel like once I float that idea publicly there will be a torrent of concern that will come my way.. And I don't think it will be helpful. It may actually cause me more grief in the long run.

I had a family member CTB when I was young, to suicide, and obviously it's a raw subject for those of us who are left.

 

[Al Cappella]

Fear of judgement would be a big one, for sure. Fear of unmet expectations, another. Being online has a few unfortunate characteristics, in that it's mostly accountability-free mirroring. The proverbial echo chamber, in other words. And also here, you only ever have to worry about your side of things. No one knows any different, so it's way too easy to nurse a slant viewpoint.

In the real world you're expected to carry a certain amount responsibility, at the very least where a social contract is concerned, to say nothing of friendship/relationship/family demands. So in the real world you can't say the same things over and over without someone eventually expecting you to do something about it.

 

[Idontmatter]

I just don't want to be judged and don't want to be a burden on people. People understand here what you are going through. I still feel like im annoying on here to so I try not to post a lot. I've hinted to my husband that I'm suicidal which scares him but I just don't want it to be a huge shock when I do it.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm just surprised by how much we're all on the same page because I feel all of these things too. I think we've been let down and people should be more caring and understanding, personally. Like, people not like us obviously get sympathy, somehow, out there, and they get help. We should too? Maybe people do. My family is awful so I don't even know what a support network is like. Also, some of us might need medication even to be able to help themselves better.

I feel like my new medication is pushing me but also circumstances. It also means getting into arguments with people though and having to put everything out there, which I hate. I just want people to understand, and I just want to get away.