why do I have to be alive for someone elses joy?

[fanmam]

why do I need to be alive just because someone else wants me to, they don't understand what im going through, they dont know what i feel, I didnt choose to be alive why are you forcing me to be here? its so unfair yet society doesnt think of them as bad or in the wrong,

Why cant they just understand that some people just simply dont wanna be here, its not your fault, its not their fault, its the way they were made.

My dad told me that when i got home from a psych ward his job was to make sure i was alive, WHY? why force yourself to just be sad and blame yourself for when i die? Why cant you understand that you saying that doesnt help me it just makes it harder to do, not in a good way, in a way that makes it hurt more to do but it will still be done.

 

[Houkki6404]

why do I need to be alive just because someone else wants me to, they don't understand what im going through, they dont know what i feel, I didnt choose to be alive why are you forcing me to be here? its so unfair yet society doesnt think of them as bad or in the wrong,

Why cant they just understand that some people just simply dont wanna be here, its not your fault, its not their fault, its the way they were made.

My dad told me that when i got home from a psych ward his job was to make sure i was alive, WHY? why force yourself to just be sad and blame yourself for when i die? Why cant you understand that you saying that doesnt help me it just makes it harder to do, not in a good way, in a way that makes it hurt more to do but it will still be done.

Dude I get what you're saying, it feels like the only "reason" to be alive it's cuz someone wants you to. Kinda unfair isn't it? I truly, truly get what you're feeling my dude but I've been in the other side too like, don't wanting someone else to die cuz you'll miss them ya know? Cuz you're important to them. I get why your father would say that and I understand your feelings but at the end of the day, the reason for you to stay alive shouldn't be only to not make someone else sad cuz they would be if you were gone, that's unfair! You would be only living for them and not to yourself. The ideal would be to want to be alive just cuz you want to, not cuz someone else is forcing you to. Well, if that's not possible, it's understandable why you feel that way, sometimes I feel like that too.
Anyways, good luck buddy, in anything you do, I wish you good luck :)

 

[R_N]

People close to you call it empathy but isn't it just avoiding pain? Empathy hurts too.

Don't get me wrong empathy is allright, it makes the world less gruesome. But if we think about it, people protecting each other do it to avoid emotional pain that would come with losing you. They are attached to things and people they don't want to lose.

And not to forget strangers "caring" for us. Their reason is not really emphatetic, they won't lose sleep over you. They just want their herd points and to project their own fears of mortality. It is also stuborness that comes with how they were raised and values instilled on them. They will force their views on you no matter what and if you disagree, you are "ill" since you deviate from society/groups.

 

[fanmam]

Dude I get what you're saying, it feels like the only "reason" to be alive it's cuz someone wants you to. Kinda unfair isn't it? I truly, truly get what you're feeling my dude but I've been in the other side too like, don't wanting someone else to die cuz you'll miss them ya know? Cuz you're important to them. I get why your father would say that and I understand your feelings but at the end of the day, the reason for you to stay alive shouldn't be only to not make someone else sad cuz they would be if you were gone, that's unfair! You would be only living for them and not to yourself. The ideal would be to want to be alive just cuz you want to, not cuz someone else is forcing you to. Well, if that's not possible, it's understandable why you feel that way, sometimes I feel like that too.
Anyways, good luck buddy, in anything you do, I wish you good luck :)

the only reason im alive right now is because im forcing myself too, In school i heard my mom crying and my entire family crying in my head and it couldnt stop, the more closer to being complete with my method i cant get my family and the pain that will cause my family afterwards.But i dont wanna be alive, and i havent been wanting to be alive for a very long time now. i dont get why they can force themselves to help me, force me to get help when help is only going to work if i really want it, but i dont want help, i dont wanna live like this and id rather not be alive then curing whats wrong with me, or if there even is anything wrong or if its just my mind.

 

[Houkki6404]

the only reason im alive right now is because im forcing myself too, In school i heard my mom crying and my entire family crying in my head and it couldnt stop, the more closer to being complete with my method i cant get my family and the pain that will cause my family afterwards.But i dont wanna be alive, and i havent been wanting to be alive for a very long time now. i dont get why they can force themselves to help me, force me to get help when help is only going to work if i really want it, but i dont want help, i dont wanna live like this and id rather not be alive then curing whats wrong with me, or if there even is anything wrong or if its just my mind.

Man what you said it's just like 100% true. Help only works if you want help so even if you get help while not wanting it it'll not work. I think people don't understand that actually, maybe that's why they keep pushing the "just get help" thing ya know?
Either way, you saying that you're only living cuz you don't want to hurt your family is one of the saddest things I've heard. You're really living your life just for the sake of others aren't you? Such a poor soul :(
I understand your pain buddy, you're not alone in this
I really wish the best for you. You don't deserve to carry the burden of living for the sake of others, you truly don't
I hope things get better soon for you buddy
Best wishes :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate the view that many people hold that meaningless and unnecessary suffering must be prolonged no matter what. Continuing to suffer in this existence we were unfortunate enough to be burdened with should never be an obligation, I find it beyond cruel how many people refuse to accept that suicide is a valid option.

 

[fanmam]

I hate the view that many people hold that meaningless and unnecessary suffering must be prolonged no matter what. Continuing to suffer in this existence we were unfortunate enough to be burdened with should never be an obligation, I find it beyond cruel how many people refuse to accept that suicide is a valid option.

you said it perfectly. why is death so looked down upon? for you to not allow someone to be free because of your personal opinions is one of the most inhumane things. and then to further treat that person like shit