Why don’t girls like me? How do I get girlfriend

[CantWait2D1E]

Title

 

[missingpeace]

Hard to give you advice without knowing you personally but the more social and talkative you are, the more you are content within your own life is what attracts people to you.. work on small steps to help yourself..

 

[DeeLuvsU]

It's hard to say, not only have we never met you but also we're all different people and there is no one way to get somebody to like you.
However one tip I can give you is just to work on yourself, go to gym or just do at home workouts to make you feel better, eat healthier, practice mental wellness. You should learn to love yourself and your surroundings before you look into any kind of meaningful relationship.
You will find somebody, no one is destined to be alone

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Hard to give you advice without knowing you personally but the more social and talkative you are, the more you are content within your own life is what attracts people to you.. work on small steps to help yourself..

Thank you for the advice. I can be social and talkative but it is not as easy as when I was younger. My days of college and what not are behind me. I am a 24yo male and I don't leave the house much besides going to the gym or out on walks. I don't know how adults are supposed to meet each other. Everyone my age is just working all the time, no time to hangout. Friends too seem impossible to find, not just a gf.

It's hard to say, not only have we never met you but also we're all different people and there is no one way to get somebody to like you.
However one tip I can give you is just to work on yourself, go to gym or just do at home workouts to make you feel better, eat healthier, practice mental wellness. You should learn to love yourself and your surroundings before you look into any kind of meaningful relationship.
You will find somebody, no one is destined to be alone

Thank you. Working out has been somewhat beneficial to me. I made a promise to myself that if nothing else, I'm going to commit to being in the best shape possible. It is the only area of self improvement I've been consistent at. While I'm no Mr olympia, I have a decent build. Many people even other men have commented on my big chest and broad shoulders. So, I don't think my physique is a problem. Nevertheless I'll continue sculpting myself. I could lose some body fat, that is my biggest area of improvement. Don't know how to eat healthier cause I never really feed myself. Thinking of starving myself for a week to see if there's any improvement. Unfortunately the gym is all I do and that's the worst place to try and talk to a girl, I've already learned this.

I know self love is key. It's just hard not to hate myself, where I am and what I've become. I'll always think I'm doomed because of my past. I really don't hate life itself but more so my life and what's become of it. I have great appreciation of nature and the beauty of the natural world.

Nightmare's thread deeply effected me. His love for his wife is the main reason he stopped his attempt. I think my only chance at recovery is if I have a woman like that on my side.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Could try joining a walking/hiking club or some club with a common interest. A guy I know married someone from Tinder, another married a girl met in a bar.

Thanks for the advice. A club is a good idea I'll have to look into more. I've been considering signing up for some of the classes my gym offers (yoga, cycling, etc.) and seeing who I might meet there. I would like to meet someone passionate in fitness. Women who take care of themselves are so beautiful

Tinder is a no go for me, never had success with it. Got matches but only like 1 or 2 first and only dates. Don't have a lot of good photos of myself. Texting skills are pretty abysmal especially with strangers. I got zero rizz

Bars are a nice suggestion. I don't drink (anymore) so being there I feel out of place. I'm just not a "stand-out" guy. Like I'm somebody if I had a shirt that matches the wallpaper behind me I'd probably wear it. Prefer blending in rather than drawing attention to myself. Too much social interaction scares me. And I think that's what people are looking for when hunting in a bar. The social butterfly

 

[chloramine]

There is no one way to get a partner because everyone is their own individual and things like attraction and relationships aren't based on "if you do x you'll get y". Obviously things like being respectful, safe, kind, etc will improve your chances, but those don't mean someone will automatically want to be in a romantic relationship.

Your best chance is just to connect with more people in general. As others have mentioned joining clubs or taking classes in things you're interested in are great ways to meet new people in general and can hopefully help you make some friends at the very least. You can care that deeply about friends as well- it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship for it to be a deep meaningful relationship. I hope you're able to find what you're looking for.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I second going to bars. At least you have a chance of meeting a real person who's local, which in and of itself is a huge deal these days. I started watching this show on Youtube called Scamfish, and it's insane how many people online are fake, scammers, OnlyFans girls etc.

Over the course of my life I've been able to fake that I'm cool, interesting and funny enough by being drunk during bar crawls. It's best to just get out of your head and be in that zone because it's all fun and short lived impressions, which is very helpful when it comes to meeting someone. With a bit of luck you'll get some numbers and have something to work with.

