Venting Why I can't take male "loneliness" seriously

[angelhealing]

I'm sick of hearing about how "lonely" they feel when it's their own damn fault and the incredibly high standards they have for women. As a woman over the age of 25 I'm seen as inherently unattractive and infertile by men. I'm literally doomed to never experience love and relationships because of a number. A 30 year old can be the most beautiful woman in the world but men won't want her because she is over 25 and "postwall". All they care about is the number. A man can work hard and become rich, they can even get surgery to increase their penis size and height and they can be loved at any age. But for women, there is nothing that will turn back the clock and make her under 25. Age is an impossible standard to overcome.
Male "loneliness" will never come close to what women feel after they get discarded on their 25th birthday. So if you feel "lonely" as a male shut the fuck up and do something about it. Date a fat woman. Date a middle aged woman. Date an ugly woman. (Actually date her pump and dump doesn't count.) Just grow up, man up, and get over the immature irrational standards you have for women.
The best part of suicide is that I'll never have to interact with those people again or hear the ridiculous things they say about women again. They make living and enjoying life as a woman impossible.

 

[avaruus]

Most men who are lonely, are not lonely because they just reject all the unattractive women who approach them. (Most men, never get approached in their life)
I get that you feel frustated and bitter, i understand. But that is quite one dimensional view to hold.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

This is laughably untrue and it's just a spin on the same rhetoric that you're criticising.

 

[Kempel556]

I don´t think that is correct, alot of men have low standards when it comes to dating women but they are ignored most of the time, even by the types of women you mention that are "apparently easier to date just because they are fat, ugly or middle aged". Not every male thinks that just because a women is over 25 that she no longer is attractive

 

[Seered Doom]

Okay, then answer me this OP, as a trans male, I feel lonely on a daily basis. It's this loneliness valid to you or do you wish me to stfu as well?

 

[HollowDrop]

Loneliness is more than not having romance, I hope you realize that. Romance is overrated and is not a fix to anyone. And there are the same people you just described also within women, all sides have their bad apples. I'm a girl but my most utterly soul crushing relationship was with a woman and not a man, and girls are the reason why I have deep rooted high school trauma. And don't get me started on the whiny ladies I've had to deal with for customer service who would cuss us for doing our jobs. Does that mean I should curse all women as evil now?
I understand you probably have bad personal experiences with men that makes you curse all of them, but the kindest people usually are simply the more laid back and quiet ones so you cannot notice them past the loud bad apples.

 

[NumbItAll]

Lonely male here who does not care about age/fertility since reproduction is stupid anyway. All this time I never thought to just "do something about it." Thanks. I am sorry for your issues though as I do understand the pain of rejection / feeling unwanted.

 

[Kempel556]

Okay, then answer me this OP, as a trans male, I feel lonely on a daily basis. It's this loneliness valid to you or do you wish me to stfu as well?

I don´t know where the OP got this idea that males can´t feel lonely, like I get that she might be going trough some stuff in her life but limiting loneliness just to the female gender is just wrong

 

[Seered Doom]

I agree. Hence why I posed my question the way I did.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

I only disagree with u on the age 25 part. It's more when u hit closer to age 30 that u start having a smaller pool of potential men interested in longterm. It also will depend on where u live. If it's some smaller rural city it's going to be harder. U really have a much shorter window and a smaller pool of potential mates in smaller towns or cities. It did happen to me that I missed out on finding a partner and never had kids. I'm over it now but it's hard sometimes I definitely feel the exclusion and isolation because of not having my own family or a partner. Unfortunately I was also brought up in neglect and abuse which further put me at a disadvantage when it was time to pair up with someone. Undiagnosed autism, even further contributes to why I ended up single. If I had been brought up in a better environment with two parents I think my odds would have been better that I would have married and stuff but I just had a really terrible upbringing. I had problems trusting people, being attracted to the wrong people. Abortions took my unborn children because I was still getting involved with guys but not actually taking it slow and being married first in a stable relationship. My 20's were a waste and a painful nightmare. I aborted my kids because I didn't know how I was going to support them by myself and didn't want to be a welfare mother like my mother was. We were so impoverished and there was no child support or anything, poverty is traumatic. My mom had narcissistic personality disorder which is a terrible situation for any child but especially if u have disability or are highly sensitive. Sorry for going too deeply into it and off topic lol! I just wanted to express that in our current society both genders can end up struggling to find partners and forming enduring unions because not much care is taken to ensure we know what we are doing and how to navigate relationships.

