Discussion Why do genuine and kind people commit suicide?

[UnknownVender]

First post here, I'm Vender

I lurked around a few months before I created my account. I'm surprised I found a forum where I can freely talk about suicide without people becoming uncomfortable or tuning me out as they usually do.

I'm not used to discussing this topic as I tend to hold it all in to not worry anyone or be a bother.

You all seem so great and genuine, which makes me question why so many empathetic and kind people commit suicide or contemplate suicide? I'm incredibly sorry if this is out of left field or something, I just want to hear other people's thoughts on the matter as I cant discuss this anywhere else. If I want to keep my freedom that is and not be involuntary imprisoned.

 

[falloutcarter13]

This world is kinda built for assholes, imo. You have to step on necks and kick people in the nuts to get ahead. I mean just look at who's in charge of the whole damn country in the US, lol. Some of us just don't have it in us to victimize other people for personal gain...at least I don't, and it makes me not fit in and "fail" at life at every turn, ya know?

 

[who doesn't matter]

Because this world is about 2 things - use or be used and we belong to the third category that does not exist. Not following the world's "code" i.e. refraining to be a total jerk can have consequences because people can't tolerate anyone rejecting their ways. Many here are people who were left all alone or worse - were used and just thrown away.

Now we don't find a single reason to exist and that's the ugly truth.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'm nice and genuine. And chose to live many years ago.
I really think 'we' the kind people should be as kind to ourselves as we are to others. We tend to be 'to' nice, and don't always see that there are people taking advantage of that. We are hurt easily, and keep on believing in the good intentions of all others.
Yes, there are many kind people, but somehow we're a magnet to the ones that use us, abuse us.

The only thing I can give you as an advice, trust your gut feeling. Put yourself in the first place, because you are very important. Get to know the real you! You are always good enough for the genuine en kind people that will accept you for who you are.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

This world is kinda built for assholes, imo. You have to step on necks and kick people in the nuts to get ahead. I mean just look at who's in charge of the whole damn country in the US, lol. Some of us just don't have it in us to victimize other people for personal gain...at least I don't, and it makes me not fit in and "fail" at life at every turn, ya know?

I used to not believe that, when I was young and naive. But I've been on this earth for a while and I've seen over and over again, shitty people get ahead in life - or at the very least - have no repercussions for being shitty. I also used to believe in karma but... lol, nope.

I joke all the time that I must have been Hitler in a past life, because I feel like I have always had a black cloud following me, making sure I have crappy luck and any time I think things might go my way, life kicks me in the ass. And without telling my life story, lets just say I have multiple family members who are less than great people who don't have bad things happen to them like I do.

So to answer the question... Life. Life makes good people want to die.

 

[stationarymillennial]

I dunno. I noticed that a lot of people that post here are really kind, very empathetic, and also intelligent. I guess nice people have it rough in this world.

 

[Thinking]

I think a lot of suicidal people are deeply empathetic and in turn burdened by the pain of the world. We take on not just our own pain but the pain of those around us and in the world. It's fucking depressing man

 

[falloutcarter13]

I dunno. I noticed that a lot of people that post here are really kind, very empathetic, and also intelligent. I guess nice people have it rough in this world.

My dad's a doctor, in charge of the anesthesiology department at a good sized hospital. A few weeks ago, he called me and asked me how to spell lawyer. He was butchering it so bad that spell check and google couldn't sort him out. His friend also got drunk once and told me how my dad almost killed a man under anesthesia because he went out to get a Snickers bar and got distracted and forgot what he was doing. He makes about $420,000 a year, and he's got connections with illegal businesses and untaxed income that his brother runs. The most delightful one is a nursing home where they commonly skimp on essentials, cut corners, and defraud their own patients/residents. He was just smart enough to cheat his way through med school and con his way into being a respected person in the community, but he's got no empathy and doesn't care or see what other people go through. He's happy as can be, just raking in cash and playing with expensive toys, his newest hobby is seeing how many jet skis he can collect, apparently. He's a total asshole and is able to hide that from the rest of the world, which loves him. He's ignorant of anything that doesn't make him happy and can easily ignore things which don't, like his son's rampant depression.

This was my role model growing up. And the hell of it is, I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad that I turned out the exact opposite.