 

[theboy]

dating app

 

[Canon1]

I have had many beautiful girls. They all ended up doing shit on me.

 

[TooConscious]

I have lately realized human beings aren't worth the emotional torture they often cause. I wonder if people who are forever happy together are living a lie. Since love and hate are the same thing. I'm dumb so don't fully understand it but I definitely know it's based in fact. It's not a case of "love is all you need" in this hell realm.

 

[stoopid]

You could try Thailand or another asian country, it's not your fault that western society kills dreams, they brainwash women to have literally so absurdly high Standards that makes it impossible for most men to find a long term relationship. Especially if you have some kind of anxiety, im pretty well build had most of the year a 6pack and stuff and only got random dudes on IG asking for feet pics. None is to blame at this stage of civilisation. Maybe get a Hobby that drives confidence and meet someone after that. Love on first view is pretty rare so there need to be some "entrance" like same interests or something that makes you interesting for the other person.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Dont try to get a girlfriend to save you from your problems because you think she will love unconditionally. When she breaks your heart you will just get much worse. A girlfriend expects something from you, not just going in to be your therapist.

 

[Abadoned_Me]

i mean if you cant find any irl girls who are interested, you could try online dating?
its not as fun cuz you cant physically touch the person unless you meet up irl
but ive been in a few online relationships and there nice!

 

[CantWait2D1E]

I thank everyone for the replies and suggestions. I am going to send photos of my face and my physique. Can anyone tell me if I'm ugly/fat etc? Because I think I am but I don't know if that's the dysmorphia talking or not

 

[arcadia]

you're not fat and your face looks fine imo. far from looking ugly to me

 

[Beeko]

You're not fat nor ugly, I think quite the opposite.
A way to work on your mental image of yourself is to basically "joke" about how good looking you are.

Basically do the opposite of self deprecating humor and eventually your confidence starts to build up significantly.
I did this for awhile when I thought I looked terrible and eventually with this method I started to think I was good looking and developed more confidence in myself and started getting a much better mental image of myself.

Which has helped me greatly for the most part.

 

[toro]

im in the same boat! im a 18 y/o female and its difficult for me too, even though we are in different situations. i agree with you on the not knowing how to make friends as an adult thing, its so hard to bond with anyone now that we arent being shuffled into one small classroom with eachother HAHA

looking at the pictures you posted, youre cute, youd do fine in getting a gf or friends if you put yourself out more, obviously, i dont know much about your personality, so like you could be a raging racist or homophobe (isnt very charming), but im operating on the idea that youre just a normal, kind of awkward guy lol. its tough, but look at bars or even online dating apps, youre cute and you could find someone easily if you tried putting yourself out there more, online dating is less time commitment and gives you an opportunity to create a schedule rather than going of on spontaneity, which works better for busier people :)

like other people have said though, dating wont fix all your problems, and girls arent just hollow shells to project onto, if youre gonna get into a relationship you do need to accept that she has her own needs and boundaries, and some of those will restrict what she is OK with you doing or saying (like constant negativity, its expected that a partner is someone you confide in, but theres a difference between venting and 'ill kill myself if you break up with me'), not saying youd be that kind of guy! its just a trap a lot of young, depressed men fall into, and as a girl that has known guys like that, we are willing to listen so long as its not manipulative.

not every woman is going to be kind, just as not every man is. there are going to be relationships that make you feel even worse, but dont let that dampen your views on women as a whole, its a very scary pipeline to fall into:( you pick yourself back up and keep looking, or take time to yourself and let it heal !!!

mental support for men isnt the best or the most accessible, so i understand where youre coming from, i feel the same way to be honest, but i know that being in a relationship isnt going to inherently save my life, and you should too.

 

[ChiseHatori]

Just be nice, patient, and don't be desperate. These are the three key elements. In my opinion, you'd be very lucky to find someone with all three - or even at least attempts to be all three. And don't force anything with someone you aren't sure of. Honestly, don't force anything at all. If you like them, it will likely click. It's obviously best to date someone you have a lot in common with, or you'll struggle a lot to keep it long lasting. Hope this helps a bit. I'm not amazing at advice myself.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

If I could go back to your age I'd like to have tried jiu Jitsu or muay thai classes for confidence. So much technique to lose yourself in and I would have forced been interact with people. Social anxiety stopped me doing it.

