Story Why I Left SaSu and Why I'm Back

[weallhaveourghosts]

In May I was going to attempt with SN. It got it in my mouth and all I had to do was swallow but I couldn't. I took it as a sign (yeah I know) and decided to give it all another shot. I found a PNP, I started meds, I got a therapist. I opened up and told them everything thinking surely the way to get better is to tell the truth but I was wrong. And now I'm back here, sitting next to rope, ready to go. The only person I feel bad doing this to is my roommate. They've been the only person who ever let me just be me without seeing me as a problem that needed solving. They asked me questions and genuinely wanted to understand. They deserve a better roommate though and I am just too tired to keep going on. The kind of tired that no amount of sleeping can fix. I just want it to be over. If the rope doesn't work then I'll try and try again until I CTB.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Well I suppose welcoming you back wouldn't be quite right as this is always a hard time if we are here, but I also hope for your peace. Be that recovery, or otherwise.

 

[avalokitesvara]

I'm sorry you've come to this point. It's good you have had a close relationship with someone who can listen and care about you. I understand just wanting it all to be over, though. I hope you find peace, whether you catch your bus or stick around