Venting Why is dying so hard 😭😭😭😭

[Busridin'26]

Ate a piece of candy and woah... no wonder homeless folks have a stereotype of being mean... when im starving/my blood sugar is low I'm sooo angry at everything. Like generally a hot blooded person but more so about injustice & such.

But anyway having a piece of candy and frustrations turned to sadness...

Why is it so hard to die? Why isn't it enough to just want to die? The already demoralizing experience of wanting to CTB self isn't enough?

It's just so frustrating... I can't settle on a method bc from the point of being able to execute, to the aspect of it working vs failing... I'm like what's even possible?

The aspect of a failed attempt is what set's me back the most tbh... bc failing can equal not being able to attempt again.

Nothing is foolproof ig so I guess I just needa pick a method & do my research & go for it


Eating the piece of candy has activated some hunger in me...
Maybe I'll eat tonight. Maybe I won't.... shall see. It doesn't matter that much to me anyway.


I'm just generally frustrated over this. I'm not feeling the usual pressure, its pressure bc I wanna die soon. Not bc I feel I have to.

I'm just sick of this struggle. How to pick a method & go full throttle ahead with it? How to pick a method with confidence? I just dunno anymore but I am sure of my need to die. Not want anymore but need.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see it as being so cruel how suicide is purposely made so difficult for people, I'm only still trapped here as suicide methods are inaccessible or risky, it's just so inhumane denying people a right to die in peace as not everyone even wants to exist here and for many the only relief lies in death, I understand feeling so tired of it all. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.