Venting Why i am not good at anything?

[catbunny]

I personally think that I know why.
It is because I have never in my life tried to do it. It is either I did it so hard or I just ignored it. I never actually tried to be good at it. I didn't try to do it properly.
Why?
I dont know. Maybe because I dont have a reason to be. I dont have the urge, the courage or anything. I just did it because everyone else did it, so I can fit in. Not because I want to. I dont want to do anything. I want to fucking die.
Im so lost. Blind. Pointless. Useless.
Its so exhausting to be living like this everyday. I want to change but I dont want to at the same time because like why? I will die anyway.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Same. I gave a little effort to a few pursuits when I was a teenager but daydreaming and internet scrolling (self-education, I told myself) soon took over. I can't think of a good thing that happened to me after 20. I'm 36.

 

[tonicer]

Same here. I studied because it's what you do. It took a lot out of me. Now i look for a job because that's what you do. I feel like shit because i can't get a job. I go to job interviews and get declined time and time again. I am starting to think that i never had a chance at life. Don't even get me started on love. I fell in love multiple times but due to my curse no girl and later woman wanted anything to do with me. Now i just continue living because my mother is still alive.

 

[catbunny]

Same. I gave a little effort to a few pursuits when I was a teenager but daydreaming and internet scrolling (self-education, I told myself) soon took over. I can't think of a good thing that happened to me after 20. I'm 36.

Yeah. I cant even remember when is last time I feel passionate about something

Same here. I studied because it's what you do. It took a lot out of me. Now i look for a job because that's what you do. I feel like shit because i can't get a job. I go to job interviews and get declined time and time again. I am starting to think that i never had a chance at life. Don't even get me started on love. I fell in love multiple times but due to my curse no girl and later woman wanted anything to do with me. Now i just continue living because my mother is still alive.

Real. I get a job just because thats what people normally do at this age. I hate the job and everything about it. But I don't want to be jobless at the same time. It just feels weird. Also, love is sucks. I dont realy feel attracted by anyone anymore, I fear. No one seems to understand the concept of me being depressed since I have been appearing as being "a cute nonchalant person that being silly around you". (Not my words and idk why tf they call me that). They just like the idea, the concept, their imagination of me. Not the real me. Not the one who cry at 3Am while trying to comfort themselves from the panic and anxiety by listening twinkle little star