Another great suggestion, thanks. Combat sports have always been interesting to me but I always perceived myself as too weak or not athletic enough for them. They'd definitely be a confidence booster if I got good at them, plus useful skills to have in emergency situations. I'll look more into it. Social anxiety is hard to overcome I have it too. Are you a fighter now?

You could try Thailand or another asian country, it's not your fault that western society kills dreams, they brainwash women to have literally so absurdly high Standards that makes it impossible for most men to find a long term relationship. Especially if you have some kind of anxiety, im pretty well build had most of the year a 6pack and stuff and only got random dudes on IG asking for feet pics. None is to blame at this stage of civilisation. Maybe get a Hobby that drives confidence and meet someone after that. Love on first view is pretty rare so there need to be some "entrance" like same interests or something that makes you interesting for the other person.

Interesting advice. Two of my uncles married asian women they met overseas, so I think there is some validity to what you're saying. Just don't really have the funds to be traveling halfway round the world right now and don't know of any careers where travel like that is possible. Yes, there is something about western women these days. I saw a clip of a podcast interviewing OF models and they were saying their ideal man is make 200k plus a year. So not even doctors/lawyers are enough for them. I live in an affluent area of the U.S so even the expectations of the "average" girls here are quite high. Average meaning income and social status not just looks.

Dont try to get a girlfriend to save you from your problems because you think she will love unconditionally. When she breaks your heart you will just get much worse. A girlfriend expects something from you, not just going in to be your therapist.

It's a lot to expect out of a girlfriend, yes. I'm understanding that too. You are right about expectations, basically everything in life can be described as a simple transaction. I give you this in exchange for this. But a girlfriend that maybe might lead to a wife is something different. After reading nightmare's story I am a believer again that women can love you unconditionally and despite your depression. Even stepping up in being the bread winner for you. I've had my heart broken plenty of times so now I just wanna push through that and keep trying til I find the right one, I guess.

@throwawayArcadia @SushiiTone ty for the kind words :)
@toro ty for the kind words. Yes I guess I'm "normal" in the sense I'm not full of hatred and bigotry lol. People tell me I'm sweet even on here. Just very very shy and awkward like you suggest. :) Putting myself out there is key. It's just when I get to peak me and get rejected it really stings. Like accidently resting your hand on a stovetop. It's something you might do once or twice but afterwards that burn reminds you to never do it again. All very good points you bring up. Yes women are not just "empty vessels" they have their own problems I'll have to help them with too. The biggest area of disconnect I fear is a lot of them at my age would have had past relationships/sexual encounters and I don't know how I'd react to that or be able to talk about it.

Just be nice, patient, and don't be desperate. These are the three key elements. In my opinion, you'd be very lucky to find someone with all three - or even at least attempts to be all three. And don't force anything with someone you aren't sure of. Honestly, don't force anything at all. If you like them, it will likely click. It's obviously best to date someone you have a lot in common with, or you'll struggle a lot to keep it long lasting. Hope this helps a bit. I'm not amazing at advice myself.

That is all very good advice! You ARE amazing at advice ;)

To the people still recommend dating apps: I guess I should give them another try. Persistence is key, just because they haven't worked yet doesn't mean they wont ever will. Just got to keep my expectations in check and not take them too seriously

 

[Zegers]

Hard to say. Even more so in a world that is becoming more stereotyped and narrow-minded. Physically you have good hair, you can style your hair any way you want and you are good-average so its fine. You say you don't go out much, that's something you might want to change, although sometimes we think we are the only ones lonely, there are many people who are virtually lonely or don't have many friends, try to go to places you like, it's easier to meet someone if there is a context.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Yes, UFC 285 tonight I'm fighting Ciryl Gane

Lol you had me there for a second. I'm really gullible
What I meant was are you a practitioner of jiu jitsu or Muay Thai now? Or did you never overcome your anxieties of it?

 

[innominesatanas44]

It's a lot to expect out of a girlfriend, yes. I'm understanding that too. You are right about expectations, basically everything in life can be described as a simple transaction. I give you this in exchange for this. But a girlfriend that maybe might lead to a wife is something different. After reading nightmare's story I am a believer again that women can love you unconditionally and despite your depression. Even stepping up in being the bread winner for you. I've had my heart broken plenty of times so now I just wanna push through that and keep trying til I find the right one, I guess.

Damn. You are too nice in response to my cynicism. That already proves there is more hope for you than there is for me, lmao. I hope you find who you are looking for.

