Why do I even bother?

[Dun Emeritus]

20 years old. Excelled in school, worthless outside it. Bit spoiled. Basically worth nothing, good for nothing. Parents can't afford college. Have to find job. Put all my heart and effort into finding job.

Barely any responses. Got an interview today. Messed it up. My fault, I'm an idiot. Mentioned something I shouldn't have. Fucking stupid.

Unhappy with family. Unhappy with myself. Uncertain about my future. Angry everyday. Sad everyday. Stressed everyday.

Expect comfort after. Expect anyone to just tell me it'll be fine. Expect love. Instead have a girlfriend who always fucking replies late. Didn't even bother to ask anything about my interview or any question you'd ask someone you give a damn about. Fucking cold. Like I needed another frustration.

And now I find myself asking, "Why do I even bother to live?"

Because I can't get over my survival instinct. If I could, I'd have jumped already. Can't even do that. Can't do anything. Fucking worthless.

Gonna die with nothing to be proud of, no worth to my name. Somebody please fucking kill me already.

 

[throwaway123]

And now I find myself asking, "Why do I even bother to live?"

Because I can't get over my survival instinct. If I could, I'd have jumped already. Can't even do that. Can't do anything. Fucking worthless.

Gonna die with nothing to be proud of, no worth to my name. Somebody please fucking kill me already.

Just do it.

It's so hard man. I don't know how people do it. How the fuck am I supposed to get ready to die?

 

[Weems]

Yeah man. When you're suicidal the last thing you're up for is suicide. Gotta use a drug method that just lets you go to sleep, methinks.

 

[omoidarui]

seems a lot of businesses want applicants with experience so it's really hard to get onto that ladder in the first place (this damned system..). have you tried talking to your parents seriously about this? sounds like you feel like you're under a lot of pressure.