Why do people refuse to believe that a person wants to die

[Jon Arbuckle]

I've noticed this weird tendency for people to deny that a suicidal person ~really~ wants to die. This mantra of "you don't really want to die, you just want to stop being sad!!" gets repeated around often, but I've also seen this kind of disrespectful phenomenon two times where, after someone kills themselves, someone claims that they must have regretted it before dying without ANY proof whatsoever.
One time was a comment on the fucking ronnie mcnutt suicide video, where they said "I'm sure a split second before he died he regretted it", the second time was when osamu dazai killed himself, someone who knew him claimed that "just before he died, he gained an obsession with life."
am I the only one who thinks this shit is borderline really disrespectful?
suicidal people are constantly called attention seekers or told that we don't really want to die, even when we actually fucking die people say "oh I'm sure they didn't REALLY want to die"
why do people refuse to think someone genuinely wants to die?

 

[SleepyRobloxGrl]

Because they don't. People live in their own little bubbles. The only reality that exists to them is the one they surround themselves with. If they don't want to die, why should others?
That's my opinion

 

[offbalance]

Because it's uncomfortable for them. It would force them to think about why that would be the case

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as in my case non-existence truly is all I wish for, I'd never wish to exist and the thought of suffering for potentially decades longer is horrific to me, I personally find it completely undesirable to exist. I just want the peace of eternal sleep instead of being burdened with this painful and futile existence I never would have chose in the first place, never existing again is all I hope for, I suffer simply from existing and what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself.

 

[LapseInTime]

It is discrediting, dismissive and it downplays what you feel. I can understand that, as living beings, staying alive has always been hard-wired into our minds and all of that jazz but there are circumstances under which somebody can actually want to die. It's always dramatizing up until the point where it isn't but some just cannot understand. I think that, above all, it's something foreign to some people. They've never felt what it feels like nor do they want to at least TRY to understand.

 

[chester]

I'm probably going to say something quite unpopular here, but I believe, based on reading countless posts on this forum, that people don't want to die because this is what they genuinely want. People want to die, because their lives are fucked up in one way or another, resulting in so much pain (physical or mental) that they want to escape. Nobody who feels good kills themself if they're in their right mind.

People kill themselves because they believe their life is fucked beyond repair in some way. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you in a good place career/education-wise?
2. Are you in a good financial situation?
3. Are you happy with your social and/or family situation?
4. Are you happy in your relationship or happy not being in a relationship?
5. Do you feel good mentally and optimistic?
6. Are you healthy?

I'll admit to being wrong only if someone suicidal can honestly answer "yes" to all of the above. Otherwise it's my hill I will die on, that suicide is not about wanting to die, suicide is about believing that you'll never have a life you'll consider worth living. Whether this belief is justified or not, it differs from person to person. But it's not the death itself that makes people want to do it. It's their life.

 

[Sgrodolo]

I think can think of three possible explanations
1) people are dumb and mistaken survival instinct with actual regret, like in some cases of self strangulation you can see the person tried desperately to break free before loosing consciousness
2) not depressed people can't comprehend what being actively suicidal feels like so they assume no-one really wants to die
3) they say so to exorcise their fear of death, so they don't have to think about the possibility

I'm probably going to say something quite unpopular here, but I believe, based on reading countless posts on this forum, that people don't want to die because this is what they genuinely want. People want to die, because their lives are fucked up in one way or another, resulting in so much pain (physical or mental) that they want to escape. Nobody who feels good kills themself if they're in their right mind.

People kill themselves because they believe their life is fucked beyond repair in some way. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you in a good place career/education-wise?
2. Are you in a good financial situation?
3. Are you happy with your social and/or family situation?
4. Are you happy in your relationship or happy not being in a relationship?
5. Do you feel good mentally and optimistic?
6. Are you healthy?

I'll admit to being wrong only if someone suicidal can honestly answer "yes" to all of the above. Otherwise it's my hill I will die on, that suicide is not about wanting to die, suicide is about believing that you'll never have a life you'll consider worth living. Whether this belief is justified or not, it differs from person to person. But it's not the death itself that makes people want to do it. It's their life.

Well duh, of course no-one would want to kill themselves if their life wasn't miserable in some way, suicide is very hard and very painful it requires strong will and commitment to self-destruction, it's not a thing you can just choose lightheartedly

 

[Ironborn]

They're scared.
You can only understand our position once you have been in it. Once you cross that line in the sand their is no going back, not completely.
It's a pretty heavy perception shift of a person's worldview.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

They just can't understand it as people have a tendency to see everybody else as an extention of them. People struggle at relating to those they never experienced before. At the end of the day, it takes one to know one and they aren't suicidal. Also, they need to maintain their beliefs and their entire perception of the world would shatter if they acknowledge that some people really want to die

Because they don't. People live in their own little bubbles. The only reality that exists to them is the one they surround themselves with. If they don't want to die, why should others?
That's my opinion

For somebody who's "always sleeping", you're ironically more awake (i.e. more aware) about suicidal people than others are.

