Venting why is my mom always punishing me and hitting me”

[elliestxttoo]

almost once a week my mom will take all my electronics and hit me over nothing. yesterday it was bc the dog, whos 14 and dying, peed in her diaper and i had to give her a bath. what am i doing wrong in life for this.

 

[VidFlumina]

How old are you?

 

[elliestxttoo]

How old are you?

18, almost 19

 

[EvisceratedJester]

You are doing nothing wrong. She is just looking for excuses to take her anger out on you. A lot of parents do it. Do you know anyone who could stay with in order to get away from her?

 

[elliestxttoo]

You are doing nothing wrong. She is just looking for excuses to take her anger out on you. A lot of parents do it. Do you know anyone who could stay with in order to get away from her?

last time i tried to run away i stayed with my only friend whos mother tried sending me to a womans shelter so she didnt have to deal with me, my dad wont take me either so im sorta stuck

 

[Blue Elephant]

Who's to say what's wrong with her? I think maybe @EvisceratedJester is right.

edit: I wonder how bad is your mother. Why is she suferring?

edit 2: If you're stuck in this situation then the only thing to do is make the best of it, IF there is a way to make the best of it.

When she's punishing you.. does she say why she's doing it?

 

[VidFlumina]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. She is a fucking asshole for hitting you and taking your property. Maybe woman's shelter wouldn't be a bad idea? I mean I think it would be better to live there for some time than living with someone abusing you like that.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

last time i tried to run away i stayed with my only friend whos mother tried sending me to a womans shelter so she didnt have to deal with me, my dad wont take me either so im sorta stuck

Oh, that's awful. I'm sorry that you are stuck with her. Maybe you could try staying at the womens shelter or some other shelter?

 

[Dot]

Who's to say what's wrong with her? I think maybe @EvisceratedJester is right.

edit: I wonder how bad is your mother. Why is she suferring?

edit 2: If you're stuck in this situation then the only thing to do is make the best of it, IF there is a way to make the best of it.

When she's punishing you.. does she say why she's doing it?

Am srry bt makng xcuses fr sme1 wh/ = violnt = nt helpfl

Violnce = nevr ok

 

[elliestxttoo]

Who's to say what's wrong with her? I think maybe @EvisceratedJester is right.

edit: I wonder how bad is your mother. Why is she suferring?

edit 2: If you're stuck in this situation then the only thing to do is make the best of it, IF there is a way to make the best of it.

When she's punishing you.. does she say why she's doing it?

my mother was abused in everyway possible growing up, she then got into 2 marriages in her life who both abused her. i get its the only way she knows but it still hurts me and drives me to want to CTB. i do not blame her much but her parents and exes who did this. and when she punishes me she normally says why but its a lot of bullshit, like im lazy, or cant do anything right. she uses her depression and anxiety as an excuse but mine is only something to get punished for.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@Dot @elliestxttoo I'm not asking with the purpose of defending what she is doing, I'm asking with the purpose of understanding WHY is she acting like that. Of course what she is doing is bad. I had a feeling she went through some rough stuff. You can't keep beating a dog and expect them to be nice afterwards. If this keeps up there's a chance that you @elliestxttoo might end up like her.

@elliestxttoo I'm sorry that she treats you like that! I want to help but, I don't know.. The way I see it there are two possibilities here. She's damaged, obviously, but can it be fixed, can her situation be alleviated somehow, does she want to heal or is she embracing the pain!? If it's the second then there is not much to be done. You'll have to resist somehow until you're able to leave. If it's the first then maybe you can help heal her, you heal her and it will be better for you. You can do this by helping her with chores, spending time with her, going out for walks together, I don't know, it depends on what she likes.

Now, I don't know everything, I might be wrong but this is what I can think of that might help.

If others on the forums would like to add to that, if anyone would like to correct me then please do!

I'm sorry if I'm getting things wrong.

 

[VidFlumina]

my mother was abused in everyway possible growing up, she then got into 2 marriages in her life who both abused her. i get its the only way she knows but it still hurts me and drives me to want to CTB. i do not blame her much but her parents and exes who did this. and when she punishes me she normally says why but its a lot of bullshit, like im lazy, or cant do anything right. she uses her depression and anxiety as an excuse but mine is only something to get punished for.

In my perspective, it doesn't matter what other people had done to her. At all. You said that you don't blame her much. I think you actually should. Her traumas are hers to deal with, not yours. And I don't think it's the only way she knows, because surely there are people in her life she treats with respect. I am glad that you recognize that these are bullshit reasons, because they are. Your father is also an ass for not helping you. I hope you'll think about going to woman's shelter, I think it would be good for you if you stayed for awhile away from your shitty mother, who seems to feel entitled to abuse you.

@Dot @elliestxttoo I'm not asking with the purpose of defending what she is doing, I'm asking with the purpose of understanding WHY is she acting like that. Of course what she is doing is bad. I had a feeling she went through some rough stuff. You can't keep beating a dog and expect them to be nice afterwards. If this keeps up there's a chance that you @elliestxttoo might end up like her.

@elliestxttoo I'm sorry that she treats you like that! I want to help but, I don't know.. The way I see it there are two possibilities here. She's damaged, obviously, but can it be fixed, can her situation be alleviated somehow, does she want to heal or is she embracing the pain!? If it's the second then there is not much to be done. You'll have to resist somehow until you're able to leave. If it's the first then maybe you can help heal her, you heal her and it will be better for you. You can do this by helping her with chores, spending time with her, going out for walks together, I don't know, it depends on what she likes.

Now, I don't know everything, I might be wrong but this is what I can think of that might help.

If others on the forums would like to add to that, if anyone would like to correct me then please do!

I'm sorry if I'm getting things wrong.

There are in fact people, who were abused in the past and don't abuse others. Actually lots of them. They just don't feel entitled to abuse someone else. That's it.
Your advice to help her heal is very bad and very damaging for OP. OP is not responsible for healing her mother. It doesn't seem that mother is eager to heal and treat OP better either. Helping her, going out for walks will increase time spent together and just make her mother abuse OP more.
Please OP don't listen to this. Your mother needs a therapist, you won't heal her no matter how much you'll try. Abusers are abusers. As I said, her trauma is not your burden to carry.

 

[IWishToDie]

almost once a week my mom will take all my electronics and hit me over nothing. yesterday it was bc the dog, whos 14 and dying, peed in her diaper and i had to give her a bath. what am i doing wrong in life for this.

If you're a girl, you gotta hit her back and assert dominance. Tell her you have had ENOUGH. Act like a b*tch, get treated like one. Some humans are more like animals and only respond to conditioning. My mum used to push me into corners and it felt so horrible, I am a big man and I would have been screwed if I ever layed hands on her. Use gender privilege to your advantage. I know it's hard. Best of luck, friend.