I wanna know your opinion and why you think we get to a point where our brains believe ctb is better then continuing this life. We all have suffered and are suffering greatly, I just want to know others opinions.
soonatpeace777888
Specialist
- Jul 4, 2023
- 349
Too me, the pain just massively outweighs the pleasure. I don't like anything left in life. Girls, food, drugs, movies, music ect... all boring now. Then I have my trauma and my ocd and having to work... why continue if I don't want to?
cherrycokehellcat
Member
- Jul 25, 2023
- 7
I think you only have so much energy to keep going and once that goes out you're just running on empty.
So much can just drain a person of their drive. Chronic health conditions, mental health conditions, a traumatic event, multiple traumatic events, past trauma, etc.
I think that people can not have the urge to ctb and not get to that point if something is recharging their energy enough.
I think you can only be so exhausted or hurt for so long or so severely before you just snap and give up and see death as better than any future possibility. Sometimes it's an abrupt snap and sometimes it just slowly comes on and builds over time until the weight of the exhaustion is unbearable.
So much can just drain a person of their drive. Chronic health conditions, mental health conditions, a traumatic event, multiple traumatic events, past trauma, etc.
I think that people can not have the urge to ctb and not get to that point if something is recharging their energy enough.
I think you can only be so exhausted or hurt for so long or so severely before you just snap and give up and see death as better than any future possibility. Sometimes it's an abrupt snap and sometimes it just slowly comes on and builds over time until the weight of the exhaustion is unbearable.
Exactly, I've said the bad in my life outweighs the good. And even though I haven't been as happy and as successful in my personal and professional life as I would have liked, I've done all of the things you list except drugs, and none of them interests me. People don't interest me.
I can relate majorly. My father asks why I'm never out looking for women. I'm attracted to woman but just don't care to find any as nothing brings any sort of happiness to me.
I agree with this very much
locked*n*loaded
Archangel
- Apr 15, 2022
- 7,258
For me, there's just nothing in life to look forward to, unless you call being alone, growing old, getting a horrendous disease of some sort, having a bunch of physical pain, and ending up in a nursing home, eventually, worth continuing life for. I don't have any happiness in my life and am unable to get any, I don't get any enjoyment out of anything anymore, each day is just the same old shit, and there's no doubt my best years, not that there were very many, but my best years are very much in the rear view mirror. Additionally, this world is a horrid place and is not going to get better. At this stage I'm just hanging around for no good reason and taking up resources and space. I won't be hurting anyone by going since I have no one. There's just no reason to hang around to see how this movie of my life ends. I don't like this movie, anyway. If I don't like a movie, I get up and leave.
GasMonkey
Nitrogen Master Race
- May 15, 2022
- 1,881
I would like to keep living but life doesn't want me to.
My thinking is clear, I know myself, I know I can withstand a ton, but like the song says, it's just too heavy for Superman to lift.
"If I don't like a movie, I get up and leave" I couldn't say it better myself.
lostmeaning
Member
- May 25, 2023
- 39
Genetics and environment like GasMonkey said, and personality. Bad childhood/parents, never had friends or support, never fit in in school too quiet, traumatic event, lots of financial stress being on my own early on. But the final straw that has got me to the point where I am really serious about it is because of my mild social anxiety, or whatever it is that makes me not normal. I'm too quiet, bad at talking, don't fit in with most people. I've worked since high school and my current job is ok, but I am still very aware of how I am and how it has been such a theme in my life, that I am the issue, and there's nothing I can do about it. I guess these past few months this has really become apparent to me, I can't do it anymore. I want to live, but I can't do it like this, I am not built to function in society. I will always have more trouble fitting in in the world, and you need to fit in at work to survive and be happy. I'm on my own, so I'm not waiting till the point I'm homeless and have no way out especially as a woman I won't make it like that, I don't even see it as an option. I only have one parent that may let me stay with them if it came to that, but if it came to that I am not going to be well enough to go back and start all over again, and my parents for sure are not willing to take care of me financially. My reality is because of this it's not possible for me to live a normal, happy life. None of it has been so far either. I could continue and see what happens, but I know I can't handle anymore and can barely function to work at this point, just waiting until I can ctb.