 

[JustendinIt]

we feel the pain of others and our own. There are mistakes i felt I had come to terms with. I was better... I am better. And yet rape, murder, blackmail, domestic abuse. These horrible things happen. I would never do such. I have joined this forum for simply that within the next few months I will hang myself. I'd like to think i'm a kind and genuine person. But others will not say as such. A large part of suicide is inadequacy. I feel i am more than adequate, i simply see no point in existence, so i shall end mine.
no offence mate but it sounds like your dads getting high on his own supply

 

[stationarymillennial]

[...] He's happy as can be, just raking in cash and playing with expensive toys, his newest hobby is seeing how many jet skis he can collect, apparently. He's a total asshole and is able to hide that from the rest of the world, which loves him. He's ignorant of anything that doesn't make him happy and can easily ignore things which don't, like his son's rampant depression.

This was my role model growing up. And the hell of it is, I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad that I turned out the exact opposite.

Dude!!! me too!! Different professions, same sociopathic behavior. I related to your post so much. My dad is a pro at being a fucking ass and getting away with it. He was pissed he had to raise us because my mom is an alchy, and neglected us until he tossed both of us to the curb when we turned 18.Now runs a successful business and makes tons of money.

Ranting a bit here but... He had this weird thing that he never wanted us to get an education. he's like.... anti-university or something, loves daddy trump, and is homophobic as shit. I turned out the exact opposite too. High five? lol.

sorry for going off topic you guys, I'm really bad at staying on topic

 

[who doesn't matter]

Well well, so most of us had state-of-the-art parents. Count that as another reason.

 

[stationarymillennial]

state-of-the-art parents

LOLLLLL I needed that laugh.

 

[kajag]

I generally don't comment but looking at the post of Vander and the response of others. I could not resist. I have seen a lot of ups and downs in my life but have always stood like a rock, great struggler, never bow to anything, but always kind-hearted and supportive to others. However, I have now realized that the world is full of selfish people who will sacrifice you for their interest. I am in a good elite job but is messed up with few people who are powerful and keeps on crushing and will not allow me to do anything. After 4-5 years of struggle, I feel that it is useless to keep on fighting. I cannot write everything but I completely agree with Vander, no matter how nice and good you are you will get life's challenges and brutal treatment from the people which becomes unbearable after a certain period.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Being kind and genuine isn't required for life. Being strong and adaptive is.
This is the problem for me.
I just can't keep going and facing problems and my brain is constantly killing me with countless triggers, self hatred and bad memories.

 

[lostangel]

I think it's because people who are suicidal are nice because they don't want others to feel as bad as they do. I'm speaking for myself though. Plus what other users have mentioned.

 

[alexit]

Because life sucks, it's hard, not worth the trouble, and I'm just not impressed. Doesn't mean you can't be nice.

 

[Vault of Memories]

This world is kinda built for assholes, imo. You have to step on necks and kick people in the nuts to get ahead. I mean just look at who's in charge of the whole damn country in the US, lol. Some of us just don't have it in us to victimize other people for personal gain...at least I don't, and it makes me not fit in and "fail" at life at every turn, ya know?

I don't necessarily consider myself a good person or anything, but I'm not the one to make that call. I feel the same about the workforce, I could never be in charge of anyone, because I hate the thought of bossing someone around and potentially having to relieve them of their job.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Maybe because those most likely to suicide are generally introverts and neurotics, and highly in touch with their feelings and emotions.
People with these traits are then more likely to be empathetic, emotionally intelligent and will not possess or display those traits necessary to 'succeed' in society ("stepping on necks and kicking ppl in the nuts" as @falloutcarter13 said).

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Kind and genuine people can be vulnerable and easily exploited (my situation). In this life you have to lie, cheat, steal and "know people" to get anywhere. Sometimes kind genuine people fall through the cracks because they just aren't cut out for life and their circumstances are so bad there is no will to live anymore. This is just my personal experience.

 

[FrankieVallie]

My dad's a doctor, in charge of the anesthesiology department at a good sized hospital. A few weeks ago, he called me and asked me how to spell lawyer. He was butchering it so bad that spell check and google couldn't sort him out. His friend also got drunk once and told me how my dad almost killed a man under anesthesia because he went out to get a Snickers bar and got distracted and forgot what he was doing. He makes about $420,000 a year, and he's got connections with illegal businesses and untaxed income that his brother runs. The most delightful one is a nursing home where they commonly skimp on essentials, cut corners, and defraud their own patients/residents. He was just smart enough to cheat his way through med school and con his way into being a respected person in the community, but he's got no empathy and doesn't care or see what other people go through. He's happy as can be, just raking in cash and playing with expensive toys, his newest hobby is seeing how many jet skis he can collect, apparently. He's a total asshole and is able to hide that from the rest of the world, which loves him. He's ignorant of anything that doesn't make him happy and can easily ignore things which don't, like his son's rampant depression.

