Why does indifference bother people?

[Weebster]

It's funny when a new acquaintance starts talking about some world problem and then gets mad because I don't care.

 

[Zegers]

Maybe because people are interested in feeling that you are interested in what they are telling you, I guess.

 

[Ashu]

Who gives a shit?

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Because they're overly emotional retards

 

[Smart No More]

I expect it because its presented to them with seeming if not actual ignorance. Ignorance is often indicative of other poor qualities of character. Selfishness, self involvement and laziness for example. This aside some feel strongly about things so find it hard to imagine how others don't posses similar strength of opinion or ethics even if they're opposing ones. Again, that circles back to perceiving the indifference as ignorance or stupidity. So it's understandable. I get it. There are a handful of understandable reasons for indifference but they're less common than those supporting the opposite. Off the top of my head I'm thinking the results of being in a high pressure situation that only allows you to inhabit the here and now in need of survival. Cases of abuse and terror would cause that. Then there's a somewhat different type of abuse in the form of over parenting involving over shielding a child from the real world and censoring their feelings, controlling whwt and how they think. The results of that can be seen mirrored in countries that do so to their governments. It never ends well. Often having the exact opposite effect resulting in an explosion of defiance. Those that don't rebel revert inwards. Imploding and becoming unable to allow themselves to have opinion for fear of consequence. So, yeah, indifference is never a sign of virtue and has only negwtive connotations. But isn't that obvious!?

I'm sure many would like to think being indifferent mean to be they "like, super 'chill'". Ignorant fuckwits!

I mean, if you haven't formed an opinion on a subject that's fine. To not give a fuck is different and requires a reason. Not that the reason needs to offered up to anyone other than yourself as justification. Obviously many of us don't have a lot of capacity for much more than we have on our immediate plates. That's fine. If I weren't inclined to consider important matters were my symptoms and circumstances not so all encompassing then I'd be ashamed of myself. Again, not yet reaching an opinion is fine. Give no fucks is not. Though it's my right it doesn't mean it is justified.

 

[Someone123]

It's funny when a new acquaintance starts talking about some world problem and then gets mad because I don't care.

Why should they try to get to know you if you don't care about what they say? It's not just caring about the problem they are duscissing, it's caring about the person who is talking to you. You're throwing away a potnetial frinedship, with all it can offer, if you don't at least listen in a caring way to what they care about- not because you care about this issues, but because you care about them- and what is important to them. Frinedship can have so much to offer a person, it's one of the big keys to solving loneliness- but you need to care about peoplw in general for them to care about you.

 

[No Entertainment]

You're already don't care about world problem. Next step is start not caring whether your new acquaintance get mad or not about you not caring about world problem.

 

[Someone123]

You're already don't care about world problem. Next step is start not caring whether your new acquaintance get mad or not about you not caring about world problem.

The point is that for friends that you care about and they care deeply about something then you listen in a caring way because you care about them. Either that or live a life of loneliness. You make an effort to understand why they care about something and you caare about how they feel- or else just be very lonely. Caring is a two way street.

 

[Weebster]

Why should they try to get to know you if you don't care about what they say? It's not just caring about the problem they are duscissing, it's caring about the person who is talking to you. You're throwing away a potnetial frinedship, with all it can offer, if you don't at least listen in a caring way to what they care about- not because you care about this issues, but because you care about them- and what is important to them. Frinedship can have so much to offer a person, it's one of the big keys to solving loneliness- but you need to care about peoplw in general for them to care about you.

Why do you assume I would want to be friends with every acquaintances I come across? Most people are not worth knowing. I knew many in my youth. I was not impressed.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well if I may play Devil's Advocate for that person for a moment, it's reasonable to assume that usually indifference to [insert world problem here] is almost exactly the reason that problem is flourishing in the first place and somebody who cares unfortunately has to deal with the fact that the more people don't care, the less likely it is going to get solved. May not be entirely your fault but to them it's people like you's fault for whatever thing they're so concerned about. Not to say I don't get your apathy though. Especially if you really don't care enough to do anything about whatever it is. They're probably just frustrated that too many people doing that is what's making it such a problem in the first place, whatever it is.

Of course the nice thing about indifference is not having to even care about how upset or not other people are at you for not caring.

 

[Someone123]

Why do you assume I would want to be friends with every acquaintances I come across? Most people are not worth knowing. I knew many in my youth. I was not impressed.

