I spent many years trying to figure out how the minds of toxic people work until January 2020 when the youtube algorithm started showing me videos of psychologists explaining Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I've watched them every day since and gotten an education. I now understand that narcissism is the true definition of clinical insanity and root of all evil. It's mind bending for decent people trying to understand it, but doing so reveals the source of a great majority of our personal struggles and the trouble in the world. It's massively complicated and too much to explain in a simple comment, so I just advise people to go watch those psychologists themselves. Search youtube for narcissism and look for actual doctors because there's all kinds of channels and a lot of them don't speak with the credibility of PhDs.
Just one symptom of narcissism is cynicism and doubt. They are liars, manipulators, and cheaters, and believe everybody else is like them because they cannot imagine any other way of thinking but their own and assume they are right about everything and CANNOT be convinced otherwise. They believe everybody constantly lies like they do and impulsively accuse you of it when you are preaching truth.
An example I give is recently watching a video of the band Slayer's first performance and a comment saying "I went to high school with Slayer's drummer and he told me he was in a band but I didn't believe him." Why would you doubt something like that? Decent people who take things seriously and believe people have a hard time understanding why some people are so full of doubt, but that's what narcissist do. They constantly doubt EVERYTHING they hear, not because they have evidence that people are lying but because they think everybody is B.S.ing because everything they say is B.S.
I struggled my entire life to understand why people constantly cast doubt on everything I say when I am a "truthteller" who avoids B.S.ing as much as possible, and now I finally understand. A LOT of people are clinically insane and the insanity is chronic negativity which honest people struggle to understand, much less even realize exists. Just know that when they doubt you will kill yourself, it isn't because they are smart reasonable people who just need convincing, but rather hopelessly lost in a psychological darkness far worse than the pain you're suffering that's making you want to kill yourself, of which doubt is just one of an endless list of terrible symptoms,. They are completely detached from reality, completely unreasonable, and will never be convinced of anything because that's how broken they are. They will convince you they're perfect and happy but it is to hide the fact that they suffer from inner turmoil rooted in self loathing from the day they're born till the day they die and are incapable of ever knowing true joy, love, or accomplishment. They are incapable of coping with this pain and thrust it onto everybody else like a hot potato just to hide from it, and this is the cause of a great deal of your pain. They are bullies, and the better person you are, the worse they abuse you, turning you against yourself, and turning others against you in the process just so that nobody ever figures out that they are actually the problem.
