Why has everyone i trusted betrayed me in the end?

[kirua]

I have been on this platform for a while but haven't made any posts and this will be my first post. I don't know why but everyone person who i have trusted has betrayed me in some way or the other. I had been raised at a completely different area and I had to shift during lockdown and loose all sense of contact with anyone. After covid, everytine i tried to trust someone i ended up getting used and betrayed cause these fucking bustards don't have a place for a new guy to join em in and be toxic to them. In my school as well i have had the same feeling. I have been falling behind everyone and people only help my case by becoming egoist and getting their attitude. This generation has become toxic with basically no good person left or even if there is, I can't meet them and how hard wud have this Been if there wasn't a stupid virus. I USED to believe to be the reason why people believe in good but now there is no good in here. This place is a complete hell and I would rather prefer dying. Everyone is so fake and toxic with your disabilities and ur weaknesses that they force you into depression. Witb everyone trying to be cool now and getting attention of their crush. Recently my friend also commited suicide the very one who was the first to betray me over a girl. Is there anything I can do to recover from this? I hardly speak anything in my life and have become an total introvert. I can't help but think of my life when I was an extrovert. I used to have a crush but then she shifted far away. I couldn't see her again. I was taken away from the only people I had in my life driving covid. I would be really grateful if I can get a few tips for recovery

 

[IBM0000]

I can give you an endless and dizzying array of anti-suicide bs, but the fundamental problem is how society is structured. You can never solve this problem without societal uprooting and rebuilding into a fairer one. I can't promise you will be happy in a system designed for only the rich, but I hope you remember the times you have lost. They may be essential in helping you move on, even if they're very painful to remember. I found it theraputic to post and talk on this site about the terrible things I have done which I still desreve to die for them.

 

[Princess_Kitty]

I'm sorry for what you're dealing with. It's total bs the way society is. You can find those who won't betray you and will be there for you no matter what but, it's rare. I've learned this the hard way. I've learned to just stick to myself and try not to trust nobody. Those who betray you will get their karma though, always happens. They'll realize what they lost in the end. *Hugs*

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sadly, I've found that you simply can't rely on people. Expect everyone to be a fair weather friend and you won't get disappointed. It's a cynical way to look at it but I see most friendships/ relationships as a process of exchange. Each person sees something in the other that they need. If their needs change. If those needs get met by other, more compatible people- I think people do just move on. It's sad but I've experienced it a lot. Most of us are out for ourselves at the end of the day. Sorry- you're likely to get pessimistic answers in this section! If you want recovery advice- I suggest you post in the 'Recovery' forum too. People there may be more optimistic! Welcome to the forum though.

 

[doneforlife]

Sadly, I've found that you simply can't rely on people. Expect everyone to be a fair weather friend and you won't get disappointed. It's a cynical way to look at it but I see most friendships/ relationships as a process of exchange. Each person sees something in the other that they need. If their needs change. If those needs get met by other, more compatible people- I think people do just move on. It's sad but I've experienced it a lot. Most of us are out for ourselves at the end of the day. Sorry- you're likely to get pessimistic answers in this section! If you want recovery advice- I suggest you post in the 'Recovery' forum too. People there may be more optimistic! Welcome to the forum though.

This. I can't even begin to describe how devastating this is. And people are cold. I don't even know how they do this. If you are happy when in solitude, I h'd say , continue that way . It shall go a long way.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This. I can't even begin to describe how devastating this is. And people are cold. I don't even know how they do this. If you are happy when in solitude, I h'd say , continue that way . It shall go a long way.

Yeah. I am quite lucky in that I am actually ok on my own. Sometimes though, I'm stupid enough to believe I'm becomming really good friends with someone again and it feels so nice until- the inevitable let down. It's so hard to keep distance if you are an open, enthusiastic person but I've realised- that's the safest way to be. I'm like it with work too. The very worst I've felt is when I've got excited about a project and it's all fallen through.

Have you ever heard of: 'The Maybe Story' about a Chinese Farmer:

'Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, "We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate." The farmer said, "Maybe."

The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, "Oh, isn't that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!" The farmer again said, "Maybe."

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, "Oh dear, that's too bad," and the farmer responded, "Maybe."

The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, "Isn't that great!" Again, he said, "Maybe."'

Source: https://matterco.co/the-maybe-story/

I think it's kind of sad because it means we can never get all that excited about things but, it's probably the best way to be- don't see anything as particularly good or bad. Mostly- don't trust things or people till the whole thing has played out. The amount of times I've looked forward to something planned with a friend or something work related and it fell through. It would have been better if I'd thought- that sounds nice but it may well not happen, so I'll maybe just wait and see before becoming attached to it. That's the sad thing really- if you can't bear to lose attachments- don't make them.

