Why is it not right for children to die before their parents?

[Lifeaballache]

I see this phrase bandied about every now and again. People saying that parents shouldn't Bury their children. But at the same time is it easy for children to Bury their parents?

I don't think so...

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people view death as tragic and see life as something that must be prolonged as much as possible. In reality death is only sad for those left behind, not the person who has died. If a child dies before their parents people see this as sad as they believe that the child has missed out on life.

These people are clearly delusional as they believe that life has value and is beneficial but the truth is that life is completely unnecessary and staying alive has no purpose, it's just passing time until we inevitably die. Dying younger prevents all the suffering that the person would have had to experience if they stayed alive. Only the living are capable of suffering and all problems belong to the living, not the dead. Non existence is ideal.
And anyway, we all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing and nobody should be guilt tripped and forced into staying here against their wishes by others.

 

[StolenLife]

I guess there isn't one clear correct answer... But they say that the loss that causes the most emotional pain is the loss of a child. I'm not a mother so I wouldn't know, but it might be because our dna has programmed us to care for our offspring in order to reproduce, setting aside how many people aren't good at fulfilling the parental role. Society also deems loss of a young life more tragic than the loss of someone in their 40s or 60s. Another factor might be that old age, while already miserable, is even worse to deal with if there is no one to help you or to keep you company. As one reaches old age, they can't spend time with their friends like they could in their younger years, and since their parents are most likely dead by this point, the only ones left to care about them is their offspring. Though I guess there is also an option of a nursery home, but a lot of elderly people can't afford that.
In conclusion, old age without anyone to help is a nightmare, and the emotional pain of that loss is too much to bear. But in my opinion any loss of a loved one is unbearable, no matter the age of the deceased.

 

[notlongnow]

A mother or father will always be distraught if their child passes, very rarely if open and honest enough some acknowledge their struggle and almost but never fully accept. Its human nature for a carer and guardian to always suggest a fix but when those that need it want no more struggle, its only fair to consider them at peace when no longer here. Just my thoughts. For the record I'm not a parent!

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Parents' passing before their children is seen as the natural order of things even though it's really only a modern conceit that that is the case. For most of human history up until relatively recently infant and child mortality were very high no matter what your station in life was (one example that stands out is Queen Anne who had like 20 pregnancies none of which produced an adult heir. If one had world history might have been very difficult). This is why the average life span was so slow and why the birth rate declines as a country develops. With greater quality of life and better health outcomes for children there is less of a need to have a bunch of children to ensure at least some survive (which is how orgabisms normally operate).

That said, of course no parent wants, then or now, to see the death of a child. From a certain matter-of-facf standpoint raising children represents a massive investment and a lot of opportunity costs so having one die means that investment is wasted.

 

[theboy]

It is not wrong. It is sad

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think (good) parents have a natural instinct to want to protect their children. Plus, I suppose it's always a shock when the older generation outlives the young. In general, I think it's a statement given more to natural deaths. My Mum died at 40 and my Nana died in her 80's. She was devastated when my Mum died. We all were. It's that idea of being 'taken' before your time- before you've had the chance to fulfill your potential I suppose.

I agree though- it doesn't take into consideration that person's quality of life. A young death can be seen as tragic but a life lived in misery is also terribly tragic where death seems like the only way out. Death is surely a release in that case.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

It is not easy for anyone to bury our loved ones. It's just that seeing your parents pass on one day is normalized in our society, it's a universal experience most people will eventually go through. Losing a child wasn't always seen as a unique tragedy, there was a time when it was relatively normalized too, but in modern world it is more or less expected that under normal circumstances people live until old age, so when people die young it comes as a shock to everyone, and their loved ones are seen as unusually affected by grief.

 

[gimzero]

And if that happen then its imposibile to die its like others choose the time for us.

 

[LakatosDiogenesz]

According to western culture, everyone has to be alive for as long as possible and lead a socially acceptable life. You may only die once you lived for at least 60-80 years. Consequentially, people can't die before their parents do because doing so would mean that they had a lot of potential years left.
Anyway, it's not considered right for someone to bury their child because it deviates from the lifescript that everyone's expected and pressured to follow. Sure it's sad to see a family member die, but a large part of it is cultural. Back when stillbirth and infant mortality were common, they weren't made out to be the worst tragedies that one could experience, like today.