Why does everyone run on money and i cant?

[Opossum]

Money has never been a motivation for me, i just cant value it as much as everyone else. I know its important, and is useful and a necessity... but i HATE Money and haveing to deal with it. I had 3 jobs before and hated them, wich is normal, but after you think "i hate my job." You think "well i need the money" wich is what i think, but then after, my next thought is "but why do i need this? I get nothing but stress from it, and im liveing just for it!" I cant live my life JUST to make another dollar just to spend it on things that i need to continue to work for more dollars and repeat the circle...

Money gives me nothing but stress and pressure to make more of it as i spend more for the chance to make more. I dont understand why i have to spend the life i already hate, doing work that leaves me unfulfilled, tired, and more empty than normal, just so i can be more miserable but with a bank account thats on life support.

Then when i ask or tell people about this irl, they say "well you need money to live, cant go anywhere in life with no money." Wich is a lie... unless you have a fortune already when you're born, or get rich fast some how, you wont go anywhere, i know i wont go anywhere! I dropped out of school because i just couldn't meat the requirements to graduate, the jobs ill work for the rest of my life will only give me minimum wage... minimum wage isn't even liveable in this world anymore if it ever was in the first place!

I cant live a life just to work it away, if im gonna waste my life miserable tell i kms then im gonna do it my way... at least ill be a bit less miserable my way. Hell i tryed getting better just so i could feel better about working my life away but i can no longer afford to get help thanks to my insurance expiring or something like that...

Doses anyone else have this problem? Not seeing money as worth the trouble, or no desire to obtain it?

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I've felt that way yes, when the money I was earning didn't have meaningful impact in my life. As in, it wasn't enough to leave my father's house and that's all that I cared about, the only thing that could potentially make me happy.

If you're not earning enough to make meaningful changes to your life, then money feels useless.

I started valuing money a lot more when I changed to a job that paid me enough to leave my father's house and have my own rented place.

If it wasn't for that change and earning more which allowed me to improve my life, I think I'd already be dead.

 

[whywere]

I started out at 18, after getting kicked out by my "parents" with no money, food, shelter, nothing but a bag of clothes. I took any job so I could eat and stay alive.

Now at 68 years old, I have done ok BUT I am still a firm believer in this fact, I leave with what I came with, nothing and I will be dust. A person that I know, back in May of this year could not afford a new pair of shoes, so I bought her a gift card and told her to go pick out what she wanted.

In the same vein, I am going to set up a scholarship to a college/university, so after I am dust folks can get help to get a education and better their lives.

I have seen SO MUCH greed, backstabbing and everything that goes with it through all these decades and it makes me sick watching people brag about themselves and all their "stuff" and then seeing other folks without even the basics of life, so very wrong period.

Lots of well wishes to everyone here.

Walter

 

[Lightkeeper]

I feel it similarly. Luckily I don't have any kind of financial issues since I live with my parents, but I can't find a reason to earn more than a bare minimum to get by. I often thought about it, and even if I had all money in the world, I still wouldn't want to live on this God forgotten planet, so why bother? I'm just working so that people leave me the f*ck alone lol

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Money has always been a motivation for me bc it's a necessity in our society and a lot of things if not everything in our lives depends on money and how much of it we can earn or already have. I'm well aware that money cannot buy everything - health in particular - but good health and no money are as bad when we're not able to live our life despite being healthy.

If you're not earning enough to make meaningful changes to your life, then money feels useless.

I agree with the first part how you worded it bc I see it this way and that is sth why money is a motivation for me when the income can change my life in a way that it gets better. But I would never say money feels useless rather I'm not destroying my life with stressful jobs I don't wanna do just to make the CEO richer on my costs - that doesn't motivate me. At the end I'm a wreck and can't enjoy my money.

