Catching_the_bus
She's longing for eternal sleep
- Feb 26, 2023
- 111
I want to Ctb... I am 100000% sure that it's the only way out of my pain as I have exhausted all other avenues of treatment and I can't take living like this anymore... However I feel guilty... Really really guilty.... See, I have a 4 year old daughter (conceived by SA I would NEVER willingly bring a human being into this awful hellish world)... I love her to pieces in fact she is the ONLY person I love or feel anything for currently... I know my death will be hard on her but I know that growing up with a mother who has severe mental health issues will be even harder. I know there are people out there who can take better care of her and provide more for her then I ever could but I still can't get over the debilitating guilt.... The longer I wait to Ctb the more it will effect her when I do Ctb.... Part of me feels like now is the best time to do it and the other part of me convinces me to stay out of guilt because I know it's going to be so hard on her.... I just don't know what to do....