Help Why do I always call for help after/during an attempt?

[keeptheghostout]

I fantasize about death 24/7 and I'm just want to die, I don't want to live at all. But whenever I attempt, I either just call for help or stop myself before death. Why is that? I don't want to do that, I wanna die.
I don't think it's survival instinct because I wouldn't attempt at all if it was (I used to be like that). Why do I keep on stopping myself/calling for help? Why can't I ever succeed?

 

[starboy2k]

the fear of what happens after death could be a reason.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

i've read about this so much people calling the E.R. after taking Sn , N etc on this site and on the internet . it's one of the things holding me back. there's no way i could make it in a hospital or mental hospital ( i have disabilities that i can only take care of in my own home).. if my si or part of my brain calls the E.r they'll put me first in their hospital then a mental hospital for attempting suicide where they can keep you as long as they want to .

i think there are conflicting beliefs, desires , goals , habits, programming , in the brain.

from a summary of Eagleman's book "incognito"

Conscious thought has a surprisingly small impact on your life and most of your behaviors are driven by the unconscious mind. There are competing beliefs within your unconscious mind that are all battling for the single output of your conscious behavior. The complex interactions between your genetics and your environment determine the trajectory of your life.

Incognito by David Eagleman

This is a book summary of Incognito by David Eagleman. Read this Incognito summary to review key ideas and lessons from the book.

jamesclear.com

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why do you actually wanna die?

Dying isn't easy our brains are coded to survival at all costs.

 

[keeptheghostout]

Why do you actually wanna die?

Dying isn't easy our brains are coded to survival at all costs.

I'm just sick of life in general. I don't like the idea of living, and everything is just too overwhelming.

the fear of what happens after death could be a reason.

I believe that it's the same as before being born. I believe in nothingness, so I don't think it's that..

 

[gothbird]

Because wanting to die and being able to carry it out are not the same process. They're governed by different systems. One emotional, one mechanical. You've already made the decision a hundred times in your mind. But when you're at the brink, it becomes real in a way thought can't mimic. The moment shifts from abstraction to execution, and suddenly the mind that's so certain of its end goal is faced with the machinery of dying like the sounds, the sensations, the logistics of collapse. And that creates friction. It's often cognitive dissonance or SI.

You probably stop yourself or ask for help not because you want to live, but because something in you cannot bear dying that way, at that moment, alone, in pain, unfinished or whatever you tell yourself at the moment. It's normal as normal can be.

Be kind to yourself.

 

[keeptheghostout]

You probably stop yourself or ask for help not because you want to live, but because something in you cannot bear dying that way, at that moment, alone, in pain, unfinished or whatever you tell yourself at the moment. It's normal as normal can be.

Be kind to yourself.

This one hit deep. Very deep. Thank you.

Only if I knew how to avoid this LMAO

 

[painfully]

I'm just sick of life in general. I don't like the idea of living, and everything is just too overwhelming.

I believe that it's the same as before being born. I believe in nothingness, so I don't think it's that..

Would having something make living worthwhile, even with all the suffering?

 

[keeptheghostout]

Would having something make living worthwhile, even with all the suffering?

For me, at this point, not really.