 

[Mrpickles]

I'm sick of hearing about how "lonely" they feel when it's their own damn fault and the incredibly high standards they have for women. As a woman over the age of 25 I'm seen as inherently unattractive and infertile by men. I'm literally doomed to never experience love and relationships because of a number. A 30 year old can be the most beautiful woman in the world but men won't want her because she is over 25 and "postwall". All they care about is the number. A man can work hard and become rich, they can even get surgery to increase their penis size and height and they can be loved at any age. But for women, there is nothing that will turn back the clock and make her under 25. Age is an impossible standard to overcome.
Male "loneliness" will never come close to what women feel after they get discarded on their 25th birthday. So if you feel "lonely" as a male shut the fuck up and do something about it. Date a fat woman. Date a middle aged woman. Date an ugly woman. (Actually date her pump and dump doesn't count.) Just grow up, man up, and get over the immature irrational standards you have for women.
The best part of suicide is that I'll never have to interact with those people again or hear the ridiculous things they say about women again. They make living and enjoying life as a woman impossible.

That's really generalizing it, don't you think? Social media isn't real life. I know men who have crazy high standards and they're alone. I also know women with crazy high standards and they're alone. It's only those that are online and vocal about it that get heard. Everyone is allowed to have a preference, they just have to realize they're increasing their chances of being alone, the more they pile on.

Sure, a guy can get a surgery to increase his peter, but there's a good chance it will never work again and it's crazy expensive. I personally would never do that, the risk is too high and I'm not self conscious about it. Same for increasing height, it's crazy expensive and you could lose the ability to walk.

Take a break from social media, seriously. There are plenty of men I know, myself included, that don't have crazy high standards. Same for women, but those you will never hear complain on social media. Seriously, don't let social media drive a wedge between you and the other gender. It's exactly what the powers that be want.

Myself for example, I'm 36, I would NEVER date a girl under 25. We are in completely different points in life, there's nothing relatable. I have preferences, sure, but those preferences aren't hard set rules. I care more about being able to be happy long term than a little extra weight, or a hair color that isn't my favorite. I don't have poor self image, I think I look good, but I don't look at people as a "number" in terms of attractiveness. I either like you or I don't, attraction is only part of it.

Please, read all that and reconsider. I hate when men act like this and women act like this. It will turn you into a very bitter person and increases chances of being lonely. Yes, those men are annoying, but they don't represent the majority of men. They're the vocal minority. Same for women who are the equivalent.

Take care, *hugs*

 

[Old Friend]

I've suffered with loneliness much of my life. I was lonely as a teen living at home and I feel lonely again now, despite being in a relationship. There's lots of shit that comes with being man.

I also don't get the 25 cut off point, which suposedly aplies to women. It just isn't a thing. Any 25 year woman can got on a dating app and get tons of attention. If the sort of men you get attention from don't meet your standards then that's fine but men are entitled to standards too.