I'm probably going to say something quite unpopular here, but I believe, based on reading countless posts on this forum, that people don't want to die because this is what they genuinely want. People want to die, because their lives are fucked up in one way or another, resulting in so much pain (physical or mental) that they want to escape. Nobody who feels good kills themself if they're in their right mind.

People kill themselves because they believe their life is fucked beyond repair in some way. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you in a good place career/education-wise?
2. Are you in a good financial situation?
3. Are you happy with your social and/or family situation?
4. Are you happy in your relationship or happy not being in a relationship?
5. Do you feel good mentally and optimistic?
6. Are you healthy?

I'll admit to being wrong only if someone suicidal can honestly answer "yes" to all of the above. Otherwise it's my hill I will die on, that suicide is not about wanting to die, suicide is about believing that you'll never have a life you'll consider worth living. Whether this belief is justified or not, it differs from person to person. But it's not the death itself that makes people want to do it. It's their life.

What if somebody doesn't want the type of life that you describe? Even if I did say "yes" to all of your questions, I still wouldn't want to live as I don't want to be a normie. I don't desire the normie life at all. Of course I still fall under the category of me never having a life that I consider worth living but I also wouldn't want to live the type of life that you're thinking of either

 

[Ariii]

Sometimes I see people say, "People don't actually want to die, they just want their suffering to stop" which I guess is true for most cases. But then how to get suffering to stop? In a lot of cases, it's death, and people want solutions to their problems. So for this case particularly, whether someone wants to die can be based on your interpretation of what it means to want something.

 

[TennTrixie]

Also, why do they assume someone who wants to end it must be depressed. I would have never thought of it if it hadn't been for health problems. I don't want to live a life with no quality of life. That doesn't mean I'm depressed and need "help" or hotlines. Having an incurable illness means there is no possible help.

 

[chester]

What if somebody doesn't want the type of life that you describe?

I didn't describe any type of life. The questions are meant to check if things are good in various areas of your life. Good by your standards, not mine.

 

[charredlettuce]

I'm probably going to say something quite unpopular here, but I believe, based on reading countless posts on this forum, that people don't want to die because this is what they genuinely want. People want to die, because their lives are fucked up in one way or another, resulting in so much pain (physical or mental) that they want to escape. Nobody who feels good kills themself if they're in their right mind.

People kill themselves because they believe their life is fucked beyond repair in some way. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you in a good place career/education-wise?
2. Are you in a good financial situation?
3. Are you happy with your social and/or family situation?
4. Are you happy in your relationship or happy not being in a relationship?
5. Do you feel good mentally and optimistic?
6. Are you healthy?

I'll admit to being wrong only if someone suicidal can honestly answer "yes" to all of the above. Otherwise it's my hill I will die on, that suicide is not about wanting to die, suicide is about believing that you'll never have a life you'll consider worth living. Whether this belief is justified or not, it differs from person to person. But it's not the death itself that makes people want to do it. It's their life.

genuinely, yes. im in my dream career making a livable wage independently, i have a lot of really meaningful connections including a partner of over 2 years who i love dearly, and my physical health is in prime shape outside of a bit of food poisoning last week lol.

the only one i will admit to not meeting is #5. but thats because it's a tautology. you can't be feeling good mentally AND be suicidal unless you're suicidal for some external reason, like a threat to your family (as per action movies). being suicidal is inherently not doing well mentally.

that being said though, whether or not someone is "feeling good mentally" is kinda the biggest question in the right to die movement. because people will always claim that, if youre suicidal, you cant be trusted to assess yourself. which means only non suicidal people get to assess themselves. which leads to a selection bias.

also, whether or not somebody feels good mentally is often less about how much effort they have put into mental health care, and is more about how much access to resources they have. personally, when i talk to a therapist and say im suicidal, they put me in a psych ward, which traumatizes me and provides no therapeutic benefit other than keeping me in a room where i can be monitored to make sure im not being self injurious. it does nothing to improve my mental state. it's a holding cell. it's intended to get impulsively suicidal people to come down from their impulses. and then, once i leave the psych ward, i go back to my therapist and share that im still suicidal, and they rehospitalize me. it becomes cyclical. three therapists have done this. and i still have nightmares from the psych wards. theyre horrible. i didnt have violent thoughts about other people until i got out of the psych ward and found it hard to cope with the trauma. theyve worsened my mental state to the point that my suicidality is no longer a desire, it's a need.

