Why does being calm unnerve people?

[Kramer]

There are rare times where I feel absolutely nothing which manifests as calmness. A woman I met several years ago commented on my calmness, but she said it in a kind of anxious way. It was weird since men are expected to be stoic.

 

[WornOutLife]

Because they feel like there's a protection being provided by you! A calm being is a trustworthy person.


At least that's what society thinks, even though you might be a serial killer.

 

[Kramer]

Because they feel like there's a protection being provided by you! A calm being is a trustworthy person.


At least that's what society thinks, even though you might be a serial killer.

If I was a source of protection, why was she uncomfortable as she said it?

 

[aeon]

Hannibal Lecter always seems calm, but some women can still feel that something is off with him :)

 

[Kramer]

Hanibal Lecter always seems calm, but some women can still feel that something is off with him :)

So it's about a vibe. Hmm. How do I have normal vibes? I feel like being abused as a child gave me the mark of Cain or something lol

 

[OrdinaryDay]

From my personal observations I've noticed that sometimes people reflect on your behaviour. I had many cases when I was just trying to mind my own business and not bother my surroundings much and some people would say stuff like "you're very quiet is everything okay" or act in weird ways. If there is someone who feels uneasy about me being quite I can feel that awkwardness and then I start feeling awkward too lol. I miss those times when interacting with other people wasn't so painful *sigh

 

[Nymph]

Idk I think chill/calm ppl are cool. I'm always anxious and stressed so it's nice

 

[stygal]

From my personal observations I've noticed that sometimes people reflect on your behaviour. I had many cases when I was just trying to mind my own business and not bother my surroundings much and some people would say stuff like "you're very quiet is everything okay" or act in weird ways. If there is someone who feels uneasy about me being quite I can feel that awkwardness and then I start feeling awkward too lol. I miss those times when interacting with other people wasn't so painful *sigh

Yes.
Since other people are so hyperemotional about the littlest of things they want to not feel weird about it and guilt trip you with their: "how can you be so calm?"
"you seem so quiet" "have you got nothing to add?"
Really annoying.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Yes.
Since other people are so hyperemotional about the littlest of things they want to not feel weird about it and guilt trip you with their: "how can you be so calm?"
"you seem so quiet" "have you got nothing to add?"
Really annoying.

Since things are getting this far it would be unnatural to remain silent so you just give up and interact with them about whatever is bothering them. Which means they win lol

 

[Ghost2211]

I know the vibe she was referring to I think. Calm means chill and relaxed.... I think what you're describing is void of emotion, which can make you harder for people to read and as such uncomfortable.

 

[EnnuiCat]

Calmness to me appears confident but I guess other factors come into play. I've always wished to appear more calm (and confident) in social situations. I'm either distant, dismissive and quiet due to my anxieties or I'm overcompensating with forced self-deprecating humor, also due to my anxieties. I've never been able to find that comfortable middle-ground. In both cases my discomfort is evident. At least to me.

 

[Nimbus]

I really think this thread should be moved under Offtopic. This is not a suicide discussion.

 

[Kramer]

From my personal observations I've noticed that sometimes people reflect on your behaviour. I had many cases when I was just trying to mind my own business and not bother my surroundings much and some people would say stuff like "you're very quiet is everything okay" or act in weird ways. If there is someone who feels uneasy about me being quite I can feel that awkwardness and then I start feeling awkward too lol. I miss those times when interacting with other people wasn't so painful *sigh

Women ive been acquainted with in the past would always observe my behavior and make a comment. It was so infuriating

I know the vibe she was referring to I think. Calm means chill and relaxed.... I think what you're describing is void of emotion, which can make you harder for people to read and as such uncomfortable.

Yeah I have a blank face even when I'm anxious