This is how human brain works. But if it is a member of a family it works out better.
I must have been dealt a bad hand. When my grandfather died of his terminal illness (may he rest in peace), the rest of my paternal relatives literally threw me out of the house three weeks later. This being despite the fact I was unemployed, lost most of my possessions due to a bad relationship breakup, and suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideation. I had just graduated from college, but that didn't mean jack shit. They only cared about money, job title, prestige, and success. They literally threw me out on the street despite them having a paid off house, two cars (I had no car), food, and middle-class necessities. Oh, and the decision that was made on why I was thrown out? Money was a factor, but the main reason (I would later find out) was because I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, and they wanted nothing to do with it. They literally said to my fucking face that my way of life was
pathetic.
The only way to avoid homelessness was to live with my abusive maternal relatives, where I was continually harrassed, physically abused, and a whole bunch of other really nasty shit for a year. Literally no one to save me. Somehow, I got a good job in the midst of that hell, climbed my way out of poverty, paid off my own car, and made it back to the bottom rungs of middle-class society. Now my paternal relatives want to see me again, make amends, and hang out like the good old days because I have money, a job, my own place, and am making a living.
I feel nothing, or if I do, it's deep-seated rage and emptiness. I suffer from recurring nightmares. I have severe anxiety. Suicidal ideation is still a thing, and if I ever lost my current job, my mind would immediately jump to suicide. My mind is constantly in a survivalist mindset, even though I have a stable form of living now. And, I honestly struggle trusting others, because if a relative I grew up with that I thought I could love and trust did that to me, how do I learn to trust anyone else? If they couldn't handle me at my worst, they certainly couldn't handle me at my best. I don't know how people can do that to others, especially to their own flesh and blood.
I get that the human brain can only handle so much, and that there's only so much a person can do for someone else in terms of trying to help. At a certain point, one does have to look out after themselves. But for family to literally throw you in the dumpster for not making a sustainable living after promising a place to stay is cruel. Especially if the main reason for getting kicked out is due to a physical or mental health ailment.
