goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 832
Little rant and vent post i guess but also a story or sorts,so if anyone has been keeping up with me lately outside of all the venting posts i found a method that works…finally right?
It's just about having everyone fall into place my emotions,having people around,ensuring I won't be found then other things about the method i had to reconsider and add
I have the perfect method now,what annoys me is now i recently joined this community chat thing that actually makes me feel good in a way,like it doesn't change my life around or my deep rooted feelings of pain and suffering and wanting to die and everything but it definitely represses them,makes me forget about them for awhile even when they rarely piece through like i can feel them still their so yea
I just wish i could've joined this site sooner around late jan and February,i've talked about this before but perhaps i should eleborate
So technically i saw "that video" years ago when my suicidal tendencies weren't as active as they are now (because again i've had suicidal thoughts on and off for years this is far from the 1st time) but i never actually did any research thought "wow that was fucked" and went along with my day
Lets go back to late jan feb i joined reddit of the request of somebody to ask for advice for shit,i'll be honest i was looking for advice for how i could CTB shocker surprise didn't get much help,one day i decided to dig deeper for some suicide community on there i think i found one that referred to a SS (probably unofficial) reddit community obviously it was locked or shut down bare in mind whilst doing this I probably did have that video somewhat in the back of my head that such places existed but when i came here if you would've brought up that video i never would've connected the dots that this was the same place but low and behold i was here
I've spent months researching all of these stupid and ridiculous methods trying to find the "right" one to no avail the most ironic thing is i was trying to hang myself way before i joined here via a tree in the park just struggling climbing said tree and even getting the rope up there
But here we are 5 months later and now I've gone back to hanging (altho partial rather than full/traditional) but i just wish i would've considered partial back then or even tried to seek out this place sooner
I've even made a few decent friends here,one friend actually that is special to me *cough cough* @sadlyexisting Yes i just name dropped them but I've met plenty of other good people here that i still talk to varying degrees unfortunately i've met some really bad eggs too but that's to be expected
But yea again this community is nothing like how the video pretrays sure you have your pusher pro lifers scare mongers death kinksters and just regular harrasers and nasty people like any platform but overall it's a nice community with good people and i enjoy that
Again idk how long i'll be on this earth for I'm really hoping my days are numbered but when I genuinely try partial again (because it needs to be when everything is right) my goodbye tread will be on the download dw about that
So yea again i'm happy to have met you all and i hope to enjoy my last few days weeks (hopefully not this long) months talking with yall
I hope my vents don't annoy you as much ^^'
It's just about having everyone fall into place my emotions,having people around,ensuring I won't be found then other things about the method i had to reconsider and add
I have the perfect method now,what annoys me is now i recently joined this community chat thing that actually makes me feel good in a way,like it doesn't change my life around or my deep rooted feelings of pain and suffering and wanting to die and everything but it definitely represses them,makes me forget about them for awhile even when they rarely piece through like i can feel them still their so yea
I just wish i could've joined this site sooner around late jan and February,i've talked about this before but perhaps i should eleborate
So technically i saw "that video" years ago when my suicidal tendencies weren't as active as they are now (because again i've had suicidal thoughts on and off for years this is far from the 1st time) but i never actually did any research thought "wow that was fucked" and went along with my day
Lets go back to late jan feb i joined reddit of the request of somebody to ask for advice for shit,i'll be honest i was looking for advice for how i could CTB shocker surprise didn't get much help,one day i decided to dig deeper for some suicide community on there i think i found one that referred to a SS (probably unofficial) reddit community obviously it was locked or shut down bare in mind whilst doing this I probably did have that video somewhat in the back of my head that such places existed but when i came here if you would've brought up that video i never would've connected the dots that this was the same place but low and behold i was here
I've spent months researching all of these stupid and ridiculous methods trying to find the "right" one to no avail the most ironic thing is i was trying to hang myself way before i joined here via a tree in the park just struggling climbing said tree and even getting the rope up there
But here we are 5 months later and now I've gone back to hanging (altho partial rather than full/traditional) but i just wish i would've considered partial back then or even tried to seek out this place sooner
I've even made a few decent friends here,one friend actually that is special to me *cough cough* @sadlyexisting Yes i just name dropped them but I've met plenty of other good people here that i still talk to varying degrees unfortunately i've met some really bad eggs too but that's to be expected
But yea again this community is nothing like how the video pretrays sure you have your pusher pro lifers scare mongers death kinksters and just regular harrasers and nasty people like any platform but overall it's a nice community with good people and i enjoy that
Again idk how long i'll be on this earth for I'm really hoping my days are numbered but when I genuinely try partial again (because it needs to be when everything is right) my goodbye tread will be on the download dw about that
So yea again i'm happy to have met you all and i hope to enjoy my last few days weeks (hopefully not this long) months talking with yall
I hope my vents don't annoy you as much ^^'
