Venting Why has god made me like this

[Myra_Toast]

I always run away from anything good in my life and destroy it and I only have myself to blame. I ghost and abandon people and idk why. Why do I have to do this to myself, every time I try to improve something bad happens again, it's shit. God fucking hates me

 

[MrDarkness]

Bro reading this is like reading myself, every time someone cares about me I ghost them to prevent them from seeing me at my lowest, I constantly say stupid shit and ruin friendships, god fucking hates me, he gave me a curse, I want my memories of my past to go away so badly

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm borderline personality disorder, and I am incredibly insecure.
I push people away because I am scared of future abandonment .
I'm a classic sufferer of the push-pull thinking that comes with bpd.

 

[Aya&Dazy]

Same . . . I push people away. I've no one so no one can hurt me.
Only me can hurt myself. Sorry not my mother language.

 

[sulli]

relatable i think about this quote every day of my life

 

[The anhedonic one]

Same . . . I push people away. I've no one so no one can hurt me.
Only me can hurt myself. Sorry not my mother language.

I'm glad Im not alone in this.
Yet at the same time I'm so sorry you are going through this too.

relatable i think about this quote every day of my life

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Wow ! This is a very profound quote. I'm definitely going to remember this one.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really doubt there could ever be a God, existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason with no deeper purpose, I see the existence of life as being a horrific tragedy.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

I always run away from anything good in my life and destroy it and I only have myself to blame. I ghost and abandon people and idk why. Why do I have to do this to myself, every time I try to improve something bad happens again, it's shit. God fucking hates me

Relatable when I am too close to someone I cut them off so quick I really wanna know the meaning behind this

 

[Myra_Toast]

I really doubt there could ever be a God, existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason with no deeper purpose, I see the existence of life as being a horrific tragedy.

Honestly, I never really believed in him, but he's all the hope I've got, and if he does exist I hope he knows he doesn't deserve all the good things people have said about him, he's caused so much traged. But, I really hope there's nothing in the afterlife, it's just nothing and finally peace

 

[cscott]

I really doubt there could ever be a God, existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason with no deeper purpose, I see the existence of life as being a horrific tragedy.

Do you think about just ending it all ?

 

[Myra_Toast]

Do you think about just ending it all ?

Not really, I think about harming myself though, it's really hard to resist the urges sometimes. I don't really intend on cbt,but I sometimes really wish my previous attempts worked

 

[cscott]

Is anyone looking for a Suicide partner ?

 

[SexyIncél]

Is anyone looking for a Suicide partner ?

Hmm, this is more suitable for the partners megathread, you'll have better luck there

 

[Knbmt]

If God exists in this world, I think he is very incompetent and unfair.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

I don't per say believe in god but more so the universe as god?(it's a lot to explain/too tired rn but similar beliefs in a sense) but same.. lately I've been wondering why the universe gave me so much struggle, sickness etc... I used to think well life just happens how it happens but now I'm really wondering why...

 

[San_Miguel]

I always run away from anything good in my life and destroy it and I only have myself to blame. I ghost and abandon people and idk why. Why do I have to do this to myself, every time I try to improve something bad happens again, it's shit. God fucking hates me

Hi Myra,

The good news is if you believe in God, that's a good start. I promise he doesn't hate you, because he's incapable of hate. He is the source of Love itself, and he loves you unconditionally. All he wants is for you to love Him back. Even though friends and family can make us happy at times, nothing will ever make you happier than working on your relationship with God.

There have been (and still are) people who devote their whole lives to living in silence and solitude, just praying to God and meditating on His great mysteries. I'm not necessarily suggesting you go and do that, but you should know that God gives each of us various strengths that allow us to Love him in our own unique ways. If you struggle maintaining relationships with others, maybe try focusing for a bit on your relationship with Christ. For many, getting to know God through his Son Jesus allows them to see their own inner beauty much more clearly.

Remember, God loves you and just wants you to love Him back. Read the Gospels, get to know Christ, and just focus on loving God.

I'm here for you, and you are dearly loved!