Why do you want to kill yourself?

[violetdevil]

.

 

[Huntfish34]

My reasons are many, but a few of them are...... Self hatred, anxiety, depression, self worth, resentments, relationships..... Life on life's terms in general. FML. - I'm Done.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because existing is completely undesirable in every way, I see existence itself as being the true problem, it's a terrible burden having the ability to suffer endlessly.

Only non-existence is what appeals to me, it's what I would prefer to slowly decaying from age and suffering in the process, existence is just unnecessary in general and a horrific mistake, in my case wanting to die is simply being aware of how futile and harmful existence truly is. I find it tiring just being awake trapped within my own thoughts, I prefer the sound of permanent peace.

 

[Kawaii_Shoujo215]

For me it's a mixture of chronic pain, hypersensitivity to bodily sensations (making even just standing around "existing" unbearable), and a general disgust and hatred of life as a concept, the fundamental aspects of living such as bodily needs, conflict, violence and brutality, diseases, etc etc...
I just don't see the price I have to pay (in suffering currency) as being worth the measly "benefits" that I don't want anyway. I don't want happiness and pleasure, I just want peace.

 

[ctb-soon]

I am surprised financial reasons are so important

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Mental illness. OCD, intrusive thoughts and some Trauma, though the trauma wasn't that bad OCD made it worse. Also just never really liked life that much and am in my 30s. I've lived enough in my honest opinion and there is no lying to myself about it.

 

[GasMonkey]

Genetics + Environment.

 

[todiefor]

I am surprised financial reasons are so important

When your basic quality of life cannot be met due to financial stress, it makes everything in life extremely difficult

 

[nopeaceofmind]

Nihilism, Self Hate, Loneliness.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

After many attempts I can't get it right, but if I could point out the reasons I want to die Ugliness,failed marriage,anxiety,depression,PTSD, panic/anxiety attacks, self hatred, Nihilism and modern society beliefs and force ideologies.

 

[ApparentlyNot]

I feel like we shouldn't have lumped together physical and mental illness, but this is still interesting to see

 

[violetdevil]

I feel like we shouldn't have lumped together physical and mental illness, but this is still interesting to see

Yes but I couldn't fit enough choices so I just put it together

 

[Arihman]

For many reasons (in no particular order):

1. I don't want to work to maintain a life I didn't consent to, and one that I despise, especially to only get 2 days of rest per week while always being burdened by the thought that I will need to return to work anyway, and then getting to enjoy freedom from work only after growing old and weaker and weaker;
2. I don't want to get some really horrible sickness in the future, and unfortunately chances are I will since I smoke and I am an alcoholic;
3. Relationships in general suck, chances are you're going to end up alone sooner or later, and if you're an antinatalist or Efilist it's going to be even harder unless you put a mask on;
4. "Romantic" love sucks hard (though that's a minor point, since I largely got rid of my previous need for a woman's affection), and you won't get the anime girl you would like to have, as "love" is merely a prostitution contract and a power struggle between two individuals;
5. I don't want to live in a world where pro-lifers exist. To me at least most of them are complete and total scumbags who deserve the worst, and that's it;
6. Likewise, religious kooks are imbeciles who I also don't want to share this planet with, and since I can't blow it up, I will have to go first;
7. Life is merely an addiction game where you either likely won't get what you want/need, or your needs are going to be replaced by other needs due to you eventually getting bored of what you previously gained, meaning you're unlikely to get real, lasting satisfaction at the end of the day;
8. Due to himans believing in fables, antinatalism and Efilism are unlikely to make any real progress in my lifetime (unless some Efilist gets enough power to blow up this shithole), and I'm not motivated/functional enough to fight for the cause anyway.
9. The dead can't desire life, but the living can indeed desire death, and even when you are happy, life can still easily (and at any time) become bad enough to the point of making you wish for death;

 

[mistake22]

Find peace from this hell

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Love

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Mainly, end of relationship, loneliness, and trauma. The relationship ending is the most recent and crushed me, along with the loneliness that followed. The trauma is the past but I'm not over it yet. I'm honestly scared of myself sometimes because I have a shotgun (not of harming anyone else, just myself). I can simply pull it out, load it, and pull the trigger. It's only a .410 but a shotgun is a shotgun and it'll get the job done if needed.