Well you complain about loneliness, and one of the best ways to alleviate this is to find something of value in every person. If you think that most people are not worth knowing then this sets the stage for loneliness- it seems almost impossible to solve this if you don't or won't see value in most people. If a person is a really mean person I can see avoiding them, but other than that, if you can't or won't find value in most people then really bad loneliness seems like the unavoidable result. How can you keep a girlfriend if you don't find value in most people, which will include her family and friends? They will be a variety of people and if you don't appreciate them she won't want to stay with you. If you stick to the mindset that most people are not worth knowing then really bad loneliness seems inevitable.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Why should they try to get to know you if you don't care about what they say? It's not just caring about the problem they are duscissing, it's caring about the person who is talking to you. You're throwing away a potnetial frinedship, with all it can offer, if you don't at least listen in a caring way to what they care about- not because you care about this issues, but because you care about them- and what is important to them. Frinedship can have so much to offer a person, it's one of the big keys to solving loneliness- but you need to care about peoplw in general for them to care about you.

You're making a lot of assumptions here. Having indifference to a subject doesn't mean you don't care about what the person is saying or how they feel about the matter, it means the topic at hand does not invoke the same response in you that it does the person.

What the fuck is the point of having people in your life if you have to fake emotional responses every two seconds to satisfy them? That has nothing to do with friendship or even acquaintanceship. If someone can't handle you not giving a shit about something how the fuck are they going to be your friend?

Ridiculous.

 

[Someone123]

You're making a lot of assumptions here. Having indifference to a subject doesn't mean you don't care about what the person is saying or how they feel about the matter, it means the topic at hand does not invoke the same response in you that it does the person.

What the fuck is the point of having people in your life if you have to fake emotional responses every two seconds to satisfy them? That has nothing to do with friendship or even acquaintanceship. If someone can't handle you not giving a shit about something how the fuck are they going to be your friend?

Ridiculous.

I disagree- I'm not talking about faking emotional responses, I'm talking about appreciating people and caring about people- the approach I am talking about I basically learned from Dale Carnegie, where if you care about peopel then if something is important to tem you will listen to thm because you care about them, not because you agree with everything they say- but that you can have an open mind about things that are important to them.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I disagree- I'm not talking about faking emotional responses, I'm talking about appreciating people and caring about people- the approach I am talking about I basically learned from Dale Carnegie, where if you care about peopel then if something is important to tem you will listen to thm because you care about them, not because you agree with everything they say- but that you can have an open mind about things that are important to them.

Okay, do you understand that you can feel indifferent about something and still care about and appreciate someone? I don't understand this leap you made with indifference meaning not caring about what someone is saying.

Weebster, in my life, the "friends" I've made by entertaining their nonsense were absolute trash. The real friends I've had for decades? I've never pretended to give a shit about something they were saying if I didn't care. It never meant I loved them any less or that I didn't care about what they were actually saying. I don't agree with Someone's take on this at all. Thats my two cents.

 

[Someone123]

Okay, do you understand that you can feel indifferent about something and still care about and appreciate someone? I don't understand this leap you made with indifference meaning not caring about what someone is saying.

Weebster, in my life, the "friends" I've made by entertaining their nonsense were absolute trash. The real friends I've had for decades? I've never pretended to give a shit about something they were saying if I didn't care. It never meant I loved them any less or that I didn't care about what they were actually saying. I don't agree with Someone's take on this at all. Thats my two cents.

I'm not sayinhg to pretend to care about something you don't, I'm saying that if someone you care about wants to talk to you about something that is important to t hem you listen in a caring way- you can still have your own point of view.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I'm not sayinhg to pretend to care about something you don't, I'm saying that if someone you care about wants to talk to you about something that is important to t hem you listen in a caring way- you can still have your own point of view.

Whats a caring way?

 

[Someone123]

Whats a caring way?

You don't immediately say- I don't care about that, I',m not talking about that, or something like that. You listen to what they care about and why it is important to them if it's something that is very important to them. Dale Carnegie outlines this approach in his books and I'm not going t try to describe every detail and then have it picked apart. The original post said:

"It's funny when a new acquaintance starts talking about some world problem and then gets mad because I don't care."

