Why do prolifers think that saying we’re so loved means anything?

[Kramer]

First off I don't have the ability to feel love. But even if I did, how is being loved supposed to fix my problems? Prolifers are so incredibly stupid. They deserve the pain they have for being so willfully naive.

 

[TheSoulless]

I hate it when people who have never been suicidal give advice that helps no one but themselves on the internet. "Remember to hydrate!" "Don't do it, it's not worth it!" And the absolute worst: "I care about you!" A stranger saying they care about me means jack shit.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Honestly... I don't even know. Each time I hear my mom or my stepdad-to-be, or anyone in my family say it, I just feel insulted by them thinking I'm just so simple to care about their love. While it's true that part of my reasoning is that I feel that I don't belong, it's on a grand scale with society, seeing as to how they treat me compared to everyone else, how I am unable to form any meaningful connections where I can be myself and have a genuine conversation. Not to mention my awareness in how unfair things are for the most part.

 

[Misfit72]

It's emotional blackmail. Most of the love there is for me is junk love, it fattens but does not feed.

 

[sephlove]

I never got real love from either of my parents. There were mixed signals for sure, but it was obvious later on it was just attachment and parental instincts. Not real love.

However, that doesn't mean I don't know how to love. Ironic, I was able to love others despite all the pain and the absence of it. I love my sister and I know she loves me too. She's the most amazing person I ever met.

But it doesn't change anything. I still want to CTB.

 

[HopelessBorderline]

Yesssss. This.
"Imagine the pain you'll cause if you die"

But I won't know. Because I'll be dead. Unless of course there is an afterlife, but I don't believe in it. I've had near death experiences and all I can say is, they were relaxing. The most comforted I've ever felt. I only brought myself back from it because of my loved ones. I am still here for them, but i'm afraid one day it just won't be enough. I am just atoms existing in a shitty world. We are born, work, suffer a lot in between and then rot to a ripe old age and die.
"It's selfish, you're putting your pain on to someone else". The reality is...they just weren't enough to ease the pain. They weren't enough to convince you that existence has meaning.

 

[VisionsOfHell]

If someone actually loves me they will be happy for me that I could finally break these chains and escape from this eternal torment that my life has become.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

In my basically guess work opinion I'd say it comes from the overarching logic that suicidal people are emotionally in a dark place and just need support and positive feelings to pull them out. Such words might actually help someone in a crisis that can't think straight because of their feelings, but they do nothing for long term suicidal thoughts that are more deeply rooted in your opinions on life.

 

[Good4Nothing]

If I were loved I wouldn't want to die.

 

[Kramer]

Yesssss. This.
"Imagine the pain you'll cause if you die"

But I won't know. Because I'll be dead. Unless of course there is an afterlife, but I don't believe in it. I've had near death experiences and all I can say is, they were relaxing. The most comforted I've ever felt. I only brought myself back from it because of my loved ones. I am still here for them, but i'm afraid one day it just won't be enough. I am just atoms existing in a shitty world. We are born, work, suffer a lot in between and then rot to a ripe old age and die.
"It's selfish, you're putting your pain on to someone else". The reality is...they just weren't enough to ease the pain. They weren't enough to convince you that existence has meaning.

They weren't enough

If I were loved I wouldn't want to die.

So you don't have other problems?

 

[stygal]

Those are always just empty words to push their agenda on to you. As soon as you don't consider ctb anymore they won't give a shit about you and leave.
Same goes for anti-abortion people: baby is there...alright, imma head out.

But even if they became my close friends or truly cared: in my case love can't save me.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

It can come across as hollow. To say that every suicidal individual is "well loved" is a generalization. Everyones life is different and not all people have, or can experience love - either from themself or from others. There are elderly people who have become estranged from the rest of their family, and there are quiet kids at school/college who are left out because they do not fit in with the clique, and many more lonely individuals. In fact there are some suicide notes online in which people have stated that they ended their life exactly due to a lack of love or romance. For some the phrase: "Love hurts" is true.

 

[Good4Nothing]

So you don't have other problems?

