Why does self-care feel like a chore?

[Loaf of bread]

So as part of recovery I've been trying to get back in the habit of self care but I find that it feels like a chore?

Eating meals, having showers, brushing teeth, etc. all feel like a chore and not pleasurable nor enjoyable. Just a mild-moderate tedious inconvenience that must be done.

In that regard it feels exactly like actual chores like washing dishes, doing laundry, running errands, getting gas, etc.

Eating meals feels especially tedious. I never enjoy the taste and feeling of food like I used to. It's always "Ugh I have to do this to not starve, this is going to be so boring" followed by "finally that's over. 2 meals down, one more to go for today".

Is this normal for neurotypicals? Do they find self care to be tedious and boring like a chore?

Can anyone relate?

 

[lemonbunny]

i totally get what u mean. it's either do the uncomfortable thing, or sit in discomfort. there's no peace. i don't know how people have the energy to eat thrice a day, either; i've gone down to one. idk how much it has to do with neurotypical/neurodivergent or whatever as much as just depression? lol

 

[Mitsumi]

I totally relate omg. I think it's just my depression I dunno

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

I have felt like this for so many years and I feel like it's just getting worse. I barely enjoy eating these days. The worst is having to get dressed to go outside. It takes me sooo long and so much energy just to get myself out of bed in the morning.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I struggle to take my medication but can easly slap sunscreen and moisturizer on my face no problem.

Brush my teeth but flossing feels like impossible even though its a 5 second thing, human mind is pitiful

 

[cherrypiegonnadie]

I feel the same. I'm neurodivergent, i have adhd and autism and for me i think it has something to do with routine. I despise it, the adhd in me constantly wants to wander off routine but the autistic part in me desperately needs routine to function properly. Its horrible and causes alot of missed time and lost energy to simply sort my thoughts and put the things i need to do in order to get ready for the day. Meals are for me too the worst. for quite some time i've been eating very irregularly because i simply do not want to prepare even the smallest meal, until im literally so hungry i get the shakes. I hate it all. Showering. Teeth brushing. Getting dressed. Eating. Even drinking, i just find it takes too much energy and in the end does not feel rewarding enough to keep up the routine. I think after a longer time where u keep up with it, it should get easier, but i requires just too much energy to nit only do it regularly, but just once. I hate it.

 

[Labyrinth]

The responsibility of self-care is a real task like all others. It's not about neurotypical or neurodivergent, but mental health that will determine whether you do these activities carefully or undesirably.

I'm exhausted to fulfill these functions, because there's no point in taking care of yourself when no one loves you.

 

[Nofuture1234]

I can only speak for myself but once it really sunk in that no matter what I do I'm never going to get what I want out of life or live a life as happy as those around me, it's become much harder to motivate myself to clean/eat healthy/exercise/moderate drug usage/even just leave my bed. I personally think it's a subconcious desire to die faster, like my body is giving up.
My lack of appetite in particular has equal amount to do with my drug addiction however

 

[Mirrory Me]

It has worked for me so that by eating healthily I have improved the functioning of my body and mind, which has balanced and increased my energy to accomplish things. In fact, I'm excited to just start looking for more new information about how I could improve my health and mood.

 

[Moonomyth]

Is this normal for neurotypicals? Do they find self care to be tedious and boring like a chore?

Yes, they find most of these daily self-care routines to be a chore like many neurodivergent people. They may be more tolerant of having to do a lot of chores, but that doesn't necessarily mean the chores are pleasant to them.

I think it's more accurate to say that either they feel significantly worse when they miss these routines, so much so that they more easily tolerate them, or they have a range of tolerance where some chores are more pleasant to a person than others. The common example would be enjoying preparing meals compared to only doing what's necessary to finish cooking as quickly as possible. I don't think that's very different for neurodivergents except in how many of these chores they're willing to tolerate.

 

[trashhologram]

For me (and many others) depression makes self care feel like a chore. I try to practice self care every day, even if it's just a small thing like enjoying a cup of coffee and cuddling my cats. Self care doesn't have to be anything huge like cooking a meal, taking a shower or finishing a skincare routine. It can be small things too, like having a treat you like, watching something funny, listening to music or journaling. Self care is basically anything that's good for you and makes you feel even a bit better.

 

[mortuarymary]

Also can relate.
from July up until mid December I didn't wash my hair. When I'm bad I won't shower, eat etc.
I am rather an OCD person, so me doing this really shows me I need help or CTB.

 

[barkbark]

one thing i've found helps with this is if you make it easier on yourself for days where you have no energy— for instance when i have energy i sometimes try to give myself some meal prep with recipes that are fairly fast (stuff like pasta, rice, etc) or pretty easy (baked potatoes for instance) and super easy options that i can just pop in the microwave and be done with it in a few mins. same goes for stuff like dental hygiene. it's not preferred but you can brush your teeth without getting up from bed if you keep a toothbrush on your bedside. also generally i've found its best to keep something around that can take your attention away from the thoughts (so like, phone games or whatever)

 

[inaminute]

So as part of recovery I've been trying to get back in the habit of self care but I find that it feels like a chore?

Eating meals, having showers, brushing teeth, etc. all feel like a chore and not pleasurable nor enjoyable. Just a mild-moderate tedious inconvenience that must be done.

In that regard it feels exactly like actual chores like washing dishes, doing laundry, running errands, getting gas, etc.

Eating meals feels especially tedious. I never enjoy the taste and feeling of food like I used to. It's always "Ugh I have to do this to not starve, this is going to be so boring" followed by "finally that's over. 2 meals down, one more to go for today".

Is this normal for neurotypicals? Do they find self care to be tedious and boring like a chore?

Can anyone relate?

I can relate to self care but not with showering - I shower every other day if I can manage but will compulsively shower if I get abuse flashbacks. When I shower I always think I am doing the mortuary staff a favour by being clean already, and besides being male when I shower my man parts - which many guys will relate to this - I imagine "someone's gonna suck my dick today"

There's humour in being suicidal and routines like this