 

[bijou]

you look perfectly good. the problem probably isn't you, it's the way romantic socializing is set up nowadays. dating apps are the standard and they r garbage. idk you personally, but you shouldn't blame yourself. i agree with other commenters suggesting you to go out, sometimes talking to strangers can be fun!

when u reframe the possibilities of those interactions, to something more positive, it can be more comfortable meeting people. don't expect anything from people, and just aim to have fun.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Hard to say. Even more so in a world that is becoming more stereotyped and narrow-minded. Physically you have good hair, you can style your hair any way you want and you are good-average so its fine. You say you don't go out much, that's something you might want to change, although sometimes we think we are the only ones lonely, there are many people who are virtually lonely or don't have many friends, try to go to places you like, it's easier to meet someone if there is a context.

Thanks. I was considering shaving it all off cause its getting too long and maintaining a hairstyle is getting too difficult. But you reminded me it may be my best asset. I'm going to try getting out more specifically in fitness-oriented spaces.

Damn. You are too nice in response to my cynicism. That already proves there is more hope for you than there is for me, lmao. I hope you find who you are looking for.

That's really kind. You too are nice. I hope you find your peace as well whatever it be.

Lol. No, I did the loner sports running and cycling. Also did a lot of shift work that made doing anything at regular times impossible, I often didnt know the day of the week.
Jiu Jitsu is a sport that suits physically weak people, use leverage to choke people and break their bones. I'd probably be giving it a go now but I've made some mistakes and fucked things up for myself.
I knew a couple people that married Filipino women they met through work and worked out well for them. Filipinos seem like decent people, obviously there's scammers if you look in the wrong places.

Running and cycling are challenging in their own right. I should try and incorporate them more in my exercises. Maybe Jiu Jitsu IS my thing. Though id love to learn boxing too. In case I have to throw hands in some bad night out downtown at the bar lol.
Funny you mentioned that. My aunt's Filipino. Very kind and intelligent. Doctor.
about your second post. I appreciate your concern but I'm not too worried. Not like I got a job they can fire me from or ruin my life worse than I already did myself.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah, you're definitely not hurting in the looks department...I too think it'd probably be best if you removed those photos, for security reasons. Hopefully you've received enough validation to know that if any inner voice calls you ugly, it's just stemming from dysmorphia...

Relationships, platonic and romantic, involve some luck, like everything else in life. Rejection doesn't necessarily reflect on you. Just continue to work on yourself and what you bring to the table and I feel you'll find someone.

 

[WellDefinedChin]

I thank everyone for the replies and suggestions. I am going to send photos of my face and my physique. Can anyone tell me if I'm ugly/fat etc? Because I think I am but I don't know if that's the dysmorphia talking or not

View attachment 105535View attachment 105536

You're arguably around a 5 out of 10. That's why you can't get a gf. First, lose weight, because fat is never attractive on average looking men.

You could try Thailand or another asian country, it's not your fault that western society kills dreams, they brainwash women to have literally so absurdly high Standards that makes it impossible for most men to find a long term relationship. Especially if you have some kind of anxiety, im pretty well build had most of the year a 6pack and stuff and only got random dudes on IG asking for feet pics. None is to blame at this stage of civilisation. Maybe get a Hobby that drives confidence and meet someone after that. Love on first view is pretty rare so there need to be some "entrance" like same interests or something that makes you interesting for the other person.

The women aren't brainwashed. It's nature. Western liberated women do not need average men like in the past. What you're suggesting is known as SEAmaxxing, and it's an option for unsuccessful WHITE men.
Ultimately, there are no individual solutions to a systematic problem.

you're not fat and your face looks fine imo. far from looking ugly to me

You're not fat nor ugly, I think quite the opposite.
A way to work on your mental image of yourself is to basically "joke" about how good looking you are.

Basically do the opposite of self deprecating humor and eventually your confidence starts to build up significantly.
I did this for awhile when I thought I looked terrible and eventually with this method I started to think I was good looking and developed more confidence in myself and started getting a much better mental image of myself.

Which has helped me greatly for the most part.

Just be nice, patient, and don't be desperate. These are the three key elements. In my opinion, you'd be very lucky to find someone with all three - or even at least attempts to be all three. And don't force anything with someone you aren't sure of. Honestly, don't force anything at all. If you like them, it will likely click. It's obviously best to date someone you have a lot in common with, or you'll struggle a lot to keep it long lasting. Hope this helps a bit. I'm not amazing at advice myself.

