Discussion Why good people suffer more?

[onlyanimalsaregood]

In the back of my mind I always had the feeling that good people often suffer more than the rest. Maybe it has to be with the fact that they are more sensitive? That they don't see right away the bad in people, only good? That they are easy to take advantage? In fact, in some situations seems to me that bad people are luckier and have a better life than good people, which is not fair at all. But life itself is not fair either. What good people are suppose to do to live in this world? Never trust in another human being never again? What do you think? Do you believe in karma? I have mix feelings about that.

 

[makethepainstop]

It sure seems sometimes that evil people have lives of joy.

 

[Alayna]

Idk I see what you're saying in terms of sensitivity and there's surely truth to it, but I'm not sure if it's a completely general rule. Bad people often make decisions that result in negative consequences for them (although of course they often do get away scott-free). While goodness is often (although of course not always) socially rewarded.

What is obviously 100% true is that good people are not rewarded proportionally to their actions, while bad people are not punished proportionally to their actions. So in that sense I think karma only really works if you believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. Here on earth goodness is not rewarded as much as it should be (if indeed it is). There's a hell of a lot of randomness involved in deciding who has to suffer.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

It sure seems sometimes that evil people have lives of joy.

Maybe has to do with their lack of empathy and self-centred.

What is obviously 100% true is that good people are not rewarded proportionally to their actions, while bad people are not punished proportionally to their actions

I totally agree. It's sad to watch because that's why some good people isolate themselves or lost hope in society. Like, it's really tiring put ourselves out there, treat really well someone, give our best and then be dumped like trash without doing anything wrong.

 

[Celerity]

Yeah, it's because they're easier to take advantage of. If you do the right thing for its own sake, not merely to gain the trust of others, you can sacrifice a lot with little recompense and even find yourself at odds with people who do not want to be constrained by a conscience. To put it more simply, selfish assholes will do whatever it takes to get their way, and God help you if you get in their way. Living a virtuous life definitely does not guarantee happiness.

Yesterday, after a real Karen of a woman went out of her way to humiliate me in front of a long line of customers, I thought about how highly people prize wordplay and keeping cool under pressure in their leaders. I guess it's nice to know that the person in charge is calmer than you and making decisions with a cool head, but you know which kinds of people rarely get tongue-tied and are often talented in the cruelest forms of wit? Narcissists and psychopaths. Anxiety doesn't touch them like it does the average person, and they love dominating people to meet their goals. I don't think humanity will ever get past the instinct to admire such people and select them as our leaders; it is a fundamental flaw in our psyche to elevate such dangerous people.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Yeah, it's because they're easier to take advantage of. If you do the right thing for its own sake, not merely to gain the trust of others, you can sacrifice a lot with little recompense and even find yourself at odds with people who do not want to be constrained by a conscience. To put it more simply, selfish assholes will do whatever it takes to get their way, and God help you if you get in their way. Living a virtuous life definitely does not guarantee happiness.

Yesterday, after a real Karen of a woman went out of her way to humiliate me in front of a long line of customers, I thought about how highly people prize wordplay and keeping cool under pressure in their leaders. I guess it's nice to know that the person in charge is calmer than you and making decisions with a cool head, but you know which kinds of people rarely get tongue-tied and are often talented in the cruelest forms of wit? Narcissists and psychopaths. Anxiety doesn't touch them like it does the average person, and they love dominating people to meet their goals. I don't think humanity will ever get past the instinct to admire such people and select them as our leaders; it is a fundamental flaw in our psyche to elevate such dangerous people.

I agree. I think is very hard to good people find something that protect them for being hurt so easily without loosing their essence as a good human being but the other way is no solution either.
I know. And we have a lot of examples of narcissistic leader's in the world unfortunately. That is a example that exist a lot of bad people in this world.
I agree with these ideas:
"The very first reason, in my view, is that people with good hearts always feel others are good. They trust people easily...that's simply because they feel everyone is as good-hearted as they themselves are. But then, the world isn't that nice.
Secondly, SENSITIVE. Good-hearted people, for the same reason, are mostly very sensitive. They are always good to others, and hence they expect the same behaviour from others towards them....This doesn't happen everytime...and they end up getting hurt.

 

[Celerity]

I agree. I think is very hard to good people find something that protect them for being hurt so easily without loosing their essence as a good human being but the other way is no solution either.
I know. And we have a lot of examples of narcissistic leader's in the world unfortunately. That is a example that exist a lot of bad people in this world.
I agree with these ideas:
"The very first reason, in my view, is that people with good hearts always feel others are good. They trust people easily...that's simply because they feel everyone is as good-hearted as they themselves are. But then, the world isn't that nice.
Secondly, SENSITIVE. Good-hearted people, for the same reason, are mostly very sensitive. They are always good to others, and hence they expect the same behaviour from others towards them....This doesn't happen everytime...and they end up getting hurt.

Idk. I think you can be a good person with a healthy dose of cynicism, but it is true that trusting people are hurt the most by others.

 

[Pluto]

It would be more helpful to say 'selfish' and 'empathic' rather than 'bad' or 'good'. Everyone has a bit of both, though there are some who are mostly one extreme or another.

Being selfish (egocentric, narcissistic, callous) has to achieve better results for self-interest because all resources are focused on that single goal. And regardless of their material success, I do not envy people stuck in pre-school levels of emotional maturity. At the opposite extreme, feeling the suffering of the world and trying to save everyone has to mean dismal failure, so this tendency needs to be moderated.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

They're more prone to manipulation, yet this isn't always due to their personality.
It's more about how they act on a daily basis; if you're outwardly friendly, people will pick up on that and take advantage of any vulnerabilities that presents.

Imagine the scam emails when a "person in a foreign land needs your help."

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Idk. I think you can be a good person with a healthy dose of cynicism, but it is true that trusting people are hurt the most by others.

Yeah I agree. We can't be naive.

It would be more helpful to say 'selfish' and 'empathic' rather than 'bad' or 'good'. Everyone has a bit of both, though there are some who are mostly one extreme or another.

Being selfish (egocentric, narcissistic, callous) has to achieve better results for self-interest because all resources are focused on that single goal. And regardless of their material success, I do not envy people stuck in pre-school levels of emotional maturity. At the opposite extreme, feeling the suffering of the world and trying to save everyone has to mean dismal failure, so this tendency needs to be moderated.

As usually I really liked your approach to this subject and you're absolute right. Could you please explain a little bit more about what you wanna say with "pre-school leves of emotional maturity"? I think I got it but I just want to be sure. And indeed, we should have mechanisms to protect ourselves.

They're more prone to manipulation, yet this isn't always due to their personality.
It's more about how they act on a daily basis; if you're outwardly friendly, people will pick up on that and take advantage of any vulnerabilities that presents.

Imagine the scam emails when a "person in a foreign land needs your help."

Yeah, for me it's hard to understand why some people are just mean

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Yeah I agree. Yeah, for me it's hard to understand why some people are just mean

I find it difficult to comprehend why some individuals are so cruel. It utterly confuses me. But I can make my best guesses as to why.

Internal strife may be one factor.
Another possibility is the effects of abuse or neglect.

Unconsciously, some people also behave in that manner.
They are more likely to rationalize their behavior since they do not perceive how offensive their acts are.
I don't want to give the impression that there is always a justification for people's cruel behavior, though.
They occasionally just are.

Like, it can just be that they have a large ego sometimes.