This was my role model growing up. And the hell of it is, I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad that I turned out the exact opposite.

I can definitely relate to this coming from a high-class family. The people highest up in society are some of the most despicable individuals I've ever seen. It's a filthy place. Up there, success is based on how well you can lie, deceive, and use others to your own advantage. The sad truth is that, in this world, you must either wrong others or others will wrong you. There is no intermediate or margin for kindness. You either hurt others, or others will hurt you. Either you use others, or others will use you. Any kind of human decency is just a hindrance to success, and will cost you dearly. I do not consider myself to be a good person, since I believe that all people have knowingly sinned and so there are no "good" people. However, there are obviously different degrees of evil. I have done bad things in my life, but I have adamantly refused to wrong others for the purpose of furthering myself. Sadly, as a result, I have suffered immensely for this. I want my success to be based on my personal ability to do well at something, not on how willing I am to harm others or how well I can manipulate others.

It seems like most people here have my same mentality, which just goes to show that there is no place for us in this world. Humanity is truly disgusting. We lie to children, saying that they can be successful in life through hard work and dedication to their career. Yet, deception and manipulation can take one anywhere while hard work and dedication mean absolutely nothing. We praise virtues such as kindness, respect, and dignity, yet base success upon the exact opposite.

 

[DommeIsis]

Because this world is about 2 things - use or be used and we belong to the third category that does not exist. Not following the world's "code" i.e. refraining to be a total jerk can have consequences because people can't tolerate anyone rejecting their ways. Many here are people who were left all alone or worse - were used and just thrown away.

Now we don't find a single reason to exist and that's the ugly truth.

I learned that lesson at home. To this day, that's my mother and my relationship. My oldest son developed that attitude no matter how much I showed him different. Society is truly the blame. You get tired of being lonely, catering to everyone needs, and staying invisible because you are only needed when your needed. That's torture on anyone.

 

[rhiino]

Many people here see the world how it is, not through rose-coloured glasses. This might stem from being more empathic or it might create being more empathic. When you suffer yourself you also see the suffering of others more.

In the end the better of a person you are, the more this world hurts to see imho.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm not going to say "the world hates kind people, the nice people always suffer most" because it isn't true and it isn't a fair representation of the world.

The reality is that life is complicated. People's emotions are affected by many factors, internal and external. For some this really is as simple as a dysfunctional brain causing emotional issues that make life too difficult to be worth living. Some people suffer from extreme physical issues that make life hard. Some people simply have bad luck and have ended up in a seemingly hopeless situation that doesn't seem worth moving past.

People have vastly different reasons for being here, and most of these reasons aren't reserved for unkind people.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I'm not a psycologist or sociologist so I could be totally wrong, but here's my thoughts:

Personally I think it is because kindness is viewed as a weakness in some circles. Empathy is an important trait of a kind person, and being empathetic means that you must have a certain level of emotional sensitivity. You often hear the phrase: "Stop being so sensitive!" - it's usually said in response to someone getting upset over something. It Implies that there is something wrong with being emotionally-sensitive, and in turn, having empathy. This phrase also implies that it's bad to want to avoid hurting other peoples feelings. The reason that the word "sensitivity" is usually thrown around negatively is because some social circles put an emphasis on being "tough" and resilient, and toughness can be interpreted by some people to mean that you should disregard the emotional well-being of those around you. This can help to validate mean-spirited behaviour. Even if a tough person feels sorry for someone who is in an unfortunate place - they can't, because if they do, they will be labelled as "soft" and they will lose their tough card. It is a case of "Kill or be killed". There are also other reasons why kind people get screwed over more easily; such as sly individuals taking advantage of said kind persons compassion; that's partly how abusive relationships are formed. Basically genuine and kind individuals are trampled on, ridiculed and taken advantage of. Eventually, like anyone, they reach their limit and snap... This is when the thoughts of suicide manifest.

Having said all of this though - if we are talking just about the (natural) world itself, and not human societies, then I don't think that kind people are targeted specifically more than anyone else. In nature everyone and everything gets screwed over, and some draw the short straw and get screwed worse than others unfortunately. The universe doesn't care if you're a kind or mean person; humans wither and die so we all lose in the end, in a sense.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

First post here, I'm Vender

I lurked around a few months before I created my account. I'm surprised I found a forum where I can freely talk about suicide without people becoming uncomfortable or tuning me out as they usually do.

I'm not used to discussing this topic as I tend to hold it all in to not worry anyone or be a bother.

