Why did we have to get born? Consciousness is unrelenting.

[Poiter1987]

My life has been riddled with mental illness issues since 18. Consciousness is such a wild concept. We have no choice in it. It just happens and here we are thrust into a horrible world. With pain and anguish. Some people have it way worse then me to. I was born into a good family do to speak. Middle class Australia.

Yet still my life is completely fucked right now.

Now I have to ponder suicide and I really don't want to kill myself but nothing is going to get any easier for me.

I'm just so confused as to the point of existence. I find it so unfair that potentially even after we are dead there may be nothing else and never any explanation for our existence. And like others have mentioned on here what if Consciousness does continue? And what if it's not pleasant?

If hell is real. And Christianity is to be believed ill probably go to hell for being pansexual. Hardly fucking seems fair. Nothing about lofe is fucking fair.

Hell is a wild concept to. Torture for eternity for sins committed. And everyone put there has a differing opinion on what sin is in the first fucking place.

Heaven sounds nice to me. If it really is a place free from suffering. Bit again like others have said. What if your tormentors end up there. It's not really heaven is it.

What if I kill myself and thats a fucking sin?

All we have in this world is unending conciousness and pain associated with it. We don't get a save, we don't get a reload we get one chance. I fucked my chance up. I want to die and yet I am terrified of dieing.

 

[itsoverforme303]

My mother told me all her life that she regretted having me and that I ruined her life. She took it out on me with unbearable torture. I wish she aborted me. Damn you conservative country values.

 

[Poiter1987]

Imagine that. Giving birth to someone and telling them that. Humanity is fucked.

 

[itsoverforme303]

When I was 3 my mother picked me up and bashed me against a stone slab. I stopped breathing. I wish that was the end.
Years later she denied it and said it wasn't that serious. But I remember what I felt.
Years later she denied it and said it wasn't that serious. But I remember what I felt.
Years later she denied it and said it wasn't that serious. But I remember what I felt.
Sorry the UI glitches I didn't mean to post it multiple times.
Sorry the UI glitches I didn't mean to post it multiple times.
Sorry
When I was 4 she tried to strangle me with a tie. I wish she succeeded.
Same year she locked me in a room for 18 hours and then sent me to school with no food I was starving. I had to bed for food from my friends. Then she beat the shit out of me because someone from a respected family like me isn't supposed to bed for food.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I agree that consciousness/ self awareness is weird. It didn't just happen for us though. Our parents- for whatever reason decided to bring us here. Fully realising the risks we might encounter.

Maybe it would be different for the very first of our strain of species who first became this self aware. I do kind of pity them that it most probably evolved from something slightly less potent. However, we come from generations and generations of sentient, self aware and, thinking humans. We are alive and conscious because our parents decided to procreate. I doubt we could be if they hadn't.

I don't personally believe that consciousness in the sense that we tend to think of it- self awareness, memory retention, awareness of our surroundings, exists until we are born. Not even then in a way. I have very few memories or sense of awareness prior to being 3 years old.

I suppose it's a bit like if someone throws something heavy in the air and it lands on someone else's head. Should they blame gravity? No- gravity is simply a force. They should blame the idiot that threw it. Maybe they didn't intend it to hit the other person on the head but, they knew that what goes up, comes down. They may also know from experience that they don't throw or aim well so, throwing something heavy in the air with other people wandering around isn't wise.

Similarly, our parents knew what it was like to be conscious and sentient. They knew we'd go through difficult times as well as good. They knew we'd have to be successful in life in order to pay our way. They knew we'd likely witness their deaths and, experience our own eventually. But, they still thought it was a great idea to bring us here. Or, they were simply horny and careless I suppose. So- it's their direct fault or dubious intentions that exposed us to consciousness.

As a thing though, I personally imagine it simply evolved, just the same as other traits- walking on two legs, developing an opposing thumb. I expect that having a heightened sense of self, an awareness of our surroundings, an ability to retain detailed memories, an awareness of our own mortality beyond an instinct to avoid danger, helped us to become the dominant species on the planet.

In that sense, I don't see consciousness as being all that mysterious. If evolution via natural selection can produce animals as bizarre as the platypus, I don't really think consciousness is all that odd. It has clear advantages to be this self aware.

If it's like other traits, it developed through a series of 'mistakes' in the genetic code- generation to generation. Except, these slight alterations each time gave that creature an advantage over other creatures so, they were the ones to reproduce and pass that trait on.

Ironically, you could argue that we've either become so advanced now or possibly, our genetics have become so perverted that some of us are able to hold anti-natalist and suicidal beliefs. Which goes against our core drives.

That's a strange thing to think on. Is it beneficial to the species that some of us choose not to reproduce and, die young? How does that fit in terms of our evolution? I certainly can't see us going extinct because of it. Enough people still want to have children. Is it better then, that some of our genes die out?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as more than anything I just wish I never suffered in this torturous and futile existence at all, I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything rather all I hope for is to not exist. To me existence just feels like the most terrible tragic mistake that just causes harm and suffering and as long as I exist I'll only hope to be permanently unconscious, I just wish for this painful, dreadful existence to be all gone and forgotten about for me.