Venting Why do they make us live with incurable injury?

[Darkover]

I got a brain injury when I was 30 years old, and it changed everything. Not just physically—but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I lost the ability to concentrate, to think clearly, to function the way I used to. It feels like the person I was supposed to be got erased, and no one gave me a guide on how to live with what was left.

The worst part is that despite it being incurable, despite the suffering being constant and exhausting, the government and the system still expect me to keep going as if I'm fine. As if life automatically has value no matter how unbearable it becomes.

But I keep asking myself:
Is it really a choice if suffering is what's pushing me toward death?
Because when the only options are either to keep enduring an existence that feels like torture, or to want peace—then that's not a real choice. That's desperation. That's being boxed into a corner by pain.

The system tells people like me to "hang in there" or "get help"—but what help? There's no cure. The support is barely there. And even when I try to explain what it's like, it feels like no one really listens. I'm left to suffer, and then judged if I start questioning whether I can keep doing this.

What makes it worse is how the system frames everything. They say life is sacred, that we should never allow assisted death—because it's dangerous, or immoral, or whatever excuse they come up with. But all that does is trap people like me in bodies and minds that can't heal. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask for it. But now I'm expected to just endure it until the end—no matter how long that takes or how much it hurts.

Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason they keep people like me alive is because, even in suffering, we're still "useful" to the system. We still pay rent, still buy food, still take medications. We're still statistics. That's a horrible thought—but honestly, it doesn't feel like compassion is what's keeping us here. It feels like control.

Forcing someone to keep living just because "life is precious" isn't kindness. It's cruelty dressed up as morality.
The real tragedy isn't that people like me think about death.
The real tragedy is that the system gave us no better option.

 

[Susannah]

I got a brain injury when I was 30 years old, and it changed everything. Not just physically—but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I lost the ability to concentrate, to think clearly, to function the way I used to. It feels like the person I was supposed to be got erased, and no one gave me a guide on how to live with what was left.

The worst part is that despite it being incurable, despite the suffering being constant and exhausting, the government and the system still expect me to keep going as if I'm fine. As if life automatically has value no matter how unbearable it becomes.

But I keep asking myself:
Is it really a choice if suffering is what's pushing me toward death?
Because when the only options are either to keep enduring an existence that feels like torture, or to want peace—then that's not a real choice. That's desperation. That's being boxed into a corner by pain.

The system tells people like me to "hang in there" or "get help"—but what help? There's no cure. The support is barely there. And even when I try to explain what it's like, it feels like no one really listens. I'm left to suffer, and then judged if I start questioning whether I can keep doing this.

What makes it worse is how the system frames everything. They say life is sacred, that we should never allow assisted death—because it's dangerous, or immoral, or whatever excuse they come up with. But all that does is trap people like me in bodies and minds that can't heal. I didn't choose this. I didn't ask for it. But now I'm expected to just endure it until the end—no matter how long that takes or how much it hurts.

Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason they keep people like me alive is because, even in suffering, we're still "useful" to the system. We still pay rent, still buy food, still take medications. We're still statistics. That's a horrible thought—but honestly, it doesn't feel like compassion is what's keeping us here. It feels like control.

Forcing someone to keep living just because "life is precious" isn't kindness. It's cruelty dressed up as morality.
The real tragedy isn't that people like me think about death.
The real tragedy is that the system gave us no better option.

You put into words what I feel, and have tried to put into words. Why do we have so little power over our own lives?

Everyone agrees that quality of life is more important than quantity.
Of course we are useful in the "system". Doctors, nurses, therapists, surgeons, social workers, the pharmaceutical industry, the tax system. The list of "profiteers" is long.

There is actually a financial gain for the society. And I think the "normal-life-people" need us so they can feel a little bit luckier in life. We who suffer without any chance to recover serves as a reminder of how bad life can be.

 

[monolog]

Evolutionary justified dissonance
Existence > suffering
But actually
Suffering > existence
I don't understand why in our advanced civilisation we still didn't manage to ensure painless death to all who are in severe pain all the time

 

[QuiMalignanturExter]

The worst part is that despite it being incurable, despite the suffering being constant and exhausting, the government and the system still expect me to keep going as if I'm fine. As if life automatically has value no matter how unbearable it becomes.
.....
The system tells people like me to "hang in there" or "get help"—but what help? There's no cure. The support is barely there. And even when I try to explain what it's like, it feels like no one really listens. I'm left to suffer, and then judged if I start questioning whether I can keep doing this.
.....
Forcing someone to keep living just because "life is precious" isn't kindness. It's cruelty dressed up as morality.

They don't value "life," I feel, but it's more accurate to say they fetishize "clinical aliveness" itself; however, I do not mean "fetish" in the sexual sense of the term, but more so in the spiritual/religious sense -- such as one of this Merriam-Webster page's definitions:

"broadly: a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence"

It's utterly baffling to me how a person can be in just about the most wretched condition imaginable, yet the majority of the human population balks at the notion of helping that person end their life, but even worse than that, somehow sincerely believe that they are the compassionate ones?!

 

[yomander369]

I understand your pain. I'm stuck with a back injury that gets worse every day. I can't walk, sit or lie down without extreme pain and discomfort. Even worse, my condition is undiagnosable, doesn't show up in standard MRIs.

CTB is the rational option for people like us. Friends and family will never understand. From the outside you can never understand what being tortured by your own body is like.

 

[divinemistress36]

As a fellow brain injury survivor its hell. If you look normal you arent takin seriously. There isnt much resources for us despite the lies spread that there is

 

[mirage]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

 

[Hotsackage]

Can relate, it's pretty brutal.

 

[divinemistress36]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

If you fail your ctb attempt though in the USA you get thrown in a psych hospital and they can keep you there if you are a danger to yourself so they kind of can force you to live

 

[Phhi49]

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

There is always that exception to prove the rule. I would say something like that just fine (out of respect for ones own choice).

Lil comical note to show.
A obvious ex-girlfriend by now, asked me once; Do these pants make my butt look fat? And helpful as i always like to be, i answered; The blame for your butt to look fat is not on those pants. Kinda common joke that goes around, but she couldn't laugh about it back then.
Tact is not my middle name, direct, honest and not to bright i'd say, are.

 

[dead-orchids]

I understand your pain. I'm stuck with a back injury that gets worse every day. I can't walk, sit or lie down without extreme pain and discomfort. Even worse, my condition is undiagnosable, doesn't show up in standard MRIs.

CTB is the rational option for people like us. Friends and family will never understand. From the outside you can never understand what being tortured by your own body is like.

I completely agree with this. I feel like the people who don't understand think that ctb is selfish, an emotional decision, etc. But it often is the only option left when nothing else works to relieve the pain and suffering. Why can't they be happy that we're no longer suffering, that we're finally at peace?

 

[KillingPain267]

That's a horrible thought—but honestly, it doesn't feel like compassion is what's keeping us here. It feels like control.

So true

I mean I get what you're saying but at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to live or die. No one can force you to live. People will say words of encouragement cause what else can they really say. It's not like they will say "yes your life is very hard go and kill yourself"

The point is that society works hard to ban methods for us to make our end as peaceful and painless as possible...because reasons.

Why can't they be happy that we're no longer suffering, that we're finally at peace?

Because they're actually just as selfish as we are. Everyone is selfish but everyone claims not to be.

 

[T-Heart]

One of the best posts I've seen!


Obviously everything would be easier without this f society on all sides of the web, bothering us even though they never went through what we went through.

They tell us what to do and they talk about their stable life in such an annoyingly way, then wonder why they can't stop people from kts.