Discussion Why I came here

[downndone]

For me personally, I didn't come here to figure out how. How is easy. There are probably dozens of ways to CTB if that's what we really want. I came here to sort out the feelings and get some perspective. In an odd way, it's helpful to know that I'm not alone. We all have different reasons for wanting to CTB and I think it's important to understand them.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

We all have our reasons why we joined this community. This site is what you make of it. Some people come here to be heard. Others are researching methods. I think it is important to ask yourself how you feel about your own suicide and to sort out your feelings before ctb. But I understand that is a luxury that some people do not have.

If there is something bothering you, feel free to share. We are good listeners and are basically in the same boat, even if our reasons may be different.

 

[steviewonder]

In the words of ksi: we are all equal. We enter as babies, and leave as death. We are all 0 in the end. This is true no matter what life we've lived whether it's celebrity of peasant.

 

[Someone123]

For me personally, I didn't come here to figure out how. How is easy. There are probably dozens of ways to CTB if that's what we really want. I came here to sort out the feelings and get some perspective. In an odd way, it's helpful to know that I'm not alone. We all have different reasons for wanting to CTB and I think it's important to understand them.

A lot of people do want to discuss methods so that it will work, but I understand the mods have to do what they can to save the site- these are not easy judgement calls to make.

 

[Snake of Eden]

In the words of ksi: we are all equal. We enter as babies, and leave as death. We are all 0 in the end. This is true no matter what life we've lived whether it's celebrity of peasant.

Thats why I called myself zero-or-nothing because thats what I was, what I am and what I will be

 

[tesen]

same here, i came back after 2 years bc i don't feel so strange with my thoughts here. the people irl are creeped out if u tell them abt your death thoughts and stuff and i totally understand. but that's why it broke my heart after i thought the site already vanished because i felt so alone with my thoughts again. ss is a safe place for many...hopefully it stays that way

 

[LookieLou]

I'm 64. i have a disease that'll kill me in under 3 years. ive told people I'm not brave enough to wait with a clear mind for complete paralysis that'll shut my lungs down. My best friends told me they wanted me in their lives and ghosted me. I miss them terribly but understand their fear of getting hurt. I've lived a full life and there's nothing on my bucket list — I did it all, luckily before I got sick. My older sister understands after many hours of discussion, even though it will be difficult for her. But she's bossy and a know-it-all and could change her mind and think there's a treatment out there so I can't ask her to be my health surrogate. I'm afraid something will happen that'll make me legally or medically able to make my own decisions.

My lawyer says I can refuse any medical treatment at any time. Anyone thought of getting a tattoo that indicates their wishes? Where would you put it? What would it say?

 

[Noctis]

I'm 64. i have a disease that'll kill me in under 3 years. ive told people I'm not brave enough to wait with a clear mind for complete paralysis that'll shut my lungs down. My best friends told me they wanted me in their lives and ghosted me. I miss them terribly but understand their fear of getting hurt. I've lived a full life and there's nothing on my bucket list — I did it all, luckily before I got sick. My older sister understands after many hours of discussion, even though it will be difficult for her. But she's bossy and a know-it-all and could change her mind and think there's a treatment out there so I can't ask her to be my health surrogate. I'm afraid something will happen that'll make me legally or medically able to make my own decisions.

My lawyer says I can refuse any medical treatment at any time. Anyone thought of getting a tattoo that indicates their wishes? Where would you put it? What would it say?

The first place medical responders look is the wrist, since people prone to seizures or other issues wear a bracelet with their health information. So, I'd get it on the wrist.

Maybe big bold letters that say "DNR" (for Do Not Resuscitate), and below that a phrase like "Means mind ya business"

 

[LookieLou]

The first place medical responders look is the wrist, since people prone to seizures or other issues wear a bracelet with their health information. So, I'd get it on the wrist.

Maybe big bold letters that say "DNR" (for Do Not Resuscitate), and below that a phrase like "Means mind ya business"

Thinking of tattooing my signature and the date I had it tattooed too.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think for many people it can be helpful to have a place where you can talk openly about suicide without hearing toxic positivity and platitudes. In this society, suicide is still so stigmatised. Our right to die should always be respected. I wish you the best.

 

[Petunia]

For me personally, I didn't come here to figure out how. How is easy. There are probably dozens of ways to CTB if that's what we really want. I came here to sort out the feelings and get some perspective. In an odd way, it's helpful to know that I'm not alone. We all have different reasons for wanting to CTB and I think it's important to understand them.

I came because I don't want to be anymore. I'm not sure what I thought this space would do but I was actually intrigued when I heard about it. Now I don't know how to participate, this seems harder than I thought. So many acronyms.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Nice to have you and everyone else here. As someone coming from failed attempts, it brings me hope the information in these forums will only help me out.

I came because I don't want to be anymore. I'm not sure what I thought this space would do but I was actually intrigued when I heard about it. Now I don't know how to participate, this seems harder than I thought. So many acronyms.

I'm still uncertain on some acronyms as well, but if in doubt, just post a topic and I'm sure people will chime in to help or contribute what they know. I think these forums can be what you make of them and I hope you're able to have a good experience however you decide to use them going forward.

 

[Petunia]

For me personally, I didn't come here to figure out how. How is easy. There are probably dozens of ways to CTB if that's what we really want. I came here to sort out the feelings and get some perspective. In an odd way, it's helpful to know that I'm not alone. We all have different reasons for wanting to CTB and I think it's important to understand them.

Are you still here? Does understanding why you don't want to be actually help?

 

[nowayout*]

Are you still here? Does understanding why you don't want to be actually help?

They were last seen January 17th.

 

[Interloper]

They were last seen January 17th.

There's a user called @downndone2, maybe they lost access to the first account or something

 

[downndone2]

I'm still here...

Are you still here? Does understanding why you don't want to be actually help?

It is hard, the difference between not wanting to be and that little fight left in me. I know I have to hold out until my 2 yr suicide clause is over. I cant cbt, leave my grown kids with my mess I've made to clean up, and be stuck waiting on life insurance money or not getting life insurance money. With the plan i have, it is usually a long wait if you die within 2 yrs of the policy starting and it wont oay out due to suicide in the first 2 years. I'm stuck until early 2023, everyone is stuck with me unless i naturally just die. The stress and other stuff is so much, maybe that will happen. My kids would still wait I'm sure for months if that happens before the contestability 2 yr period is over.