You all seem so great and genuine, which makes me question why so many empathetic and kind people commit suicide or contemplate suicide? I'm incredibly sorry if this is out of left field or something, I just want to hear other people's thoughts on the matter as I cant discuss this anywhere else. If I want to keep my freedom that is and not be involuntary imprisoned.

Hi
I'm new here too I lurked around the forum for a long time before I made my account too
I just felt this was the right place I could talk about ctb with people who understand what I'm going through
Been suffering with mental health problems since I was 17 things got a lot worse 6 years later and since than no one in my family or mental health care people have understood me
When I mentioned ctb I was called mental and manic
These medicines for mental health hardly help at all
I have just been pushed aside and just called mental
Things have worsen over the years mental health care has deteriorated so much that you don't receive the care you need
I have given up on them tbh

My only goal now is to find peace & I'm dead serious about it
Here for chat friend If u need it
Peace and hugs

 

[Deardaddy]

I am kind and genuine and I concur this is the truth.

 

[SoIntoYou]

First post here, I'm Vender

I lurked around a few months before I created my account. I'm surprised I found a forum where I can freely talk about suicide without people becoming uncomfortable or tuning me out as they usually do.

I'm not used to discussing this topic as I tend to hold it all in to not worry anyone or be a bother.

You all seem so great and genuine, which makes me question why so many empathetic and kind people commit suicide or contemplate suicide? I'm incredibly sorry if this is out of left field or something, I just want to hear other people's thoughts on the matter as I cant discuss this anywhere else. If I want to keep my freedom that is and not be involuntary imprisoned.

Great question! One that I have answered in my head a couple times. Several reasons. One, when you walk the line between life and death, the small stuff seems to matter less. Two, the people who come here know how hard life can be and have a very developed sense of sympathy and empathy. Three, when someone decides and accepts that they are going to kill themself, they have accepted their own mortality, which is an incredibly humbling experience, which usually leads to kind and accepting feelings. In short, the people here are the nicest people I've ever met on the internet because they have partially let go of the material world that makes people feel and do bad things and have gotten in touch with one of the most basic human emotions - empathy, that which binds us as a species and gives us the strength we've needed to survive throughout the ages.

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Being incredibly empathetic can be exhausting. I can't speak for everyone, but I think sometimes I get empathetic almost to my own detriment. It's incredibly difficult for me to hear family talk about shitty stuff that happens to them because hearing them upset hurts so goddamn much and I guess I just wish I was 50 feet tall and could solve all of their problems. Same goes for all ya'lls problems on here. It's hard giving a shit about other people when we're all crushed under a system that inherently does not care about other people and in fact is built to allow sociopaths to rule. I read some other folks saying that the world is built for assholes and while I don't disagree, but I like to think (and maybe this is just wishful thinking) that people are good deep down. It's just that hardship that life brings breeds resentment, combined with the inherent corruption that power breeds, as well as archaic tribalistic tendancies that were more beneficial for the human species before the modern era. Maybe someday humanity will overcome trials and tribulations and compassion will win the day, but I personally don't think that I'll live to see that day at this rate. I can only hope and pray for the children of the future.

 

[Tigeress Lost]

I Feel The Kindness Loving Trusting & Caring People Wish To ctb reasons being they are the ones who have been hurted the most cheated the most & sadly used the most
Hence life becomes a burden instead of pleasure and every morning you open your eyes & tbh you wish you didn't

I NEVER want a human life again if in a rebirth you can't make me a tiger than even a snake will do just please please never ever a human being again
My mother's scares me that if I ctb I will be a spirit for 7 rebirths
I don't care at least I will not be me anymore

 

[Living sucks]

My dad's a doctor, in charge of the anesthesiology department at a good sized hospital. A few weeks ago, he called me and asked me how to spell lawyer. He was butchering it so bad that spell check and google couldn't sort him out. His friend also got drunk once and told me how my dad almost killed a man under anesthesia because he went out to get a Snickers bar and got distracted and forgot what he was doing. He makes about $420,000 a year, and he's got connections with illegal businesses and untaxed income that his brother runs. The most delightful one is a nursing home where they commonly skimp on essentials, cut corners, and defraud their own patients/residents. He was just smart enough to cheat his way through med school and con his way into being a respected person in the community, but he's got no empathy and doesn't care or see what other people go through. He's happy as can be, just raking in cash and playing with expensive toys, his newest hobby is seeing how many jet skis he can collect, apparently. He's a total asshole and is able to hide that from the rest of the world, which loves him. He's ignorant of anything that doesn't make him happy and can easily ignore things which don't, like his son's rampant depression.

This was my role model growing up. And the hell of it is, I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad that I turned out the exact opposite.

You said your father and his brother committed suicide?