Look, I'm going to get flack for this, but, OP, you want the truth right? You're not enough for women when men like this are available on Tinder.

Men are terrible at rating other men, because there is no innate sense needed for men (you are straight).
You have to improve the way you look to improve your dating prospects, even just hookups if you want to.

 

[Seven Threads]

Hey there! So, everything I have to say on the subject has already been mentioned a couple of times by other members so far, but I think some of them bear repeating.

First off, while I wish to do so in a respectful manner, I cannot help but vehemently disagree with WellDefinedChin. Sculpted bodies and good looks are not what most women are looking for in a relationship these days, and even in the cases where they are, it is a terrible foundation for any meaningful connection. And I feel I have some authority to speak on this, having successfully found the love of my life with a Santa Claus beard and body in my late 20's. Those members stating that 'just being you' is the answer are absolutely right. What's more, I'm gonna back my sh*t up with evidence.

Wanna know how I scored my girl?

I stole her keys.

...

No, seriously. I stole her keys.

My girl and I met as coworkers at Safeway. I was in the deli department, and she worked in file maintenance. Believe it or not, she asked me out. And before that conversation, I was barely aware that she existed.

As a worker in the deli, I occasionally (often) had to take the trash back to the compacter in the rear of the building. Problem is the compactor is always locked, and requires a key to open, which is held by the PIC (person in charge) on the floor at the time. On this particular day, I managed to grab hold of the PIC as she was passing by near the compactor, and asked her for the key. She was busy with a task at the moment, so rather than going over and unlocking the chute door, she just handed me the keys. So I, being ever the prankster (i.e. being me), thanked her for the keys, turned around, and promptly naruto-ran in the opposite direction, whoop-whooping like some kind of cartoon. This led to a rather amusing interaction where she chased me through the back rooms, shouting "get back here!" while I cackled like an idiot.

I would later learn that she'd already had her eye on me for a little while, largely because of my friendly and social demeanor, and that this act of stealing her keys cemented me in her mind as one of her people, and it was a short time later that she asked me out.

The things that are going to draw people to you, the things they care about, they're not gonna be your looks. They're gonna be the way you treat and talk to people, how you act, and the things you say and do that clue in anyone who might be paying attention that you're the sort of person they want to spend time with.

And it's a good thing we clicked so well. We need each other. We've both had hard lives, and we both struggle with severe depression. She's even been suicidal herself a few times, mostly before I knew her. And it's really hard sometimes. Case in point, I'm gay. She's straight. It's complicated. But finding that person who really 'gets' you and wants you for who you are is worth it.

(By the by, if I may? Dude, you're hot. Stop worrying. :P)

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Thank you for the honest feedback. I knew I was always middle of the pack at best so your rating is not surprising or hurtful. Is it sad that I think 5/10 is not that bad?? Losing fat is now one of my main goals now that I've put on the mass. I'm like 5'11" pushing 190lbs so I'm not THAT tubby but my body fat is just settling in all the wrong places like my midsection. It's just so hard eating right. I ate 3 cookies when I got back from lifting today and I have no idea why, I'm just depression eating I guess. (Though when I'm talking to a girl I'd probably have a shirt on lol so I don't know how helpful this will be in terms of upping my game...)

I just don't think good looks and a nice body are enough, and they never were. "unsuccessful". That is a key word that you used. Ultimately the wealthy unattractive guy will have better odds than the poor attractive guy.

I think where my failures lie with Tinder is more my profile rather than looks alone. When I see women's profiles compared to my own I can tell what they're expecting and what I'm lacking. You need...
1) Photos taken by other people not just a bunch of selfies
2) Photos of you with other people. This like #1 shows to people youre social and have friends who you do stuff with yada yada yada
3)Photos/vids of you engaging in an activity or in a recognizable location, to give others a better idea of who you are and what your interests are.
4) To express humor either through a witty caption or a funny pic. This is probably the most sought after trait.
5) Showing you went to x university and have some flashy and high paying occupational title, like executive something or other. Success is what is mainly attractive for us.

When I compare my photos to the example of the model you provided, there are a few things that come to mind. Yes that guy has some handsomer facial features than I, hairline, eyes, jaw, chin. But that is a professional headshot taken with a high quality camera and the most optimal lighting lol. I only got myself to help me take pics of myself and the built-in iPhone 11 camera. obviously our results are going to be wildly different...