So if someone is trying to connect with you by telling you about something that is important to them and you have the attitude like you are laughing at hem and you say "I don't care" these acquaintances will not become friends- it's a nasty way to treat people.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

You don't immediately say- I don't care about that, I',m not talking about that, or something like that. You listen to what they care about and why it is important to them if it's something that is very important to them. Dale Carnegie outlines this approach in his books and I'm not going t try to describe every detail and then have it picked apart. The original post said:

"It's funny when a new acquaintance starts talking about some world problem and then gets mad because I don't care."

So if someone is trying to connect with you by telling you about something that is important to them and you have the attitude like you are laughing at hem and you say "I don't care" these acquaintances will not become friends- it's a nasty way to treat people.

Okay fine that I can totally agree with. You don't go cutting people off and blatantly saying you don't care, thats not right.

You definitely shouldn't do that, Weebster.

We had different understandings of the word "indifference", what you're describing I wouldn't call indifference, thats just being rude.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

You don't immediately say- I don't care about that, I',m not talking about that, or something like that.

OP never said that he said anything of that sort. You could be reading more into the situation than actually happened. Possibly the other person asked them what they thought of situation XYZ. In that case, if OP says they don't really care about XYZ, that is not the same as stating such the minute someone else brings up the topic, without being asked for the opinion.

It's funny when a new acquaintance starts talking about some world problem and then gets mad because I don't care.

Some people assume that everyone else in this world views life the same way they do. If they believe that some situation is of dire importance, they just can't fathom that others might not care.

 

[Weebster]

Okay, do you understand that you can feel indifferent about something and still care about and appreciate someone? I don't understand this leap you made with indifference meaning not caring about what someone is saying.

Weebster, in my life, the "friends" I've made by entertaining their nonsense were absolute trash. The real friends I've had for decades? I've never pretended to give a shit about something they were saying if I didn't care. It never meant I loved them any less or that I didn't care about what they were actually saying. I don't agree with Someone's take on this at all. Thats my two cents.

I've lost people by not pretending. I don't know where to find the good kind of friends when my generation (millennials) are so defective. I mesh best with Gen X.

OP never said that he said anything of that sort. You could be reading more into the situation than actually happened. Possibly the other person asked them what they thought of situation XYZ. In that case, if OP says they don't really care about XYZ, that is not the same as stating such the minute someone else brings up the topic, without being asked for the opinion.



Some people assume that everyone else in this world views life the same way they do. If they believe that some situation is of dire importance, they just can't fathom that others might not care.

Like the people who say "life isn't so bad," when it's THEIR life that isn't so bad.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I've lost people by not pretending. I don't know where to find the good kind of friends when my generation (millennials) are so defective. I mesh best with Gen X.

Well, I can only talk from my own perspective, but I've never actually looked for friends, it was all just a matter of chance that I met the people I befriended.

Theres nothing wrong with befriending people from Gen X though.

The people you lost by not pretending were never worth it, you saved yourself a headache.

 

[Niko66]

I think people are making good points so far... It leaves me with the question then how do you act when you don't care about something they are talking about? Do you stay silent, do you tell them you don't care, etc... The added context would help a lot in being given a proper answer on the *why* because indifference can look in many different ways.

 

[whatevs]

I think people are making good points so far... It leaves me with the question then how do you act when you don't care about something they are talking about? Do you stay silent, do you tell them you don't care, etc... The added context would help a lot in being given a proper answer on the *why* because indifference can look in many different ways.

I have witnessed social butterflies changing subject using sense of humour or branching into something related non-chalantly. They never stay on the topic they feel is uninteresting, but the transition isn't abrupt.

 

[Weebster]

I have witnessed social butterflies changing subject using sense of humour or branching into something related non-chalantly. They never stay on the topic they feel is uninteresting, but the transition isn't abrupt.

I cut in and say, "WELL, ANYWAY..."

 

[GentleJerk]

 

[SantaTeresa]

They relate the indifference towards their topics to theirselves.

 

[Weebster]

They relate the indifference towards their topics to theirselves.

I'm also indifferent to them lol

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I'm indifferent to almost everyone these days, and to most world event topics. I've been in a perpetual "I don't give a crap" mode for a number of years now.

 

[Weebster]

I'm indifferent to almost everyone these days, and to most world event topics. I've been in a perpetual "I don't give a crap" mode for a number of years now.

It's freeing. It's a form of decluttering