 

[lex]

I'm sorry you feel that way. It seems to me, you got exposed to the incel communities since you use their jargon. But trust me, men aren't like that. These people are in a bubble that isn't representative of real life. The internet, where everyone can act as unhinged as possible, isn't real life. I don't want to invalidate your feelings but just to give you an example: my brother (who is 26) is with someone who is 3 years older. They have a child together. I also tried to persue someone who is older than me. She didn't show interest but "even though" she just turned 30 I'm still not over her lol
I don't feel lonely because my standards are too high, I feel lonely because I'm mentally ill and it's impossible to find someone who can relate to me.
I get your frustration but it doesn't matter if you're male or female. Dating is hard for everyone

 

[Dot]

I'm sick of hearing about how "lonely" they feel when it's their own damn fault and the incredibly high standards they have for women. As a woman over the age of 25 I'm seen as inherently unattractive and infertile by men. I'm literally doomed to never experience love and relationships because of a number. A 30 year old can be the most beautiful woman in the world but men won't want her because she is over 25 and "postwall". All they care about is the number. A man can work hard and become rich, they can even get surgery to increase their penis size and height and they can be loved at any age. But for women, there is nothing that will turn back the clock and make her under 25. Age is an impossible standard to overcome.
Male "loneliness" will never come close to what women feel after they get discarded on their 25th birthday. So if you feel "lonely" as a male shut the fuck up and do something about it. Date a fat woman. Date a middle aged woman. Date an ugly woman. (Actually date her pump and dump doesn't count.) Just grow up, man up, and get over the immature irrational standards you have for women.
The best part of suicide is that I'll never have to interact with those people again or hear the ridiculous things they say about women again. They make living and enjoying life as a woman impossible.

Nt sre whch men u r spendng tme wth bt ppl entr rlatnshps @ all ags

Slf met persn tht ws spposd 2 mrry whn ws 31

Th/ men tht u r describng r jst xamples of shallownss or arrestd develpmnt

Am srry tht thngs hve bn diffclt fr u bt invalid8tng a whle gendrs suffrng wth genrlisatns wll hlp neithr thm nor u

 

[Meditation guide]

Men find women of all ages attractive or at least some do. My mother (now deceased) was getting flirted with and men attempted to pick her up at over 70.

 

[dumbgirlonline]

I'm sick of hearing about how "lonely" they feel when it's their own damn fault and the incredibly high standards they have for women. As a woman over the age of 25 I'm seen as inherently unattractive and infertile by men. I'm literally doomed to never experience love and relationships because of a number. A 30 year old can be the most beautiful woman in the world but men won't want her because she is over 25 and "postwall". All they care about is the number. A man can work hard and become rich, they can even get surgery to increase their penis size and height and they can be loved at any age. But for women, there is nothing that will turn back the clock and make her under 25. Age is an impossible standard to overcome.
Male "loneliness" will never come close to what women feel after they get discarded on their 25th birthday. So if you feel "lonely" as a male shut the fuck up and do something about it. Date a fat woman. Date a middle aged woman. Date an ugly woman. (Actually date her pump and dump doesn't count.) Just grow up, man up, and get over the immature irrational standards you have for women.
The best part of suicide is that I'll never have to interact with those people again or hear the ridiculous things they say about women again. They make living and enjoying life as a woman impossible.

I mean it both goes ways. Women can also get rich, get cosmetic surgeries (even ones to "become tighter" or remove outer labia, ect).
Yeah, I understand that men seem to focus on ages or looks but stop and ask yourself if *you* are also focusing on those things. Even the ugliest and poorest of people can find love.
Yes, it's true that women have more beautiful standards placed on them than women, but invalidating the feelings of one group entirely really isnt the way to go. The people you're talking about mainly seem like incels.

Yes, it's frustrating to be told that you're "too old and gross and nobody want you". But it's not true. OP, there is a lot of beauty in the world, and don't let the opinions of incels make you doubt that.

 

[Ampsvx123]

Considering that the overwhelming majority of men are pure selfish unclean filth, count your blessings, for ogres, trolls and pigs roam this rotten earth. Be not in a hurry for true love, here the odds are not in your favor, love shall come tomorrow or some other day, far from here, by some misty realm, beyond the scope of any sun.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

As a woman, I'm ashamed to read this.

