Why do people act surprised?

[Ambivalent1]

If they seemed normal and happy,then I understand. A lot of people though who end it are probably not very secretive about being in pain.

 

[todiefor]

This is going to sound cynical but I'm guessing quite often people act surprised to cover any guilt they may be feeling or to ensure others don't blame them for not knowing. I only have myself as a reference point so this will sound a little generalised, but I can't imagine if someone is so depressed and resorts to ctb, that they could have 100% hidden that, especially in every day interactions with people they live with. People who are close must suspect or know in some way, but maybe they didn't say anything, maybe they didn't want to find out

 

[spirittheyregone]

A lot of people are pretty good at covering it up, some are not, and sometimes people just dont wanna see it I feel like.

 

[captive]

because suicidal people almost always act happy and never show society their true self. you can fake happiness, but you can't fake being sad. no shit it is a surprise for everyone when someone decides to leave.

 

[day]

Been drip feeding my friends hints that I've preped for CTB some of them get it, one yesterday reached out and stated it seems as if I'm already gone. However as far as family goes I've always given the impression I'm doing fine so... Guess it's how we can express ourselves.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it varies. Like you say- some people are OBVIOUSLY struggling and everyone around them knows it. Yet- you'll often hear they 'seemed to be getting better' on the run up to it. I have my own theories on this. I think we can even see it here- many people feel a sense of relief when they know they are going to CTB. It CAN take the pressure off of living to such an extent that people may genuinely enjoy their last few weeks/ days here.

There's also the influence of medication. I've heard that some meds have kind of enabled people to CTB almost! Not that it made them MORE depressed- they were already in that state. It just made it easier for them to function- so they could facilitate their plan. To other people though- this flurry of activity can look like 'recovery' I suppose.

Either way- I'm guessing the 'normies' take this apparent change in mood on face value. They presumably think the person is becoming excited about life again when they are really becoming excited about their death! That's my view anyway.

Plus- like other people have said- I expect it's a coping mechanism- 'I didn't realise things were THAT bad- otherwise- I would have helped them more.' I expect they are telling themselves that as much as everyone else.

Plus- people just hate suicide. They see it as a waste of potential I suppose. So- in the same paragraph as hearing what a shock it is to everyone- you also tend to hear how well they were doing in life and what a bright future lay ahead of them. I reckon it all plays in to their prefered narative that ideation/ depression is a random disease that suddenly takes a hold of a person and makes them act out of the ordinary (out of their mind.) I expect that's less painful for them to accept- rather than that their loved one had made a concious decision that life was shit and even they weren't enough to make them want to endure it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people might be pretending to act surprised as the reality is that we cannot know how other people truly feel but in general I think so many people keep their wish to die to themselves as suicide just cannot be discussed openly in this world.

Being too open about wanting to die can lead to punishment by being locked in a psych ward and those who went through with it wanted to ctb rather than have their plans interfered with by people who are against the right to die so they kept everything to themselves. I think people acting surprised is a consequence of existing in this anti-suicide society where suicide is so stigmatised.