People say ctb is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, that doesn't apply to my situation. If I choose to live I will end up homeless, or live a life of constant struggle, suffering and isolation. I've looked into it and it's pretty clear that the way I am is not something that ever goes away, even with therapy and medication, even with more exposure. I would have to keep struggling and coping, trying to be a tiny bit better my entire life, and I know I definitely cannot handle that on top of all the other stresses of life.
People say ctb is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, that doesn't apply to my situation. If I choose to live I will end up homeless, or live a life of constant struggle, suffering and isolation. I've looked into it and it's pretty clear that the way I am is not something that ever goes away, even with therapy and medication, even with more exposure. I would have to keep struggling and coping, trying to be a tiny bit better my entire life, and I know I definitely cannot handle that on top of all the other stresses of life.
For me I am suffering and I know my future is one of immense and extraordinary suffering. I have literally nothing in my life worth living for. No family, no career, no kids, no partner, no friends, no pets, nothing. Everything was stolen from me. Yet I wouldn't say I am depressed. I have the capacity to be happy. There's just nothing to be happy about. I am desirous of escaping from the immense suffering in my future. Because my past 29 years have been not good, pretty bad and my future is worse. I feel like humanity had the *opportunity* to show me that I should not only trust in it, but stick around. That maybe just maybe human beings aren't as terrible as I think they are. Instead I got shown nope society is even more terrible then I thought. My mistake. I was too optimistic about the world.
God this is eloquent. Precisely.
EndJstifiesTheMeans
Bad english, didn't go to school sorry
- May 14, 2023
- 448
Already Gone6
Member
- Jul 31, 2023
- 77
For me, years of nothing but pain, regret and failure.
I'm not gonna lie i'm scared to ctb. But I am even more scared of being here next year and things only being worse.
I'm not gonna lie i'm scared to ctb. But I am even more scared of being here next year and things only being worse.
bluesoapyskies
Member
- Aug 4, 2023
- 48
i tried to have hope for a while. after some failed attempts, i really worked hard to find some sort of reason to continue on. but it never came. things only got worse.
overall if i could sum it up, id say that i just cant "adapt". no matter how hard i try, i can never seem to fit in well with others or make good friends. physically and mentally, i have too many problems. i tried to fight back but my efforts didn't get me far. overall im just tired. tired of fighting to live in a world where i clearly dont belong. i know that sounds corny ahah but its true. it gets really exhausting after a while.
overall if i could sum it up, id say that i just cant "adapt". no matter how hard i try, i can never seem to fit in well with others or make good friends. physically and mentally, i have too many problems. i tried to fight back but my efforts didn't get me far. overall im just tired. tired of fighting to live in a world where i clearly dont belong. i know that sounds corny ahah but its true. it gets really exhausting after a while.
KowakuNaiNeko
Member
- Aug 5, 2023
- 66
I reached the point where I wanted to leave my job but didn't know what other jobs I wanted to do. This eventually led me to the conclusion that even though there are things that I could do in life that I would definitely enjoy I didn't want to put in the time working (a job or working on myself) necessary to do any of those things. A score of 0 is better than a score of -10.
SolomonKado
This is taking too long…
- Jul 4, 2023
- 424
From my experiences in life I have come to a conclusion.
Because of chronic pain and mental issues It's almost impossible to get out of bed some days.
Work was causing me to be a zombie when I got home everyday because throughout the day supervisors treated everyone like mules and worked us till we could barely stand. I rested in my evenings and days off because of the exhaustion. Due to this I alienated from everyone because of it.
Along with how people are treated like they are less than dirt. The management gets away with it because people are to afraid what will happen if you speak up. I've seen a few people together speak up and they were told "We will take care of it." Amazingly it kept happening. I have also seen higher ups tell people not to report something when it was illegal to what they did.
That was about 14 years of my life. I have much more, but I feel exhausted. No life left in me to function. I am actually afraid to be around people.
I got "let go" from my job and the past 4 months I have only left once a month to pick up a grocery order. Along with no visitors. I am afraid of the one thing that populates the earth because of how I've been treated and what's all happened to me. I really broke. I stopped having faith in "things will get better."
Because of chronic pain and mental issues It's almost impossible to get out of bed some days.
Work was causing me to be a zombie when I got home everyday because throughout the day supervisors treated everyone like mules and worked us till we could barely stand. I rested in my evenings and days off because of the exhaustion. Due to this I alienated from everyone because of it.