I don't know who hurt or rejected you so much that you feel the need to leech out in this way, but there are lots of decent guys out there who don't give a fuck about super model looks.

You can't put all man in the same corner.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

As someone who is about to turn 25 and wants to CTB because of it (and other factors, but age is definitely one of them) this is the wackest take I've seen. Flip the genders and realize it goes both ways. Women can get plastic surgery. Women can have unattainably high standards. Women can rule men out just by age alone. Loneliness is universal. Men's feelings shouldnt be invalidated just because theyre men. Everyone can be lonely. Everyone can be superficial and vain. This take is very dumb.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Oh yes and that's probably why most of the suicides are done by male people.
Probably all tired to be forced to have such a nice life, dang.

 

[vitbar]

My last crush was over 30. The lonliness is kind of my fault though; Social anxiety is a bastard.

 

[ButterToast]

I'm sick of hearing about how "lonely" they feel when it's their own damn fault and the incredibly high standards they have for women. As a woman over the age of 25 I'm seen as inherently unattractive and infertile by men. I'm literally doomed to never experience love and relationships because of a number. A 30 year old can be the most beautiful woman in the world but men won't want her because she is over 25 and "postwall". All they care about is the number. A man can work hard and become rich, they can even get surgery to increase their penis size and height and they can be loved at any age. But for women, there is nothing that will turn back the clock and make her under 25. Age is an impossible standard to overcome.
Male "loneliness" will never come close to what women feel after they get discarded on their 25th birthday. So if you feel "lonely" as a male shut the fuck up and do something about it. Date a fat woman. Date a middle aged woman. Date an ugly woman. (Actually date her pump and dump doesn't count.) Just grow up, man up, and get over the immature irrational standards you have for women.
The best part of suicide is that I'll never have to interact with those people again or hear the ridiculous things they say about women again. They make living and enjoying life as a woman impossible.

i'd say this is a mix of online incel thing which doesn't help anyone at all. Most normal men (not idiots on the internet) are fine with women who are 25+ I have friends who get married to a handsome and successful dude in her 30s. I think most of those points are online incel talking points which does not reflect irl well. Yes, the 'value' of women is less the older she gets, but that's the same as men who make low wage being less attractive. I'd argue that both views have a small kernel of truth but often overblown on the internet which isn't good. I've seen women in her late 20s that aren't super sexy find a good man. And men that doesn't make a ton of money and aren't ripped getting married to good women.

Everyone has an 'ideal', and ofc that ideal is what everyone wants, but the reality is that most people are willing to compromise since 1) people understand that the average person isn't gonna marry a super model or a billionaire, (2) as people grow, they understand that relationship isn't just about looks and resources, (3) most people are normal and are perfectly fine with other normal humans. Materialistic world isn't great and it's sad we're heading here, but these standard goes both ways and either way it's not good.

I understand your frustration and opinion, but I'd like to highlight that although this idea contains some kernel of truth, it's not exactly representative of reality or most people, unless you're coming from a specific culture, like china that pretty much sh*t on single women in her 30s. Argument can be made for and against men and women, but it's not exactly productive and won't get us anywhere. In most parts of the world, 25 is fine for women. If we're talking about looks or resources, those are sadly universal, but again, it's not an iron fist. If anything, most women I know get married around mid 20s to early 30s, with some even at her 40s. It can be hard, very hard for anyone. But welcome to life, and i think we understand why all of us are in this website. Because, life.

 

[R_N]

I am grateful this place is unlike reddit and such where views like these would be supported by the community echo chambers.

We don't need to minimize peoples issues just because we differ in some ways. I see a lot of members here from whom I may differ in multiple ways but it is still easy for us to communicate if we don't attack each other.

 

[tfnb]

M 40, I find my wife, 39 even more attractive than when I first met her. She works out of town on a project during the week, while I stay with the kids working in town and I feel lonely. I could "do something about it" but that would be dishonest and a betrayal.

