Why did you fail?

[Xerox]

Unfortunately, I failed to find the "sweet spot." Additionally, my deport beam was plenty strong, but it was at a weird angle. My rope was very thick, too. Suspension seems to happen all the time; it's just not that easy.

 

[Xerox]

It was partial suspension.

 

[Thewhowithin69]

My first od I was 13 and didn't have a clue but knew it all needed to end so I swallowed a whole bottle of asprins, then too soon I crawled into my twin Bros room so I could fall asleep near someone I loved. He woke up and found me and good old dad had ippecac and that was not a fun night!!
Next was 16 and od with amitryptaline, almost succeeded and was in coma for 4days...that one did some heart/muscle damage. I had several half hearted attempts during the next 10 years but was brain washed to believe that God did want me dead and had taken away my freewill/choice, so I was angry and still miserable but didn't think suicide would work.
I must insert here that I'm actually grateful those attempts didn't work....I never want to invalidate someone's pain but when your young, well there is just plenty of learning and info and help that can be tried. Sure I'm back to planning my death but I'm almost 50 years old and I had some damn good times in those years that I am so grateful for!!
I did try several other od's and a wrist slicing but really even with scripts it's just a really inconsistent way to go!! And it ruins your body, I'm suffering poor health in part to the many od's and meds I've injested over the years.
I went to nursing school and graduated in my 30's and was so proud I accomplished something when I had always believe I was nothing. I don't believe those same messages any longer....I had such potential and I'm truly sad I couldn't figure it out enough to be able to live this life well...but I'm also so exhausted I'm ok with not trying anymore.
I have a child and so now it's all about lessening the legacy a parental suicide leaves, that's where I'm at. My physical pain is bad enough that I feel pressured to get this all worked out but I have an inheritance that I don't have access for another 4 years and if I have to wait that long and them go to dignitas or whichever place will accept me then I will do that. But in the mean time I will be working with a lawyer to fight for my right for MAID here in Oregon, even tho I'm sure they will turn me down I want to at least try!
Sorry got carried away there....but I'm definitely a strong supporter of research and dependablity of method. I also support exhausting all methods of relief here in real world before ctb...even growing some mushrooms to see if that helps with the horrific depression! Lol and I was never one to try hallucinogens in my party years. But have heard some promising reports....
But the pain shrouds it all, it really controls every waking minute and even many of the sleeping ones...so I know I'm on my countdown and I'm ok with that, just gonna be sure this time!
Grateful for this forum and wish peace for us all....
Sorry for typos etc I'm on phone and my RA makes my fingers hurt and not work right and my eyes/brain fog not see mistakes, add in the Impulse control issues and you guys get a story for days....

 

[Ch92921]

ehm? Survival Instinct.

And I will overcome it!

 

[511115]

Only had a 2hr window. I was in residential treatment. Staff got suspicious about my super long shower.

Thing is, I almost succeeded in 2 hours!!!!

So now I know if I have a full night to myself (hotel), I should have success.

Tomorrow night is my night. Hopefully I won't be reporting back to this thread :)

 

[lost_soul83]

C

How much did you take? What was the OD like?

I tried to OD (not on amitriptyline) on pain pills and was in the ICU for six days. I failed because I messed up the date/time in one of those sending-emails-later websites.

So you were found before you died then? Would you have passed if no one had discovered you?

 

[9a91]

I have overdosed on 880mg of Oxycodone. It was ten times the dose I was used to before. But it didn't work I just woke up 14hrs later with massive hangover. I heard that one needs to combine opiates with alcohol for OD to work, so one gets asphyxiated by his own nausea or something. Next time I'll just do full suspend hanging while intoxicated to be sure. I think hanging will be more easy with opiates for the sedation and also respiratory and bloodflow effects.

 

[AhG]

Tried to play in traffic twice.
First time it was raining and it was dark, walked to the curb but my survival instincts kicked in.
Second time I tried it while drunk, because I thought I would have the courage that time and I did, but cops showed up and got me for public intox.
Currently trying to find other methods but this one always comes back to me.

 

[DoneBlonde]

4 overdoes.

Almost died the first time from amaptriline ended up in coma.

2 other ODs painkillers. Nothing happened.

Last one was mixture of benzos, sleeping meds and street drugs. Just slept for 4 days.

Absolute waste of time. ODs do not work.

From my experience ODs Don't work either. Couldn't agree more . I've tried the typical paracetamol route too many times, failed everytime except from nearly damaging my liver . Aspirin overdose hasnt worked twice for me both times I went over the lethal limit , 1st time I nearly ended up with renal failure and 2nd time just very low potassium. Yeah overdoses don't seem to work .

 

[Sickman75]

4 overdoes.

Almost died the first time from amaptriline ended up in coma.

2 other ODs painkillers. Nothing happened.

Last one was mixture of benzos, sleeping meds and street drugs. Just slept for 4 days.

Absolute waste of time. ODs do not work.

Depends what pills you have. There was a member here who almost died from morphine overdose. Your pills weren't strong enough.

 

[Ruffian]

I failed recently because I didn't let my tolerance for opiates and benzos go down enough for that combo to kill me.Despite the OD is not an effective way to go mythology on this site, I find myself shaking my head at the ill-informed attempts. A large enough dose of an opiate (make sure it's straight up opiate, no Vicodin, Lortab or anything with a fraction like 10/325 or 10/500 after the drug name.) The 2nd number is Acetaminophen and lord knows it's just more bullshit to swallow. Combine that with enough of any benzo and it should be lights out, playboy. You have to do your own research though, but read through the news reports of celebrities who OD, even if suicide is debated. They ALWAYS have more than one drug in their system, and heroin or a prescribed opioid gets the big headline because currently the US and I believe the UK are involved in a massive opiate hysteria. Which by the way probably brought some legitimate pain sufferers to this site from being taken off their meds overnight by the DEA bullying doctors. But they will 90% of the time the article will mention Xanax or Ambien (a benzodiazepine derivative chemically,) was in their system too. I could write a paper on how to OD effectively, it's actually hard not to if you use copious amounts of both of those substances. Especially with no tolerance. Now getting them is a whole other story - good luck with that. I live near one of the largest drug markets in the US, but the last thing I need is to get arrested.