In modern words we say: Work-Life-Balance

Unfortunately, that's often not a balance.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think I get what you mean. For the 99% of people, obtaining money is tiring and is a massive chore. It makes sense to be annoyed at obtaining money because all it gives you is having to work more. Our efforts to get money just makes it where we have to work more and more and more until retirement age. It would be nice if, at least, our efforts to get money liberated us from work permanently but we all know that it doesn't. Your feelings are valid and obtaining money really isn't worth the trouble and effort. In my case, it's better to ctb than to chase money as the latter just isn't worth it

 

[enduringwinter]

unless you have a fortune already when you're born, or get rich fast some how, you wont go anywhere, i know i wont go anywhere!

Exactly. If you're not born with it, it will never be enough.

I understand you completely. This is how I am like too.

 

[Apathy79]

I agree to a point. I had a high paying job that was high stress and long hours. I hated it. I quit it, took a massive pay cut, I mean like 10x less, but also cut my hours by a similar amount and worked from home. I think it was the right choice. I feel like I need to work to obtain enough money to live comfortably. But for me, that's less than minimum wage. And beyond that, I'm not willing to trade my time for more money if I hate the work as a general rule. But if I had no income at all, I would definitely do pretty much any work to cover the basics. I think the trick is not to need much money to be comfortable. I tell people I live comfortably and even save money on $20K/year and they can't even comprehend it. They're earning $200K and feel like they're barely keeping their head above water.

 

[DarkRange55]

*Generally* speaking humans are motivated by one of the four M's: mastery (being recognized for a skill or being the best at something), momentum/movement (always doing something and being free), material/money (wealth, ect), mating (woman/dating/sex/love/romance).

Typically people have a primary and a secondary motivator. Jeff Bezos is motivated by building the biggest company, Picasso by being the best artist, explorers by pioneering, ect. Not always but *usually.* So for some people, money isn't their motivator.

Out of the 25 cognitive biases, the strongest one is the reward bias. (Heuristics - "decision making trees" in your brain) Success is like osmosis (you must be pulled along) by triggering your reward bias to fan the flames and keep the dream alive. Will power is limited and goes down like a battery. Most people don't know how to trigger that. I actually read a study that on average men could lift something like 10-15% more in weight when they were looking at an attractive woman…

 

[cali22♡]

People sell themselves for a certain standard of living

 

[BrocolliSandwich]

I totally 100% get these feels. I have always struggled with this, especially having worked in many higher management or support roles in financially oriented businesses. I never really fit in either. But then I had cancer.. and a lot of time to think. So far it looks good on the cancer front, but wanting to grow from it and better myself, one of the things I did was get my mental health assessed. Turns out I have ADHD... severe ADHD.

Us ADHD folk are motivated by interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, and passion.
Not so much on consequences, or the experiences of the past or imagined future.

Not saying ya have ADHD, or are neurodivergent. But an assessment by a psychiatrist (who specializes in therapy, ADHD, coaching) can help you figure out your strengths and areas ya struggle. They can help to focus on things you can succeed on doing, and how to avoid or mitigate the things you're not geared towards. Not sure which country ya live in. The US seems super hit and miss on what's covered. Canada also depends, but in most cases a family doctor can refer ya.

If you think you might have ADHD, I highly recommend checking out Russell Barkley, and Jessica McCabe(How to ADHD) on youtube.
Great reads/audio books are,
-Dirty Laundry by Richard Pink, Roxane Emery (Just good casual resource to normalize ADHD, feel validated, and on relationships).
-How To ADHD, Jessica McCabe (Good, science based but personal and practical help from the perspective of someone with ADHD who is self learned on the subject, but recognised by international psychiatrists as a good resource).
-Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, Second Edition, by Russell Barkley (Hands down the best book learning, strategies, and how to find resources for adult ADHD, by the worlds leading ADHD psychiatrist, in a very practical, factual, and ADHD friendly manner)

PS.
Your icon is heckin epic.

