I don't judge other people on SaSu about how long they've been here, but I really, really do for myself. I find it shameful that I'm still here, almost to the point of giving up SaSu. My inner critic is a loud bitch, screaming "why are you still here? Just fucking do it already!!!"
And my anxiety tells me that's what other people think when they see me post - "this bitch! Still??!"
But I would never, ever actually think that of someone else.
It's not a one size, fits all, universal, rigid bus schedule we're on, it's customised to the individual, their capacity, their life circumstances.
That's what I have to tell myself to pull myself out of the shame...
Give yourself grace, people keep telling me. Which is sweet & I try (& fail) but I find it so much easier to give that to others. I think I've gone right off track again, another one of my calling cards, I'm so sorry...