Why does everyone live when the world is so awful?

[Darkover]

I question why people keep procreating, I can't understand the need, or the drive, to bring an innocent baby into such a cruel world. Even if you're rich and powerful you're subjecting the child to a lifetime of risk and emotional ups and downs, and facing their certain demise, Are the highs really worth the equivalent woes? . To me, having a kid is like putting a tiny human in a room full of toys and venomous snakes. The toys are fun but is it worth the dangers from the snakes? When the kids are young, you spend all your time helping them enjoy the toys but they grow up and you have to leave them to fight the snakes alone

Poverty, war, murder, suicide, environmental degradation, betrayal, sudden death, sickness, deception, rape, natural disasters, terminal illness, suffering pain, mental illness, street crime, old age.

Life is a series of endless suffering. The rich suffers because of their riches. The poor suffers because of their poverty. People having family suffers because they have a family. People without family suffers because of not having family. People with job suffers because of job. People without jobs suffers because of joblessness

 

[The anhedonic one]

Everything good always ends in suffering. We are set up to fail eventually in all aspects of life.
The bad things outweigh the good things by a significant amount. And anything good needs effort to gain it, yet the bad things just happen of their own accord.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I don't understand it either. Still- I was never in the position where I had a partner. Maybe they are so controlled by their hormones, it just blinds their senses. I think people tend to tell themselves they will give their child the best chance in life. But yeah- I don't get it myself. Life is WAY too full of risk to really believe you can protect a child/ person from harm. So- what do they tell themselves? Their child will be made stonger by it? That they'll always be there to support them? The good times will outweigh the bad? I mean- I hope they're right but it's one hell of a gamble.

It's weird. I have so many mixed feelings towards my parents. I love them and I don't feel like I can exactly blame them. I don't think it ever occured to them I would turn out like this. I think it was my Mum who especially wanted children but then- she died when I was 3. On the one hand, I'm sort of happy she got what she wanted. On the other- it contributed to her death. She had cancer and delayed having chemo because of being pregant. (They wrongly diagnosed it beforehand. She didn't knowingly have me after realising she had cancer. I wonder if it would have stopped them...)

But yeah- I look at her picture sometimes and think- I do love you but I wish you'd thought more about it. I wonder if you realise what I'm going to have to do to fix the situation I'm in. Whether I continue to live or I CTB- it's going to be a huge and unwilling struggle. I'm quite frankly terrified either way... I'm sure you didn't want this.

My Dad doesn't know just HOW much I'm struggling but he does realise things are difficult. Sometimes he even says 'sorry'. I think he does actually mean- sorry I brought you into this. I just wish more people would think it through. I can't believe everyone is so blissfully happy that they think their children will be too.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

That's a really good one and I need to think about an answer, it's not easy at all! We certainly have to differentiate here a bit. Most of us gathering here have horrible life experience and many other things (personal reasons) that's killing us and causing us a hard unbearable life according to our personal understanding how our lives should be. But I would say compared to the majority of humans out there, we are still a minority.

For most humans life is not the best but it's not that bad to really think about CTB actively, or at least not reproducing themselves. Although I was born and growing up in a "1st world country" I never had the desire to procreate because I always was worried what happens to an innocent child/teen in the worst case. Now I live in a "developing country" since more than 15 years and poverty is an issue here but people still are proud to produce "football teams" although the country itself is hopelessly overpopulated.

It's the natural desire to reproduce to keep the species alive under any circumstances. But in nowadays society and with good medical conditions infant moratlity is at its lowest point leading to overpolulation because the natural balance is massively disturbed as our own natural way of life is by nowadays societies.

 

[MrDarkness]

Some people are happy with life despite it flaws, we see the world different, everyone does, if they wanna be happy let 'em, I find peace in other people finding peace

 

[Clut]

Loads of people i know seem to think having kids will be the answer to their happiness. Its weird because it rarely turns out like that even though they love their kids they're still miserable

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Loads of people i know seem to think having kids will be the answer to their happiness. Its weird because it rarely turns out like that even though they love their kids they're still miserable

We would have to differentiate here, too. Yes from an evolutioanary point of view this is right because a lot young children can support old parents in terms of the natural needs within the clan living in nature. But nowadays society is not based on nature and our natural needs it's based on "money" and that is the actual problem of all problems.

 

[90starve]

i would never choose to bring a child into this dreadful world.

as a female, i sometimes long for a child - but it is purely instinctual. perhaps this is why so many people choose to conceive. others may consider children because it may give their life purpose.

but looking at it rationally, i personally can't even wrap my head around it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Because they have things going for them that keeps them happy.

 

[conflagration]

People don't care that their children will suffer. They are bringing new life for 100% selfish reasons. E.g. my mother said that she wanted to have second childhood, that's why she decided to have me and my brother. Then she treated me as her emotioanl tampoon through entire childhood, which fucked me for life.
Most people don't really think, they just act on their primal instincts.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

U have no desire to have children neither do I.
Imo it's not a natural desire to have children. One piece of evidence is that birthrates have declined considerably in several countries like Japan and some in Europe.

According to my understanding people in the so called "1st world" / "industrialized countries" understand that having a child might threathen their own lives financially and actually it does (!!), china is facing that problem in particular!

Most of the problems existing in our society have a financial issue on all levels of live whether direct or indiect.