 

[Moldova_3k]

OD on benedryl. Roughly 4800 mg of it. I ended up dreaming/hallucinating for roughly 24 hours. I know I did things. Apparently I called friends and family. I also imagined my family visiting me. It wasn't till end of the trip that some found me and took me to the hospital. I was stumbling around in a small town looking for a place to stay they said.

 

[Sixfeetunder]

My attempts were from when I was a teenager. They were also impulsive. But now I have the tools to succeed, such as making sure no one finds me in time and actually knowing some better methods.

 

[NoEasyWayOut]

I acted on impulse and didn't choose a high enough point to jump. FYI if this is your method, try over 10-12 stores at least

 

[ClarityOfWill]

Tried to jump from a multi story car park, fear got to me and caused me to switch. When I came round I was in another part of the city and lost, ended up having to get a taxi back home and drank myself into unconsciousness.

 

[Flowersarenice]

Why is it

1. Partial suspension hanging is a shit method
2. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing and I wasn't fully committed

a shit method?

 

[KatieW]

I acted on impulse and didn't choose a high enough point to jump. FYI if this is your method, try over 10-12 stores at least

Generally unless it's a really tall building, cliff or bridge jumping is bad idea due to injuries if unsuccessful.

Why not combine jumping with poison?

 

[John Smith]

Over 20 years ago, I failed at ODng a mass of pills I'd been hording. I recently failed at suspension hanging. I've been reading up on the great info here. However, I'm not at all mechanically minded, and the knowledge that I'm stuck here is too much to bear. I've been doing a lot of thinking about ethylene glycol. I'm hoping to find someone to bounce ideas off. ?

was it full or partial suspension hanging? why did you fail?

 

[KatieW]

Anyone failed with helium gas and exit bag?

 

[Faulisdead]

My suicide note. I railed a bunch of meth, took a bunch of otc drugs, and I think a ton of caffeine, with the plan of jumping off of a bridge. I left my 8 page note in the bathroom of a public park and then blacked out. I think I had about a fifth of whiskey as well. Well, anyway, I blacked out the woods. I remember waking up and hallucinating like crazy. After a while of walking through the woods and eventually spilling out into some industrial area, the cops found me walking along some sort of bridge and got me down.
But yeah, I guess I had mentioned the bridge method in my note, so people were scouting out local bridges.

 

[NoEasyWayOut]

Generally unless it's a really tall building, cliff or bridge jumping is bad idea due to injuries if unsuccessful.

Why not combine jumping with poison?

That's quite right, better plan everything thoroughly enough so you can minimize the chances of traumatic failure. Head first would be my piece of advice, and I know from experience your SI will make your body try and get a safer position even on free fall. Poisoning is usually slow enough to allow an eventual treatment in the hospital as soon as you're taken there. So you'd have to be sure to do it in a secluded area where you wouldn't be found or rescued I guess...

 

[Roberto]

I ingested 500mg of Valium and a lot of trazodone if I remember well and alcohol. I didn't prepare it well.
Now I prepared a amitryptiline cocktail and I have antiemetics and cimetidine to hasten the death.

 

[Redt2go]

Anyone failed with helium gas and exit bag?

It's so expensive

 

[KatieW]

That's quite right, better plan everything thoroughly enough so you can minimize the chances of traumatic failure. Head first would be my piece of advice, and I know from experience your SI will make your body try and get a safer position even on free fall. Poisoning is usually slow enough to allow an eventual treatment in the hospital as soon as you're taken there. So you'd have to be sure to do it in a secluded area where you wouldn't be found or rescued I guess...

By combo I mean jump off the bridge after swallowing some poison. This hastens death and minimizes chances of survival.

 

[KatieW]

It's so expensive

Really? Helium's manageable but currently inaccessible for me. There are videos on homemade bags.

 

[Redt2go]

Really? Helium's manageable but currently inaccessible for me. There are videos on homemade bags.

I think lately the inexpensive helium is 20% oxygen won't kill you

 

[usernameNotFound]

I ingested 500mg of Valium and a lot of trazodone if I remember well and alcohol. I didn't prepare it well.
Now I prepared a amitryptiline cocktail and I have antiemetics and cimetidine to hasten the death.

May I ask where you get the anti-emetics from? I had thought I needed a prescription for those and wasn't sure how to convince my doctor.

 

[KatieW]

Really? Helium's manageable but currently inaccessible for me. There are videos on homemade bags.

Homemade exit bag, sorry:

 

[Logic]

May I ask where you get the anti-emetics from? I had thought I needed a prescription for those and wasn't sure how to convince my doctor.

What? Just say you are stomach problems, constantly nauseous etc. Antinausea meds are generally not abused drugs.

 

[NoEasyWayOut]

My combo I mean jump off the bridge after swallowing some poison. This hastens death and minimizes chances of survival.

I got it, but in my view when your jump after taking poison mainly 3 things can happen: 1. you can die because of the impact (which would leave poison out of the equation), 2. you can survive the impact and be taken to the hospital (where you'd most probably get some treatment against the poisoning as well) or 3. you can survive the fall but not be taken to the hospital. Only in this last scenario poison would be a way to grant your death. Of course there's a bunch of other things that could happen, but I'd take these 3 as a reference. Your idea is not bad, just wanted to give some thoughts about this method