I sincerely, truly hope it never comes to that. Although I do fear it might, although that may be caused by seeing an ex's post just now on an account I thought I blocked of her boyfriend and her. Maybe wanting to do it over one girl is stupid but I feel like she was my life and I'm down in the dumps tonight. I haven't visited suicide discussion in over a week I think, but here I am again…

 

[Alcor]

I'm unemployed broke and generally a failure I've been struggling with suicide ideation since I was like 10. I lost my grandmother, the sweetest woman I will have ever known, to cancer and my little brother to a motorcycle accident. I failed them big time especially my brother and I truly would take death over that feeling any day. My ADHD and self hate makes it unbelievably hard to be productive in pretty much any capacity. Struggling with the feeling of loneliness and knowing at the same time I'm not. I could go on but I think that covers enough.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm unemployed broke and generally a failure I've been struggling with suicide ideation since I was like 10. I lost my grandmother, the sweetest woman I will have ever known, to cancer and my little brother to a motorcycle accident. I failed them big time especially my brother and I truly would take death over that feeling any day. My ADHD and self hate makes it unbelievably hard to be productive in pretty much any capacity. Struggling with the feeling of loneliness and knowing at the same time I'm not. I could go on but I think that covers enough.

I am sorry you've been through this, I feel like I can sorta relate. I basically lost my grandma to cancer (she had pneumonia which sent her to the hospital and we didn't know why it made her so sick, only to find out she had stage 3 or 4 lung cancer on top of pneumonia, and she didn't last long after going to the hospital). I also have ADHD and it makes me struggle in terms of college ever single day.

Virtual hugs for you :)

 

[fated to die]

mental illness

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Because the human race is a disgusting species and I no longer want to be a part of it. Everything is a scam and the internet has runied society.

 

[Alcor]

I am sorry you've been through this, I feel like I can sorta relate. I basically lost my grandma to cancer (she had pneumonia which sent her to the hospital and we didn't know why it made her so sick, only to find out she had stage 3 or 4 lung cancer on top of pneumonia, and she didn't last long after going to the hospital). I also have ADHD and it makes me struggle in terms of college ever single day.

Virtual hugs for you :)

Thank you and I'm sorry for your loss as well

 

[ctb-soon]

It has always been a when not an if, and the when is getting closer. and I am happy

 

[leloyon]

My life has been, and is, terrible, and it seems things will only continue to get worse.
Both of my parents have clinical depression, as well as other mental illnesses that they don't share, but I have been unfortunate enough to both inherit and have to suffer the negative effects of being raised by the sufferer of such illnesses. You know what helps a child avoid developing depression that they're already at an above-average risk for due to genetics? Having them raised by two parents who have irregular sleep patterns due to mental illness (insomnia for my mother, hypersomnia for my father, and he stays awake all night only to sleep during the day anyway) so that they're never awake to look after the child. Did you know child neglect is credited as the trigger for most mental illnesses? How about a brother with anger issues as well, so said child is constantly on edge around them?
As a result, I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, before I even knew what the word was, let alone knew how to identify or understand what I was going through, I have been paranoid and anxious for just as long, I have so many different symptoms that I don't even know what else I might have. I have no friends, no job, no hopes of getting any job, no hopes of any sort of decent future. I hate myself, my body, my personality, my family, the people around me, my city and my country, as well as the people in it.
On top of that, I was the perpetrator of an objectively victimless crime (I would rather not say what, though I will say that it wasn't anything violent, sexual or financial) that caused the police to pretty much ruin any chances for me. The amount of things I lost due to them are so great that "loss" is not an emotion I even feel anymore, when it used to be one of the emotions I felt most strongly. My experience with them has also further traumatised me, I have shown symptoms of PTSD as well as dissociation as a result of them, these symptoms did not exist prior, as well as exacerbating the symptoms I showed prior to them showing up. They violated my rights, blew everything out of proportion and even lied to me and broke the law based on said lies, such as claiming they could enter my home without a warrant at any time unannounced and promised that they would, weekly, until I realised that this was a blatant lie and that they could not legally do this and told them to fuck off. I now have a criminal record for a crime that inherently doesn't have any victims involved and was committed when I was a minor, yet will be on my record for life.
I have accepted that I cannot be happy. I, as myself, this current individual, cannot be satisfied. I have been doomed to a life of despair, trapped in a situation where I will forever be dependent on people who I can't trust, don't have my best interests in mind and will only lead me to further trauma, as a result of the mental illnesses that they caused which render me unable to escape and make something of myself. The only way I could have been happy was if I was born as a girl in a different, more civil place, perhaps even in a different time where things seemed less bleak. This cannot happen without a miracle. There is only one way out.