Along with how people are treated like they are less than dirt. The management gets away with it because people are to afraid what will happen if you speak up. I've seen a few people together speak up and they were told "We will take care of it." Amazingly it kept happening. I have also seen higher ups tell people not to report something when it was illegal to what they did.
That was about 14 years of my life. I have much more, but I feel exhausted. No life left in me to function. I am actually afraid to be around people.
I got "let go" from my job and the past 4 months I have only left once a month to pick up a grocery order. Along with no visitors. I am afraid of the one thing that populates the earth because of how I've been treated and what's all happened to me. I really broke. I stopped having faith in "things will get better."
MidnightGloom
my happiest moment will be my death
- Jul 28, 2023
- 31
While there is still something for me to look forward to, the pleasure it brings to me is far less than the constant pain. For me, it is unbearable living in a society where only I know who I am, and to live in a world where nobody understands me is a humiliating and daunting pain. The fact that people constantly respond to my agony as "life is hard/unfair, get over it" just makes me realize that people are suffering too much to genuinely care about the issues of another person.
Even so, if there was somebody who you never talked to yet you suddenly learn they want to die, what would you do? Those who aren't suicidal cannot fully comprehend what we are going through no matter how hard they try. They will always say that there's another way, or that there are people who care for you, etc. I feel I've gotten to this point because everybody is so desperate to stop us from cbting, that they don't stop for a moment to think of what we're actually going through. Nobody cares until they see you at the breaking point, and then they suddenly believe they can become your savior.
Even so, if there was somebody who you never talked to yet you suddenly learn they want to die, what would you do? Those who aren't suicidal cannot fully comprehend what we are going through no matter how hard they try. They will always say that there's another way, or that there are people who care for you, etc. I feel I've gotten to this point because everybody is so desperate to stop us from cbting, that they don't stop for a moment to think of what we're actually going through. Nobody cares until they see you at the breaking point, and then they suddenly believe they can become your savior.
I think very basically- it's because we have enough brain power to realise that our lives aren't worth living. I think- as a species, we have more ability to use the thinking part of the brain to overcome the instinctual part. Not that many animals commit suicide- that we know of.
Maybe part of the 'problem' is that we have evolved to be natural problem solvers but- I suppose suicidal people have come to the realisation that we can't fix our problems. Not to the extent where we would feel satisfied anyhow. Maybe I have an idealised view of animals and I'm sure there are exceptions but I think animals at least appear to accept their lot better than humans do. We tend to feel more bitter, resentful, upset and angry when things don't go our way. We dwell on things.
As to why not all humans become suicidal- I don't know. I have to wonder just how many people have at least considered it at some stage. Still, I guess some people can still find things in life that make it worthwhile.
Perhaps part of it is mental illness- like depression. Becoming trapped in a negative cycle of thinking. I don't think that's always the case though.
I wonder how much of it is emotionally driven. I think what a lot of suicidal people do though is- take a step back from their lives and realise that their pain outweighs the pleasure. I wonder if the decision to commit suicide comes more from this appraisal of life rather than out of the thick of emotional despair. In which case- I would argue that it has more to do with logic- rather than impulsiveness. I think it quite often takes an intense, negative emotional experience to get us to the point where we start asking the question: 'Is life really worth it?' But- what comes after is often a reasoned appraisal I would say.
You see it here enough- people talking through what has brought them here. Why life has turned out so badly and why they don't think they can turn things around. I think suicidal ideation is in fact far more of a rational way of thinking than pro-lifers would want to accept. If someone's life is terrible and they can't see a way to fix it- why wouldn't they want out?!!
Maybe part of the 'problem' is that we have evolved to be natural problem solvers but- I suppose suicidal people have come to the realisation that we can't fix our problems. Not to the extent where we would feel satisfied anyhow. Maybe I have an idealised view of animals and I'm sure there are exceptions but I think animals at least appear to accept their lot better than humans do. We tend to feel more bitter, resentful, upset and angry when things don't go our way. We dwell on things.
As to why not all humans become suicidal- I don't know. I have to wonder just how many people have at least considered it at some stage. Still, I guess some people can still find things in life that make it worthwhile.
Perhaps part of it is mental illness- like depression. Becoming trapped in a negative cycle of thinking. I don't think that's always the case though.
