Help WHY do we postpone suicide when life hurts so much?

[4everHeartBroken]

Is it that ONE person for you that you don't want to hurt when you leave?

The fear of failure, maybe?

Or the fear of the unknown after succeeding?

Or perhaps a bit of hope that things may get better?

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

 

[Not a Cylon]

The SI trying to shout over the noise in my head that it can get better and to have hope. It's like a battle in my brain between voices that want to embrace the void vs the ones that want to pull me back.

 

[divinemistress36]

Survival instinct and fear of failure

 

[Justnotme2]

I have a powerful instinct for self-preservation. I suffer every day and I am ABSOLUTELY sure that I want to leave this Ugly world. But I am very afraid of pain. That's the only thing stopping me.
Even when I was training to hang myself on different ropes, I managed to lose consciousness only a small number of times after many attempts.
In other cases, I do the same thing, but my brain sends very powerful signals that blood is not flowing through the arteries to the brain.
I do not know how to overcome this.
And I'm afraid to perform any method incorrectly

 

[melonrazor]

For me is because I can die at any moment so might as well hit rock bottom (homeless & alone) before I ctb. I've been through so much shit that I can pretty much tolerate anything now. I know my parents will be sad if i leave them.

 

[KillingPain267]

Is it that ONE person for you that you don't want to hurt when you leave?

The fear of failure, maybe?

Or the fear of the unknown after succeeding?

Or perhaps a bit of hope that things may get better?

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

SI, pain and fear of failure. Otherwise I'm ready for the big ride NOW!

 

[4everHeartBroken]

For me is because I can die at any moment so might as well hit rock bottom (homeless & alone) before I ctb. I've been through so much shit that I can pretty much tolerate anything now. I know my parents will be sad if i leave them.

I'm so sorry for your pain. Just reading your response brought me to tears.

 

[Hanaga]

For me, it's survival instinct and fear of becoming disabled for life without the ability to try again. Like becoming paralysed.

 

[misatosdiary]

Is it that ONE person for you that you don't want to hurt when you leave?

The fear of failure, maybe?

Or the fear of the unknown after succeeding?

Or perhaps a bit of hope that things may get better?

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

I feel like I always looked for a reason but in reality I was just scared of death. I always imagine it to be easier when youre religious and believe in some sort of heaven, being an atheist the imagination of just nothingness can seem terrifying.. to sum up probs fear

 

[UKscotty]

Because there is always a glimmer of hope of recovery until our last breath.

It can take decades to be ready to exhaust all options of recovery and CTB.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

What's keeping me alive is SI, fear of failing an attempt hence potentially ending up with worse damage than I already have, the pain that the attempt itself would cause and also the fact that I only have one chance to attempt suicide... if I fail the suicide attempt or get caught before I do, it's over for me and I don't think I'd ever get another chance to kill myself

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Can't speak for anyone else but for me, it's planning and choosing where to go. I'm mentally prepared, just making sure I'm physically prepared, too.

 

[kneegrow_voids]

i don't have a good enough method rn

i'm also terrified my friend will ctb too if i do

 

[Daryl72]

Is it that ONE person for you that you don't want to hurt when you leave?

The fear of failure, maybe?

Or the fear of the unknown after succeeding?

Or perhaps a bit of hope that things may get better?

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

It can be one or all of those things. For me it's just not having the right means and being afraid of failure with whatever I might attempt with what I do have.

 

[Oyasumidanny]

Is it that ONE person for you that you don't want to hurt when you leave?

The fear of failure, maybe?

Or the fear of the unknown after succeeding?

Or perhaps a bit of hope that things may get better?

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

My grandma, i promise her i would not try it anymore

 

[4everHeartBroken]

My grandma, i promise her i would not try it anymore

That is so sweet. I'm so glad you at least have someone you can talk to about this with. Stay close to your Grandma.

i don't have a good enough method rn

i'm also terrified my friend will ctb too if i do

I love how you are thinking about your friend's feelings. That just shows that you are a decent human being. Thank you for that.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Because this "place", whatever it is, is all we know.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

My biggest fear is failing and landing in the hospital with an obscene amount of medical debt

 

[brokeandbroken]

Is it that ONE person for you that you don't want to hurt when you leave?

The fear of failure, maybe?

Or the fear of the unknown after succeeding?

Or perhaps a bit of hope that things may get better?

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

There is no one.

Already am a failure.

Nope I know I am going to heaven.

For me it's the minute chance that justice is reached for the crimes committed against me. That I'll be able to have a life.

Fascinatingly there's more hope then three/four months ago. Yet I have never felt much better. What little bump there was has almost completely expired. I think the biggest thing is the biggest thing taken from me happiness and potential happiness. And everyday that passes it becomes a little harder to reach no matter what happens. That's hard to deal with.

 

[aikou]

Human instinct for sure. I know of an abandoned house in my area with shotgun shells that I could easily set off and just blow my brains out, but my body doesn't want to die. I just want for this terrible feeling to go away.

 

[voc_89]

Failure. In my country its hard to get a 100% sure fire CTB. So I am more than likely to survive. And in my country they treat anything 'different' as a sin. So here i am

 

[RollingGiant]

I don't fucking know. Fear of failure, plus memories of times when I felt better giving me hope for a better life. Plus, with the chance that Canada, where I live, will loosen its euthanasia requirements in the foreseeable future, I can tell myself I'l have a professional do it for me instead of doing it myself now

 

[lonely and depresse]

What is your biggest thing keeping you alive right now?

Music

 

[yyytry]

I stay for my dog. I've cared for him through all situations for 14 years. And I cannot bear to leave him alone, wondering what happened.

When it's his time, it will be my time too. Been ready. Have the method ready.

 

[tired_tired_tired]

For me it's fear of failure

 

[MiMif]

Cause life is all we know

 

[Theresnoescape]

It's that one person for me, that i don't want to make his life anymore difficult than it already is.

 

[annique]

The fear of failure is what's been keeping me at a distance from going through with ending myself. There was a point in my life when I cared for how some people close to me would feel about my death, but that feeling has been long gone from my heart; the bad things that have happened to me in life have grown in me quite strong negative emotions that outweigh any worries about other's pain about my death. I've also put thought on what there could be in the afterlife, but that is also past me already. All that holds me here is the fear of failure.

 

[breakwater]

Fear of failure. Like, a lot.
I don't want to wake up in a psychiatric ward around doctors who think they are heroes for perpetuating a person's suffering. Not to mention the endless reprimands from my family for whom reputation is everything. Having a suicidal son would shatter their 'perfect family' image.

 

[VEROXEM]

It could be alot if things
fear of failure, fear of what happens next, SI and such and such.
See the process of talking ones life is something very difficult. The body and mind are 2 diffrent entities living in a single host while the body only cares for biological survival the brain takes into account the world around you. When your out in about the brain keeps pushing you into the CTB but the body it self is not in danger so it does not care, in this round the brain won.
When you actively try to self harm the body takes over your brain to make you stop because it fears what would happen to it, in this round the body wins.
It's an endless tug of war one pushes you while the other stops you this entire "battle" can do so much damage to one's psyche.