 

[noname223]

Usually I stay away from misogyny or misandry related threads. I am a male and very lonely due to a lack of a partner.
I am not sure whether OP is a troll. Personally I don't like the competition on here who has it worse men or women in life. But this thread is totally nonsense. I cannot even take it serious. As other members explained in a polite way this is a generalization and does not reflect the reality.

If you have a severe condition or other major problems it can be pretty difficult to get a partner no matter which gender you identify with.

 

[Jezzibell]

Just remember that OP has expressed how she is feeling. Don't invalidate someone's feelings.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I feel this may of well been a bait thread it's just so low quality.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I'm sick of hearing about how "lonely" they feel when it's their own damn fault and the incredibly high standards they have for women. As a woman over the age of 25 I'm seen as inherently unattractive and infertile by men. I'm literally doomed to never experience love and relationships because of a number. A 30 year old can be the most beautiful woman in the world but men won't want her because she is over 25 and "postwall". All they care about is the number. A man can work hard and become rich, they can even get surgery to increase their penis size and height and they can be loved at any age. But for women, there is nothing that will turn back the clock and make her under 25. Age is an impossible standard to overcome.
Male "loneliness" will never come close to what women feel after they get discarded on their 25th birthday. So if you feel "lonely" as a male shut the fuck up and do something about it. Date a fat woman. Date a middle aged woman. Date an ugly woman. (Actually date her pump and dump doesn't count.) Just grow up, man up, and get over the immature irrational standards you have for women.
The best part of suicide is that I'll never have to interact with those people again or hear the ridiculous things they say about women again. They make living and enjoying life as a woman impossible.

You can be with someone and still feel lonely. You can be 7 or 77, male or female. It's a state of mind.

Sounds like you've met some real losers in terms of guys who have informed your current views, but there are plenty of amazing ones out there too.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I honestly can't wait to ctb. And forget about all this women thing. This reality. Body.humiliation.all of it. I wish I was a man (equally strong so I can defend myself both physically and emotionally) but I'm not. Therefore. It's better when I never existed

Not every man is physically strong you realize that right? I never got this whole of generalizing men as all being physically strong or not having body issues. I'm very skinny and a much larger women could decimate me lol. Male on male violence is very high also, as just as much as women are victims or violence of men so are men. Also, most men are not "emotionally strong" whatever that means. There's as many strong emotionally men as there's women out there and if you have enough real life experience I think you'd realize that. Testosterone obviously gives men an edge mentality (and physically) but it's not everything and if you really wanted to you could take T too. *shrug* I think women tend to be a lot more emotionally healthy as they're open emotionally and are much more widely accepted by society in my opinion. Being a loser as a man is really humiliating. because people will treat like you a punching bag and no one will bat an eye about it. Just again, my opinion and it wouldn't surprise me if someone had a female perspective on the same issue.

 

[MiMif]

I'm sorry op went through this but I could say the same for woman.
Woman say they're lonely but they don't take the ugly guys or poor guys....as a matter of fact alot of woman say do not settle.
I'm a woman btw.

It goes for both genders....op you sound sexist I'm ngl I think you should widen you frame of view. I hate when men say woman don't have any problems but your doing the same thing to men.
I'm sorry for what you went through but no need to be sexist to others.

I also think personally someone shouldn't settle...if you settle the relationship will be drained and inevitably come to an awful end. Find someone who doesn't feel the need to settle when they see you. Find someone who really loves you for you and thinks you are beautiful just the way you are. Beauty is more then just the outside.

As a matter of fact you could even try asking a guy out. Though don't ask someone out just to ask them out do it because you actually like them.

Though then again I can't talk cause I'm pretty much asexual and have never been in a relationship in my life and am frankly not interested in being in a relationship. ..though from what I've seen from my friends and people around me this is the knowledge I've gathered.