I wonder how much of it is emotionally driven. I think what a lot of suicidal people do though is- take a step back from their lives and realise that their pain outweighs the pleasure. I wonder if the decision to commit suicide comes more from this appraisal of life rather than out of the thick of emotional despair. In which case- I would argue that it has more to do with logic- rather than impulsiveness. I think it quite often takes an intense, negative emotional experience to get us to the point where we start asking the question: 'Is life really worth it?' But- what comes after is often a reasoned appraisal I would say.
You see it here enough- people talking through what has brought them here. Why life has turned out so badly and why they don't think they can turn things around. I think suicidal ideation is in fact far more of a rational way of thinking than pro-lifers would want to accept. If someone's life is terrible and they can't see a way to fix it- why wouldn't they want out?!!
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,966
Because after all wishing for suicide is what I see as being perfectly logical, it's just one having awareness. I see suicide as being the best way to die as it's on our own terms, it repluses me the thought of enduring this futile and empty existence for decades on end, suffering more as time goes on just to slowly decay and be tortured by old age, I see it as being irrational wishing to suffer in this dreadful world where one risks experiencing much worse agony at any moment.
And I don't understand what supposedly makes existence desirable and appealing in the first place or something worth enduring, even if there was no extreme suffering, existence would still be tiresome and a burden for me, there's something so dreadful to being trapped in a decaying flesh prison that we are slaves to, I just prefer the sound of eternal non-existence, I wish I never existed and I've never wished to exist at all.
And I don't understand what supposedly makes existence desirable and appealing in the first place or something worth enduring, even if there was no extreme suffering, existence would still be tiresome and a burden for me, there's something so dreadful to being trapped in a decaying flesh prison that we are slaves to, I just prefer the sound of eternal non-existence, I wish I never existed and I've never wished to exist at all.
For me all m'y life was a waste and After that i've been living in mental pain for years and feeling of being empty ..no lot of Friends and no grilfriend for 7 years
アホペンギン
…
- Jul 10, 2023
- 2,199
In my case, the people in my vicinity have been a huge factor to why i finally got to this point. I have never been respected by them, my father ruined my mental health and took away all hope reassuring me that i'll be able to fix myself from me and now i don't think things will ever get better. In addition, i know that i'll never do anything worthwhile in my life anymore - ctb will be the only reasonable thing i'll ever do in this life.
For me it's because I feel overwhelmed by the demands of life and extremely lonely and isolated. When you feel like you're facing the battle of life alone, and you feel crushed by the problems of life it's very hard to keep going.
Ambivalent1
🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
- Apr 17, 2023
- 3,279
Pink blob in head can only handle so much before it reaches its limits and must push the red button.
Captive_Mind515
King or street sweeper, dance with grim reaper!
- Jul 18, 2023
- 433
Yes, I also loathe the idea of waiting around for my body to slowly decay and become useless.
I can never understand why so many people in society see it as some great achievement to make it to some grand old age. Imagine being 95 and remembering what your body and mind was capable of at say 25. No thanks, that just seems horrible to me!
And even if we somehow became immortal, this still doesn't solve the issue of life essentially being pointless and having no objective meaning or reason for existing.
venin
Text
- Jul 28, 2023
- 757
Last edited:
I never thought that I would have reached this point! This was never my life plan and I am sure that it wasn't others life plan. To reach this point is truly the end.
Entropy. Every system in the universe degrades. Different people/ organisms degrade at different rates depending on environmental experiences+genes. I like to call my situation self-accelerated entropy because I had such potential but made too many mistakes and bad choices. I can barely sit with myself anymore I'm so upset at myself and wasted what I could have been
Veketal
Member
- Jul 18, 2023
- 17
i like how many different answers there are
some talk about genetics and environment, some discuss their loneliness.
all roads lead to rome :P
some talk about genetics and environment, some discuss their loneliness.
all roads lead to rome :P
That's it. And something within the brain chemistry as well. Some people manage to still be happy even with generational trauma, family history of mental illness, and their own painful experiences as well. I wish I could be one of them.
Physical pain and relationship heartache. Bleak future. No purpose, no hope. I have a room mate from college that I stood as best man in his wedding. He kept telling me to call him sometime. I did and he hung up on me. I've reached out for help, and no one's there.