I think if that guy you provided, as handsome as he is, only had what I have to work with photo-wise and my same exact personality and occupation (none), he'd struggle with dating apps too. On there you are essentially "branding" yourself and selling that to other people, like a product or service. Which goes beyond just outward appearances.

Boxing is a good choice, did some beginners classes years ago great fun.

Running and cycling clubs could be good to meet women also, more likely to find someone that isn't a party animal. There's usually local competitions with people of all abilities going.

If you intend to do more running and cycling, I'd recommend a basic garmin watch for tracking. Keeps you accountable and you gain confidence from seeing your improvement over time. There's some technique to running you can learn off YouTube and also how to properly fit your bike to your body, saddle height etc.

Runners high is real, a quick 5km or 10km run used to be heaven for me.

Good luck

Wow you did 5ks and 10ks? Impressive. It's been a very long time since I ran a 5k. A while since I've last run a mile (1.6km), very bad. Despite lifting like everyday I'm incredibly out of shape. Thank you for inspiring me to get after that again :)

 

[MoonlitNight]

Thank you for the advice. I can be social and talkative but it is not as easy as when I was younger. My days of college and what not are behind me. I am a 24yo male and I don't leave the house much besides going to the gym or out on walks. I don't know how adults are supposed to meet each other. Everyone my age is just working all the time, no time to hangout. Friends too seem impossible to find, not just a gf.


Thank you. Working out has been somewhat beneficial to me. I made a promise to myself that if nothing else, I'm going to commit to being in the best shape possible. It is the only area of self improvement I've been consistent at. While I'm no Mr olympia, I have a decent build. Many people even other men have commented on my big chest and broad shoulders. So, I don't think my physique is a problem. Nevertheless I'll continue sculpting myself. I could lose some body fat, that is my biggest area of improvement. Don't know how to eat healthier cause I never really feed myself. Thinking of starving myself for a week to see if there's any improvement. Unfortunately the gym is all I do and that's the worst place to try and talk to a girl, I've already learned this.

I know self love is key. It's just hard not to hate myself, where I am and what I've become. I'll always think I'm doomed because of my past. I really don't hate life itself but more so my life and what's become of it. I have great appreciation of nature and the beauty of the natural world.

Nightmare's thread deeply effected me. His love for his wife is the main reason he stopped his attempt. I think my only chance at recovery is if I have a woman like that on my side.

Through the struggles you've been consistent about getting better, im happy for you! I don't recommend getting a girlfriend for the sake of trying to find a reason to live (speaking from experience in the place of the girlfriend). Because in relationships there's ups and downs, sometimes you'll have to stay strong and fight to fix it up and maybe it's just not meant to be. These things may take a toll on you.
i dont know how you're deciding to step up with things but finding love just for the sake of looking for a reason not to kill yourself will not work. If they give you a reason to stay strong than that's great.. just please dont hang your self worth on it.

Maybe you could find some public activities or a working group in your job to establish connections. Best of luck.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Through the struggles you've been consistent about getting better, im happy for you! I don't recommend getting a girlfriend for the sake of trying to find a reason to live (speaking from experience in the place of the girlfriend). Because in relationships there's ups and downs, sometimes you'll have to stay strong and fight to fix it up and maybe it's just not meant to be. These things may take a toll on you.
i dont know how you're deciding to step up with things but finding love just for the sake of looking for a reason not to kill yourself will not work. If they give you a reason to stay strong than that's great.. just please dont hang your self worth on it.

Maybe you could find some public activities or a working group in your job to establish connections. Best of luck.

Thank you for the insight. Yes I too agree that a girlfriend shouldn't be your sole reason to live. I have counselled other users on this and it's just such a shame I can't live up to my own advice.
My biggest fear is if I do push those thoughts aside, focus on me and achieve all that was possible for me to achieve in a lifetime. My 40th birthday or whatever (middle age) rolls around and I'm still single it would have all felt for nothing. Who would be there to celebrate with me? My family will all be passed away. I might get a card from my co-workers or a text from a friend but that will still leave my feeling empty as I sit alone in my house. And even if I do find someone then, I will be past my prime and the woman will be beyond her child bearing years. Too late to start a family like I've always envisioned for myself.

I will try in engaging in more public activities. I'm not college educated so I'm only qualified for menial low-pay jobs where working groups and friendships from work are not really a thing. I do appreciate the suggestion though.