ive been suicidal for over a decade now, and have made many suicide attempts throughout that decade. but if youre about to suggest me some new treatment, ive likely already tried it. CBT, DBT, ACT, ERT, Hypno-therapy, and more. this system of medicine isn't made for me because it refuses to treat my suicidality in its own right. it only treats it as a symptom of depression and insists that solving my depression will solve my suicidality. my worst attempt was while maxed out on anti depressants with a therapist of 3 years meeting weekly with me about my depression. depression has truly nothing to do with it, i can be happy as a clam and still want to die. and if therapists refuse to hear about my suicidality without sending me into a traumatic environment where i cannot leave, then i will never get the treatment i need.

of course im not optimistic. i honestly dont think anyone should be. im not pessimistic either. ive tried all these options with the most open mind imaginable. heck, im still contacting therapists in my area to see what they can do for me. i do my best to give things a fighting chance with whoever i see, but i always arrive back at square one. im not optimistic, im realistic. i can see a pattern and interpret what it means.

i personally thing, in a situation where my mental health seemingly is going to be bad forever because our medical industrial complex is so poorly built, suicide is a reasonable option. if i had never tried to get help, i think it's accurate to say that a suicide would be irrational. but considering that the system seems to not be able to help me, and seeing as mental health problems this severe really do require a mental healthcare professional, i feel as though i am going to be continuing to feel this way for the foreseeable future. and so, given such a fate of being miserable until i die, i think it makes perfect sense for me to make a concerted effort to die.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I didn't describe any type of life. The questions are meant to check if things are good in various areas of your life. Good by your standards, not mine.

I see. In that case, I guess I fit within your criteria. I don't care about 1, 3, 4 and 5 but I was a billionaire and had decent health, I'd be satisfied with my life. Of course I'd want to die before I reach old age regardless of financial status as I value health as well and I don't want to be in a lot of pain

 

[chester]

@charredlettuce I can relate so much. I used to feel a very strong emotional pain during adolescence and adulthood, even though it wasn't really justified in my situation. I tried getting professional help, but it didn't help me anyhow. I was beginning to learn to live with it though and I reached a point when I could forget about it at times, I was beginning to love life. I had an amazing partner who knew all about my condition, she truly cared and loved me more than I though was possible. Now she's dead and I joined SaSu.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Most refuse to believe people want to die.

I can't see how any human would want to live.

There are reasons on top of reasons why living is meaningless, dangerous , laborious , burndensome , disgusting , boring , painful , evil .

work so hard all to exist under threat of extreme torture for no reason.

feed yourself 3 times day , all the labor work groceries cleaning to do that . this has been the case for 100's of thousands of years and was even more difficult 100,000 years ago as you had to walk miles to go try to kill animal with a rock and eat it there weren't supermarkets , refrigerators nor deliveries.

I don't see why anyone would want to get up every morning and shower , dress , clean , cook eat , groceries , deal with problems , to do lists, responsibilities , chores , stress, worry, wash clothes, work a job and then get up again the next day non stop . What for ? There is no reason. i hate working, chores, and doing all this labor every day just to exist so something even more horrible will happen to me and then get old and tortured by old age

all this shit sucks. i hate life existence and working. i hate doing anything much more because there isn't any reason to.

i would still prefer non-existence asap even if i were rich or i didn't have to do much . i hate existence and living

1. first layer level of hell. you have to work all day feed yourself 3 times a day , wok a job , chores . you have to get up every single day shower , dress , brush teeth , clean everything, wash everything, fix everything broken, organize everything, . This is the normie level . every normie has to do this every living animal has to constantly feed itself and put up with threats from animals , attackers ,bacteria, fungi, parasites , tape worms, ticks ,mosquities , many of these insects like ticks and mosquitos carry horrible disabling diseases like lyme.
Every day yo u have to work all day for what? for what fucking reason? and this is fun? this is beautiful wonderful sacred important ? wtf? so i'm "depressed" im' "insane" because i say this ridiculuous level of daily work , problems , suffering there is no reason to do this nor put up with it

There are so many horrible things that can happen to a human any day stroke , cancer , kidnapping torture, tapeworm infection, lyme, accident, oppression , scams risk all this and more for no reason.

i worked in a nursing home. many of these people were very old in pain demented it was unimaginable nightmare. most humans will end up like this.

There is no purpose to life. no one can convince me that there is any reason to live or do do anything. it's all meaningless garbage

Furtheremore everything is proven meaningless by the fact that in 130 years nothing will matter. will anything matter in 10,000 years? no. in a trillion years? no.

.... now skip a few levels as i don't have much time . and go to one of my levels ;

i don't give a fuck if were young , healthy , rich, the things they say are for the best life i would still prefer non-existence asap.

another level of mine. what is a human a 30 trillion monstrous cells, i see no difference between a bug etc., a brain that can suffer undending constant unbearable pain. i was brought here by force. i didn't agree nor want this. life is an evil imposition.

These are some of the things i have said here . there is so much more . imo peole have no idea the hell we are living in.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

it's unfortunate they can only see things from their own perspective