 

[Opossum]

I totally 100% get these feels. I have always struggled with this, especially having worked in many higher management or support roles in financially oriented businesses. I never really fit in either. But then I had cancer.. and a lot of time to think. So far it looks good on the cancer front, but wanting to grow from it and better myself, one of the things I did was get my mental health assessed. Turns out I have ADHD... severe ADHD.

Us ADHD folk are motivated by interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, and passion.
Not so much on consequences, or the experiences of the past or imagined future.

Not saying ya have ADHD, or are neurodivergent. But an assessment by a psychiatrist (who specializes in therapy, ADHD, coaching) can help you figure out your strengths and areas ya struggle. They can help to focus on things you can succeed on doing, and how to avoid or mitigate the things you're not geared towards. Not sure which country ya live in. The US seems super hit and miss on what's covered. Canada also depends, but in most cases a family doctor can refer ya.

If you think you might have ADHD, I highly recommend checking out Russell Barkley, and Jessica McCabe(How to ADHD) on youtube.
Great reads/audio books are,
-Dirty Laundry by Richard Pink, Roxane Emery (Just good casual resource to normalize ADHD, feel validated, and on relationships).
-How To ADHD, Jessica McCabe (Good, science based but personal and practical help from the perspective of someone with ADHD who is self learned on the subject, but recognised by international psychiatrists as a good resource).
-Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, Second Edition, by Russell Barkley (Hands down the best book learning, strategies, and how to find resources for adult ADHD, by the worlds leading ADHD psychiatrist, in a very practical, factual, and ADHD friendly manner)

PS.
Your icon is heckin epic.

I think i do have ADHD actually, i have thought that for a while but when i bring it up to family they say "you dont have that." The go on to say how i want more attention (im diagnosed for depression and anxiety, any more than that and im attention seeking. And they still think my depression and anxiety is for attention) or find some other half assed reason to not believe menor ignore my issues. So ive never tried to get a professional option for it.

i sometimes think im autistic too, do to some behaviors i have matching with people that are diagnosed with it, but same as my suspension on ADHD i haven't talked to a professional for it. I actually recently grew a pair and set up doctor appointments to try and ask a professional about the possibility of ADHD and autism, but my insurance is non existent now, so any medical anything is off the table for me now and no longer a option i can take without sending myself spiritualing over money, and probably debt. (I live in the U.S. Kansas to be specific on state and my state sucks ass with mental health services)

Money a side, another concern i have for pursuing medical help for my mental health as a whole, is that no one close to me believes me, dosent believe in mental health as a whole, or feel like i dont deserve to "complain". So if i did get diagnosed, it would push me further into isolation in my family, and if i get medication for ADHD or for depression and anxiety again (i hate takeing meds, and no matter how hard i tryed to stay on them i couldn't. People around me including doctors couldn't even give me a reason to continue takeing them.) Everyone around me will think im instantly cured and have no more problems and issues, and then continue to be mad at me when im not cured of all my mental problems...

As much as i want to truly say "fuck this and fuck you." To my family, im not in a position to even leave my room without a reason for it.

P.S.
Thank you! I made it on picrew, i forget the name of it, but it is one of the more popular ones! :3

 

[BrocolliSandwich]

That sounds super tough!

It doesn't really help in the immediate, but things after childhood are different.
As soon as you can, finish highschool, and either head to college (start looking into grants now), or find a basic job.

Soon you'll be under your own steam and making your life the way ya want it!

Difficult living situations can cause ADHD symptoms, but simply being in a super stressful environment will your executive function. The mechanisms why are sort of really cool, and worth researching if you're curious, but in essense if you're constantly being triggered into flight or flight mode/hyperarousal state then your higher brain functions will be limited so you can be more physically alert, and able to defend yourself or run.
I'd definetly check out the books I recommended, but ya simply might be struggling due to a poopy home living situation.

Maybe someone here knows different outreach programs for youth/young adults in Kansas, US?

I wish ya well!

 

[CTB Dream]

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