crazy_rainbow
tired of feeling invalidated
- Jul 27, 2023
- 10
why is everything so serious all of a sudden when you grow up?
why can't we go back to those moments that we were happy?
why is the solution to suicidal thoughts always a pill or weekly therapy with someone who doesn't even like their job? why isn't it just listening and giving the person what they want?
i miss the days when i could just hop on minecraft and explore. i miss the days when i didn't dread school so much that i wanted to throw up instead of going to it. i miss the days when i would be excited to come home and not afraid to face my parents.
i wish we could just go back to those happy moments, not down another damn prescription that you can't even pronounce the name of. i miss being repulsed and terrified of death itself rather than just the pain that comes before. i want to go back. i don't wanna grow up.
i don't think i would be suicidal anymore if i could just go back to before i had so many worries and fears, to when my biggest stress was if my friends had stayed home today. i don't wanna be grown up anymore. growing up any more is scary. i don't wanna cry anymore, i'm tired of all of this. i'm tired of this planet. i'm tired of worrying about my future and being aware of all the horrible things people will do for a quick buck.
i like to imagine that the afterlife is full of everything that makes you happy. whether that be nonexistence, friends, family, loneliness, games, whatever. it makes knowing i probably wont live very much longer more comforting. at least i'll finally be happy, back in the good old days forever.
sorry if this seems a bit everywhere, i just wanted to get some thoughts down here.
why can't we go back to those moments that we were happy?
why is the solution to suicidal thoughts always a pill or weekly therapy with someone who doesn't even like their job? why isn't it just listening and giving the person what they want?
i miss the days when i could just hop on minecraft and explore. i miss the days when i didn't dread school so much that i wanted to throw up instead of going to it. i miss the days when i would be excited to come home and not afraid to face my parents.
i wish we could just go back to those happy moments, not down another damn prescription that you can't even pronounce the name of. i miss being repulsed and terrified of death itself rather than just the pain that comes before. i want to go back. i don't wanna grow up.
i don't think i would be suicidal anymore if i could just go back to before i had so many worries and fears, to when my biggest stress was if my friends had stayed home today. i don't wanna be grown up anymore. growing up any more is scary. i don't wanna cry anymore, i'm tired of all of this. i'm tired of this planet. i'm tired of worrying about my future and being aware of all the horrible things people will do for a quick buck.
i like to imagine that the afterlife is full of everything that makes you happy. whether that be nonexistence, friends, family, loneliness, games, whatever. it makes knowing i probably wont live very much longer more comforting. at least i'll finally be happy, back in the good old days forever.
sorry if this seems a bit everywhere, i just wanted to get some thoughts down here.
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