I do. But they're fairly manageable when I have friends/lovers/people who care about me. I've been very isolated and lonely for the past 10 years, and my mental health is deteriorating. I'm afraid I'll pass the point of no return soon, if I haven't already. I can be a good person when somebody believes in me, but when nobody does... what's the fucking point in anything?

 

[Gsz1982]

LOVED!! If that was the case I would not be trying CTB!

 

[MrBlue]

I guess it's just a reflection of their own life/experience. They say you're loved because they are, and say there is so much to live for because for them, there genuinely is.

If your circumstances don't match theirs, then they'll assume you simply have'nt tried to reach that point or you're overeacting to your circumstances, and if you are in the same position as they are in life, then they will assume you're clearly ill for not feeling the same way they do. It's why if your lonely the go to response is either, "have you actually tried talking to other people?!" or "well friendships/relationships are overated, you're lucky to be lonely".

I don't think it's neccessarily malicious, just ignorance.

 

[Ghost2211]

I don't mind being told I'm loved or cared about. It's good intentions even if it doesn't actually fix anything. The one that makes me consistently mad is "things will work out, and you'll be ok". it isn't based on any degree of fact, ignores reality in front of them, and disregards what I'm going through.

 

[Symbiote]

Invalidation and guilt-tripping people who are down and out is absolutely vile. They make us feel bad because we can't see love around us and that we're feeling this way on purpose. Some involve other family members and friends, and some involve God. It's their way of trying to reframe your mind, but instead it just closes you off from them even further and you know in the future not to go to them when you have problems.

Pro-lifers think they could just throw platitudes and distraction activities at us to pull us out of our funk. They never sit down to listen or empathize, talk about the deep shit in our lives, and find meaning for those or at least a vent. They may not have the answers themselves but say you don't know the answer rather than use an overly cliched line that most of us already know.

 

[AutoTap]

Guilt trip. I just wanna die and already feel guilty about wanting to as I'll leave my loved ones behind. Then people saying it and stuff just makes it worse

 

[degeneratewaste]

it's just a tool out of the manipulation toolbox they wield, really. who are they to say people are loved - some of us clearly aren't. how can you tell people they are loved when they literally could have no friends and family and be completely alone? it's just fucking pathetic.

 

[elfgyoza]

Everyone's already written it better than I ever could, but yeah it's just emotional blackmail. You want to not be alive anymore? 'But think about how that would affect me. I would miss you and it would make me sad because I love you.'
It's gotten to the point where reading things like that just fills me with anger and pushes me towards CTB even more because of how shallow most humans are

 

[demuic]

There are lots of people who aren't loved, have no friends, can't connect with others, etc. But we're "so loved." Yeah right.

 

[StringPuppet]

I think they say it because it's what gets a lot of them through the day. They have to accept that for the suicidal love is not a powerful enough motivator to keep living, and love is typically seen as the most important thing in life, so if that won't stop us then nothing will.

 

[Predestinated]

First off I don't have the ability to feel love. But even if I did, how is being loved supposed to fix my problems? Prolifers are so incredibly stupid. They deserve the pain they have for being so willfully naive.

Being lov

It's emotional blackmail. Most of the love there is for me is junk love, it fattens but does not feed.

Yup its emotional blackmail and guilt tripping

 

[Nyxtus]

I'm going to try to offer a different viewpoint here despite getting just as angry and frustrated as you guys do at pro-lifers and family offering words of support.

I myself also get really irritated and sometimes outright furious when pro-lifers and family offer nothing but "well you can talk to me! I really hope it goes well!". It comes across as hollow, does nothing to help and is kind of a slap to the face. HOWEVER, I'd like you guys to think about this: Most of them have NEVER had to struggle and suffer with the pain and thoughts that we have. Sure, they've had issues of their own, but they can't comprehend or understand what it feels like for people like us. They probably genuinely do care, but to them they just can't grasp any of this. I don't think they mean ill at all, it's a complete communication breakdown. They cannot sympathize or emphasize with people like us because they have absolutely no frame of reference of what it is like, so they approach it with their own healthy position. Of course that doesn't, and could never translate in a 1:1.

