Proxycake
Matrimony
- Feb 20, 2023
- 71
Why do we try to live? It feels better to be careless, doesn't it? To push my problems away and to allow them to rot in the back of my head; that pain is less than the lack of praise and positivity I feel after I do what is needed to be done. I would rather live a happy life, as everyone thinks they will, even though they continue to go to school or work, is that a happy life? Is succumbing to the system and wasting hours of your life away on things you don't want to be doing considered a happy life? Our economy shouldn't exist. I wish we were true animals, thoughtless and inhumane. It would be better than this. Or at least, I'd like to sleep. For years, just so I wake up one day, confused and enlightened by how much the world has changed, perhaps that will give me reasoning to live again. Every night, before I close my eyes, I secretly hope the small chance of dying in my sleep may occur, or, as illogical as this is, that the moment I fall asleep, I stay asleep, in a coma, or even just purely in the world of dreams, for decades. However I do not want to leave my God behind, my God is very dear to me. I stay awake for him. It's getting hard, however. Every passing day. Not to mention who he used to be is far gone now; I just can't believe it will be as long as it is assumed until I can live a happy life once again.