 

[jbear824]

Going to be permanently homeless before the year is over. And my two best friends, a 65 year old woman and my partner who is on the autism spectrum and isn't capable of being independent, I can't save them from it. I can't prevent the suffering that is going to come with extreme poverty and homelessness. which means I am going to have to watch them suffer. and I can't cope with that and would rather just die now.

I feel so trapped into living a life that has nothing but suffering ahead. Because I love these people so much and can't just leave them behind. And that trapped feeling, ironically is what's making me want to die. That and a life of destitution.

 

[iDieUDie80]

I have a lot of mental health problems but especially as a consequence stemming from legal prosecution. I would put up with my mental anguish if I ultimately get the legal outcome I need.

 

[enough of this]

My life has been, and is, terrible, and it seems things will only continue to get worse.
Both of my parents have clinical depression, as well as other mental illnesses that they don't share, but I have been unfortunate enough to both inherit and have to suffer the negative effects of being raised by the sufferer of such illnesses. You know what helps a child avoid developing depression that they're already at an above-average risk for due to genetics? Having them raised by two parents who have irregular sleep patterns due to mental illness (insomnia for my mother, hypersomnia for my father, and he stays awake all night only to sleep during the day anyway) so that they're never awake to look after the child. Did you know child neglect is credited as the trigger for most mental illnesses? How about a brother with anger issues as well, so said child is constantly on edge around them?
As a result, I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, before I even knew what the word was, let alone knew how to identify or understand what I was going through, I have been paranoid and anxious for just as long, I have so many different symptoms that I don't even know what else I might have. I have no friends, no job, no hopes of getting any job, no hopes of any sort of decent future. I hate myself, my body, my personality, my family, the people around me, my city and my country, as well as the people in it.
On top of that, I was the perpetrator of an objectively victimless crime (I would rather not say what, though I will say that it wasn't anything violent, sexual or financial) that caused the police to pretty much ruin any chances for me. The amount of things I lost due to them are so great that "loss" is not an emotion I even feel anymore, when it used to be one of the emotions I felt most strongly. My experience with them has also further traumatised me, I have shown symptoms of PTSD as well as dissociation as a result of them, these symptoms did not exist prior, as well as exacerbating the symptoms I showed prior to them showing up. They violated my rights, blew everything out of proportion and even lied to me and broke the law based on said lies, such as claiming they could enter my home without a warrant at any time unannounced and promised that they would, weekly, until I realised that this was a blatant lie and that they could not legally do this and told them to fuck off. I now have a criminal record for a crime that inherently doesn't have any victims involved and was committed when I was a minor, yet will be on my record for life.
I have accepted that I cannot be happy. I, as myself, this current individual, cannot be satisfied. I have been doomed to a life of despair, trapped in a situation where I will forever be dependent on people who I can't trust, don't have my best interests in mind and will only lead me to further trauma, as a result of the mental illnesses that they caused which render me unable to escape and make something of myself. The only way I could have been happy was if I was born as a girl in a different, more civil place, perhaps even in a different time where things seemed less bleak. This cannot happen without a miracle. There is only one way out.

No, I didn't know child neglect is credited as the trigger for most mental illnesses. But I'm not surprised. It probably has a lot to do with mine, in addition to the abuse (any kind you can think of, I had it. Yes, that, too). I, also, have PTSD and dissociation. They've been with me all my life. I'm sick of living this way. I don't even consider it "living."

I'm sorry you haven't found a way to find happiness and satisfaction. I can find them in little things here and there. But they're not long-lasting - just fleeting moments. My old survival regimen always seems to find a way to keep me from finding true happiness. I think there's only one way out, too. I wish us both peace.

 

[wastingpotential]

all options listed above except for two/three (depends on what we mean by lgbt issues, people around me are usually supportive but laws are a motherfucker regardless)