 

[Meditation guide]

They are stupid and clueless about our situations. If they could live one day in my condition they would understand.

 

[peacechoice]

First off I don't have the ability to feel love. But even if I did, how is being loved supposed to fix my problems? Prolifers are so incredibly stupid. They deserve the pain they have for being so willfully naive.

God damn thank you for finally saying this. Why are people so painfully naive? Like you suffer because you want to. How is death cowardly, it takes a lot of damn guts to get past the pain of a lonely death. Plus it also takes a special kind of person to realize the reality of their situation and actually take matters into their own hands. Why do people adhere to Christianity to justify all the suffering in their life. Are people fucking stupid? I think everyone who's just willfully naive is just stupid and lack empathy. They really don't see the world as it really is. A screwed up place.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Most of them have never been in our situation, and cannot fathom something that they fundamentally have no lived experience with.
Secondly, we live in a very disconnected and detached world that at its core values individualism rather than community. It is quite easy for someone to say they love you, it is another matter entirely for them to prove this sentiment is sincere.
Many people will live a life of isolation, especially if they lack family members and do not form social groups during school or university. Those people crave love, acceptance, and validation, yet are often met with the proselytising sneers that they, "haven't worked on themselves enough to be able to have friends." or "don't love themselves enough to garner respect from others."
People are taught to blame the individual rather than to analyse his situation or the circumstances that underpin his current predicaments. A person's character is an easier target for an attack, rather than a system of values and beliefs, technologies, institutions, and cultural norms that tell people they must be self-reliant, and anyone who doesn't follow the life script is bad. They harp on about personal responsibility and how a person's bad choices resulted in their depression, but rarely do these people make any sort of altruistic effort to help others or guide them towards some sort of recovery, they say their hedonism and happiness is more important than "babysitting" someone. That is where the truth of the matter lies, they find the suffering of others to be inconvenient and would rather pretend like they did a good deed by blabbering lines off the hotline site.
I don't believe those sorts of characters when they say they love suicidal or disparaged people. If they did, they would be showing it with actions and not empty platitudes.

 

[Lilacmoon]

well, obviously, because being loved solves everything. :)
debt, abuse, trauma, being a failure, it all goes away with love <3
hahaha, if only.

 

[peacechoice]

Most of them have never been in our situation, and cannot fathom something that they fundamentally have no lived experience with.
Secondly, we live in a very disconnected and detached world that at its core values individualism rather than community. It is quite easy for someone to say they love you, it is another matter entirely for them to prove this sentiment is sincere.
Many people will live a life of isolation, especially if they lack family members and do not form social groups during school or university. Those people crave love, acceptance, and validation, yet are often met with the proselytising sneers that they, "haven't worked on themselves enough to be able to have friends." or "don't love themselves enough to garner respect from others."
People are taught to blame the individual rather than to analyse his situation or the circumstances that underpin his current predicaments. A person's character is an easier target for an attack, rather than a system of values and beliefs, technologies, institutions, and cultural norms that tell people they must be self-reliant, and anyone who doesn't follow the life script is bad. They harp on about personal responsibility and how a person's bad choices resulted in their depression, but rarely do these people make any sort of altruistic effort to help others or guide them towards some sort of recovery, they say their hedonism and happiness is more important than "babysitting" someone. That is where the truth of the matter lies, they find the suffering of others to be inconvenient and would rather pretend like they did a good deed by blabbering lines off the hotline site.
I don't believe those sorts of characters when they say they love suicidal or disparaged people. If they did, they would be showing it with actions and not empty platitudes.

Many claps, beautifully written and ohh so true.

 

[LastFlowers]

It's like those random YouTube comments you come across that say:
"To anyone reading this, I don't know you but I want you to know that you are SO loved! You have no idea how much you are loved! I hope you have a wonderful day ~~"

and then later down in the responses "omggg guys thanks so much for the likessss! Wow never expected this!"

If that shit isn't enough to make a person want to bash their brains in, then idk what is. (Even posting these emojis ironically has damaged my essence.)