 

[doneforlife]

Yeah. I am quite lucky in that I am actually ok on my own. Sometimes though, I'm stupid enough to believe I'm becomming really good friends with someone again and it feels so nice until- the inevitable let down. It's so hard to keep distance if you are an open, enthusiastic person but I've realised- that's the safest way to be. I'm like it with work too. The very worst I've felt is when I've got excited about a project and it's all fallen through.

Have you ever heard of: 'The Maybe Story' about a Chinese Farmer:

'Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, "We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate." The farmer said, "Maybe."

The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, "Oh, isn't that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!" The farmer again said, "Maybe."

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, "Oh dear, that's too bad," and the farmer responded, "Maybe."

The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, "Isn't that great!" Again, he said, "Maybe."'

Source: https://matterco.co/the-maybe-story/

I think it's kind of sad because it means we can never get all that excited about things but, it's probably the best way to be- don't see anything as particularly good or bad. Mostly- don't trust things or people till the whole thing has played out. The amount of times I've looked forward to something planned with a friend or something work related and it fell through. It would have been better if I'd thought- that sounds nice but it may well not happen, so I'll maybe just wait and see before becoming attached to it. That's the sad thing really- if you can't bear to lose attachments- don't make them.

Thanks for sharing. No I had never heard about this "may be" story. It is not even attachment. Just normal courtesy. But sadly people don't even have that. Keeping in touch is really not that difficult in the information age unless you really don't want to.

 

[SecretDissociation]

People simply suck and have no sense of altruism. I've gone through the same thing. People in school would only come to me, act friendly then ask for help with something. When I'd try to socialise with them they'd say stuff behind my back then act friendly with me but they knew I knew. When I'd tell them my feelings they'd spread it to their other friends like what I told them was a stable. Selfishness and FOMO is a disease in this society. My "friend" when I inquired about why people leave me said its because I have a face that is easy to betray. Like it's my fault for the toxic behaviour of others. It's truly an enigma and I would just chalk it out to life being unlucky. Or maybe people can sense something, but even that doesn't excuse what you've been through. <3

 

[Silo2938]

yea, happen to me as well. when i graduated from high school, my family cannot afford me college tuition fee. so some family said they wanna help me go to college and get me a job when i graduated from college. the reality is they just want cheap way to get her house chore done and have someone to guard their house. yes they pay my tuition but only if i stay in their house 24/7 and only let me go out when i have emergency situation like family member pass away or sick. during 6 year ( 1 year after high school + 4 years during college + 1 year after college) in that house i have no friend, i cannot go out to hang out. and during that time i broken up with my gf, i cannot she her, meet her. (since my broke up i am become chain smoker, drink alcohol, contemplate to suicide). after college graduation they broke their promise to get me a job. i served that family 6 fucking years. yes human are cruel, ignorant bastard. i fucking hate this life

 

[casual_existence]

You're going about this all wrong. People aren't shitty you're just bad at analyzing people and situations. Which is fine most people are bad at it because nobody teaches you this stuff.

There's multiple ways of looking at this but one thing you can consider is to measure your expectations. One breach of trust should be balanced out by about 3 acts of trust. Also don't expect too much from people. We're all busy trying to do our best. We live in a competitive society and therefore if you want to win you have to hustle. (If you don't like it you have your work cut out for you. Doable tho)

Also see what kind of people you like to be around. Chatty or funny or boring or enigmatic or worldly or religious or whatever. And hang out with those people.

And yes having a crush and getting a partner is part of our culture. Are you jealous? This is harder to work around but being comfortable with yourself is way easier than being with just some random. But if you do end up with just anyone it'll give you valuable information. Which you can analyze. This all sounds super nerdy but eh it's just a matter of perspective. Media makes us fantasize rather than just face reality.

A lot of human bullshit comes from people trying to impress their crush. It's really dumb but this is the way it is.

 

[kirua]

Thanks

You're going about this all wrong. People aren't shitty you're just bad at analyzing people and situations. Which is fine most people are bad at it because nobody teaches you this stuff.

There's multiple ways of looking at this but one thing you can consider is to measure your expectations. One breach of trust should be balanced out by about 3 acts of trust. Also don't expect too much from people. We're all busy trying to do our best. We live in a competitive society and therefore if you want to win you have to hustle. (If you don't like it you have your work cut out for you. Doable tho)

Also see what kind of people you like to be around. Chatty or funny or boring or enigmatic or worldly or religious or whatever. And hang out with those people.

And yes having a crush and getting a partner is part of our culture. Are you jealous? This is harder to work around but being comfortable with yourself is way easier than being with just some random. But if you do end up with just anyone it'll give you valuable information. Which you can analyze. This all sounds super nerdy but eh it's just a matter of perspective. Media makes us fantasize rather than just face reality.

A lot of human bullshit comes from people trying to impress their crush. It's really dumb but this is the way it is.