 

[josephk]

There are cognitive & self enhancement biases that evolution has drummed into people. They stop people from seeing the world & themselves as they really are. I suspect that most (me included) on this site dont have them. Without those biases none of us would be here. T.S.Eliot - "Humankind cannot bear very much reality"

 

[SilentSadness]

I don't mind if others choose to live. It's not something they need to justify or think about. Forcing others to exist against their will is the real issue; forcing life upon others is delusional and horrifically selfish. Unfortunately, this society is overwhelmingly pro-life and anti-choice.

 

[FuneralCry]

Those people must be blinded by delusions in order to think it's acceptable to force life into this hellish reality and create so much unnecessary suffering as a result.

Procreation disgusts me as it's something so incredibly harmful, all of the torture that humans have been through is ultimately caused by the fact that they exist in the first place. It's such a terrible punishment having the ability to exist in this world where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly, the non-existent should be left alone in peace, realistically this species should go voluntarily extinct, it's the logical thing to happen.

 

[Resinn66]

Religion is most responsible for this.It has given humanity the illusion of eternal happiness in the afterlife. Procreating is the consequence of this, as well as being a pure selfish act and social status symbol. If religion hadn't existed, we wouldn't have been here talking to each other now, because Humanity would have committed suicide and go extinct long time ago, in my opinion.

 

[josephk]

Schopenhauer pointed out if the act of procreation werent so instinctive & with pleasure built into the act we wouldnt be here. If procreation were based on reason & logic people wouldnt have children. Evolution has stacked things in its favour by making sex pleasurable (for most people)

 

[niki wonoto]

The simple answer is because of our human nature's survival instinct. Human beings will try to do anything to keep surviving, to keep living, no matter what.
In today's modern era, it usually means toxic positivity, optimism bias, & even for supposedly the 'smart' people, they usually fall into rationalizing away everything to sounds positive or hopeful, even when in reality it's not.

The saddest thing about life in my opinion is that there are winners, and there are losers unfortunately.
Some people are lucky, some people are not.
I even admit that yes, there ARE people who are truly, really happy living their lives, whether it's because they're successful, or have loving family, relationships, friendships, or doing something meaningful, purposeful, or even just simply plain content & grateful for this life ("life is a gift!").
But what about people like us here, for example? whom for each different various reasons, somehow just got tired of life?
There should be a painless, easy way out for people who want to exit this life, as we basically also can't choose when we're born in this world. But sadly, our human civilization is still not that advanced yet.

 

[Meteora]

Relating to the title: some don't see the evil. Some haven't understood what's going on here. Some live in their happy bubble. Some are privileged. Some don't care. Some live in an illusion. Some have a strong faith....
Many reasons why.

 

[Nephis]

I question why people keep procreating, I can't understand the need, or the drive, to bring an innocent baby into such a cruel world. Even if you're rich and powerful you're subjecting the child to a lifetime of risk and emotional ups and downs, and facing their certain demise, Are the highs really worth the equivalent woes? . To me, having a kid is like putting a tiny human in a room full of toys and venomous snakes. The toys are fun but is it worth the dangers from the snakes? When the kids are young, you spend all your time helping them enjoy the toys but they grow up and you have to leave them to fight the snakes alone

Poverty, war, murder, suicide, environmental degradation, betrayal, sudden death, sickness, deception, rape, natural disasters, terminal illness, suffering pain, mental illness, street crime, old age.

Life is a series of endless suffering. The rich suffers because of their riches. The poor suffers because of their poverty. People having family suffers because they have a family. People without family suffers because of not having family. People with job suffers because of job. People without jobs suffers because of joblessness

It's the endless struggle to live, that they do, small pleasures and happiness as they live through everyday life, we are blind to such things however, because our lives tend to be so bleak for us who are only crushed under the weight of the world, it's terrible. But even I have love for much of the world, the stars, many of the people.

I have hope for them, I wish for when I die I could give them all happiness and peace, I'd gladly brave those same dangers you speak of because I share that love for much of those good things. I don't mind it, I hope for it, I hope to do that one last good.

~I hope for you, a new love

 

[sad_dude]

Loads of people i know seem to think having kids will be the answer to their happiness. Its weird because it rarely turns out like that even though they love their kids they're still miserable

Agree to this. I happen to live in a place where this is exactly the social norm/belief. Pretty fucked up.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

hormones and emotions, survival instinct, societal brainwashing (mostly).

 

[conarc]

Its really enlightening to see that we are actually the smart and rational people. Societal brainwashing simply dont work on us.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

hormones and emotions, survival instinct, societal brainwashing (mostly).

Yes it's mostly societal brainwashing.

Its really enlightening to see that we are actually the smart and rational people. Societal brainwashing simply dont work on us.

I Agree

 

[Darkover]

When deciding to have a child, they never think of the problems the child will encounter; or what would happen if the child was born with a disability; or whether they have the resources to adequately provide for a child besides food and a bed; or whether they are adding to overpopulation of the planet; or whether they will die unexpectedly and orphan their children; or whether the marriage is strong enough to weather the stress that comes with a new addition to finances, time availability; or what would happen if the marriage disintegrated; or whether depriving your child of the opposite sex parent will affect their psychology, etc. No, they just have an idyllic image in their heads that is so completely removed from reality that they believe it is the only thing that will make life "better".