Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
I'm lying in bed in emotional agony with no distractions. What am I supposed to do now with this "burnt skin" that won't heal?
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Niftypoint124
Student
- Nov 7, 2020
- 117
This sounds like either/or, when I think it's more like a balance of the two. Do you have things that take up time during your day, during which you are so focused that the emotional stuff gets back burnered for a bit?
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
No nothing at all and nothing interests me except escaping my loneliness.
MichaelNomad123
Jesus
- Oct 15, 2020
- 433
I believe the idea is that you can never run from your problems. They always come back to you. I think it's fine to distract and escape for a period of time before you address the issue. Sometimes the time is not right. There is no shame in that because it's a very mature response in reality. You know you and a significant portion of your journey is coming to terms with yourself. You are learning how you process and in that, developing wisdom.
I think the key is to not forget that you will eventually have to face it. It just doesn't have to be now, if you don't want it to be.
I think the key is to not forget that you will eventually have to face it. It just doesn't have to be now, if you don't want it to be.
It depends on the individual of course. Personally I have found it helpful because feeling my own emotions is something I have struggled with. For most of my life I cut myself off from my own emotions and pain, to try to feel what I thought I was *supposed to* feel and what I thought other people wanted me to feel.
Also, something my therapist says to me - its a little harsh to label the little things in life that give us happiness as 'distractions'. If you enjoy playing video games, going for walks, watching movies, or whatever then its not a distraction its living!
Also, something my therapist says to me - its a little harsh to label the little things in life that give us happiness as 'distractions'. If you enjoy playing video games, going for walks, watching movies, or whatever then its not a distraction its living!
VivaldiBR
Experienced
- Oct 4, 2020
- 249
This is the most important thing you have to do. Feel the pain. With no distractions. But do not believe in your thoughts. It is an emotional and not a rational process. If you can, cry, scream, sing, etc.
Kramer
Nervous wreck
- Oct 27, 2020
- 1,398
What if the emotional pain is daily? What are examples of thoughts not to believe in? I often rehearse a specific missed opportunity with a girl. All the thoughts are just deductions from the all the times I was around her or the thoughts are just describing the scenes like a narrative.
VivaldiBR
Experienced
- Oct 4, 2020
- 249
My pain is also daily. You're not the only one.
Not believing in your thoughts means, for example, not carrying the blame for past mistakes, not feeling that your happiness depends on someone else, that your situation will never change, that your beliefs about life will remain the same, etc.
Your thoughts are you ego talking.
Not believing in your thoughts means, for example, not carrying the blame for past mistakes, not feeling that your happiness depends on someone else, that your situation will never change, that your beliefs about life will remain the same, etc.
Your thoughts are you ego talking.
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Niftypoint124
Student
- Nov 7, 2020
- 117
I'm not sure what your daily activities include, but could you find ONE thing to do each day that will take up a few hours of your time?
Here's some examples of stuff I've tried in the past: no-credit courses from edx.org related to things I used to enjoy, reading a book, making collage art with crap in my house, scrubbing all the grout in the bathroom [...it keeps your attention but isn't too consuming, unless you forget to ventilate the room], forcing myself to take a daily walk for 30mins, building (very ugly!) tiny furniture out of popsicle sticks...
I understand this. Every time the kids leave it's unbearably lonely and painful. I basically just use weed and then stress clean the whole house. I think it's just a matter of keeping yourself distracted and busy if you can't handle the thoughts or emotions. I know I can't just let myself feel them because it will lead to impulsiveness. You could try finding new movies or games. even if something isn't holding your interest you can still use it to keep yourself busy. What about doing puzzles?
Sensei
剣道家
- Nov 4, 2019
- 6,336
Could you perhaps find a productive distraction? Then you don't need to feel ashamed of spending time on it.
Susannah
Mage
- Jul 2, 2018
- 530
I remember being taught (Pain clinic) that being aware and accept the pain is an important approch to your struggles, especially during meditation/ breathing excersises. I really hated the idea, but acceptance is nescessary in order to "let go" of the pain. Crying and screaming is underrated as therapy. Get your emotions out.
Personally I find the best therapy in music. Loud music. Songs that lift my mood up, or down.
Personally I find the best therapy in music. Loud music. Songs that lift my mood up, or down.
Silvermorning
The polar bears made me do it
- Oct 10, 2020
- 214
I'd sugest OP learning a language if he's inclined to give it a try, it can be done passively at first, and works as a distraction too,
after mastering basics, you start watching subtitled tv series, movies in the respective language and once you feel confident, you can join some community where is widely spoken, for the live practice.
