Discussion Why is society and the law acting like physical abuse is worse than emotional abuse?

[Insomniac]

I'm genuinely wondering why we are collectively chosing to GASLIGHT the shit out of each other on this matter?

400 000 people die from homicide, each year.

800 000 people die from suicide, each year.

Assuming the false assumption that only emotional damage leads to suicide, why us everyone acting like physical damage is worse?

About 17% of people self-mutilate. What causes people to self-mutile? I frequently stab myself and each time the wou d is deeper because I progressively desensitised myself stabbing pain.

Yet, I have only been severely beaten twice in my life by my father while he was drunk.

The things that led me to self mutilation and be suicidal is his emotional abuse.

He causes me to hurt myself so he doesn't go to jail. It's just a legal form of assault that lead to the exam same result: physical damage.

Someone who holds you at gun point and get you to stab yourself is just as bad as someone who shoots you.

And you denying this is like accepting the idea that a world with no emotional abuse is UNREALISTIC. You probably subconsciously believe that it's necessary to society or something.


Honestly I need you guys to tell me why are you gaslighting me on this.

 

[Niente]

I agree with you concerning emotional abuse. I feel it is far more damaging, long term, than physical abuse but I also think that physical abuse is a form of emotional abuse. Having endured both I would rather be beaten than live with the constant trauma of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse leaves scares that run so deep, self-doubt that never ends, questions that are never answered, and an emptiness in your soul that is seldom healed. Physical abuse is a brutal thing, but it also leaves emotional scares, fear, questions. You take your beating, go to the nothingness in your mind so you don't react in way that may make the beating longer, and wait for it to stop. Once it stops, once you realize your still here, the fear and doubt creep in. Then you apologize for behaving badly, you take the blame, and you hope it will not happen again. That is emotional. I think society does recognize emotional abuse but as it can be so different for each person, I don't think it has a label that fits.

 

[Insomniac]

I feel it is far more damaging, long term, than physical abuse but I also think that physical abuse is a form of emotional abuse.

Exactly. This is why I self mutilate. Because I'll chose the permanent physical damage to the emotional one any day.

Other things I do is I break expensive things and burn personal items. It's just another way I abuse myself and sabotage myself but really it's him doing it through me.

People will say "oh, you chose to do this and that, you chose to stab yourself and burn your laptop".

Honestly I wish I was this disconnected and delusional. To think this is a choice to treat oneself like that. I so very wish.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Maybe the reason some people think one form of abuse is worse than the other, is because they're more resilient when it comes to being hurt emotionally, and they can't understand why other people are unable to do the same thing. If they've experienced physical abuse in the past, then it was probably far more traumatic for them, but for less resilient people (like me), the emotional abuse can be just as bad as, or worse than, the physical.

When we open up to those kinds of people, the gaslighting is probably a defensive reaction. To them, it probably feels like we're trying to downplay the seriousness of their physical trauma by suggesting that the emotional abuse we went through is just as serious. It probably triggers them on a subconscious level, and they might not always realize that they're gaslighting us, or fully understand why they're doing it.

Like what happened with your father, physical abuse from mine was extremely rare, but the emotional abuse was almost constant when I was growing up. The fact that it happened still led me to wish that I was dead, rather than his son, and it's also a huge part of why I became an anti-natalist. I always knew that if I brought kids into this world, I would be a horrible father and the generational cycle of abuse would keep going, just like my grandpa did with my dad, and my great grandpa before him.

 

[Niente]

Exactly. This is why I self mutilate. Because I'll chose the permanent physical damage to the emotional one any day.

Other things I do is I break expensive things and burn personal items. It's just another way I abuse myself and sabotage myself but really it's him doing it through me.

People will say "oh, you chose to do this and that, you chose to stab yourself and burn your laptop".

Honestly I wish I was this disconnected and delusional. To think this is a choice to treat oneself like that. I so very wish.

Everyone reacts in different ways to the hand life deals them and generally people will tell you that you have a choice, That your choosing to be self destructive. I feel that people's reactions to abuse are often cries for help that fall on deaf ears.

 

[Marine]

I'm genuinely wondering why we are collectively chosing to GASLIGHT the shit out of each other on this matter?

400 000 people die from homicide, each year.

800 000 people die from suicide, each year.

Assuming the false assumption that only emotional damage leads to suicide, why us everyone acting like physical damage is worse?

About 17% of people self-mutilate. What causes people to self-mutile? I frequently stab myself and each time the wou d is deeper because I progressively desensitised myself stabbing pain.

Yet, I have only been severely beaten twice in my life by my father while he was drunk.

The things that led me to self mutilation and be suicidal is his emotional abuse.

He causes me to hurt myself so he doesn't go to jail. It's just a legal form of assault that lead to the exam same result: physical damage.

Someone who holds you at gun point and get you to stab yourself is just as bad as someone who shoots you.

And you denying this is like accepting the idea that a world with no emotional abuse is UNREALISTIC. You probably subconsciously believe that it's necessary to society or something.


Honestly I need you guys to tell me why are you gaslighting me on this.

I think you hit the nail on the head : it's necessary to society, at least the ones in power. More and more studies show that psychological violence is the most damaging form of violence, and that all other forms of violence also psychological suffering, which is the most destructive in the long term. It's blatanly ignored because it serves a purpose sadly. Hopefully this charade will eventually be exposed and dismantled.

 

[Insomniac]

Everyone reacts in different ways to the hand life deals them

I really don't think so.

If you were exactly me, with my genes and my environment and had my parents and my grandparents and ancestors...

I'm positive you too would have opened your left calf at 6:32 pm on June 8th 2022.

I get what you're trying to say. I just really wanted to make this point that no, people don't react differently.

we don't say that someone's body with cancer is "overreacting" when they die from a simple flu.

 

[settheory]

One of the reasons is that emotional abuse is less obvious. Maybe it's also because less people experienced large scale emotional abuse. But being more emotionally resilient might not be one of the major reasons. Many of those who belittle emotional abuse or even are emotional abusers themselves are actually fragile as hell. They might get very mad if they feel like their privilege or perceived superiority is threatened. False sense of superiority might be a big reason too. Something like "at least I am not one of those losers who CHOOSE to be sad".

 

[hopelessdreams]

because physical abuse can be proven, it has physical evidence. mental abuse can be proven too with mental health diagnosis, but that has to deal with a lot of other circumstances (wealth, age, health, upbringing). it's a lot harder to prove sadly