Venting WHY DID I HAVE TO SURVIVE THE NIGHT?

[Unattainable666]

Every night when I go to bed I go with the hope that I won't wake up. That I'll have a heart attack or something else will take me and I won't have to deal with all the shit of life. I used to be able to deal with all this shit, but now that I'm older I'm tired of putting up with waking up, getting dressed to go to a job that fucking sucks, being mistreated by other employees and the dumb ass attorney I work for, sitting in my car at lunch crying, drying my tears so it doesn't look as if I've been crying, trudging back home in the traffic, dealing with the dumb asses around me and the people in the office who are beyond stupid. I close the door and try to block out the world, the disgust I have for other people. I used to not be this way. I used to love my life until 1989. Now my life is nothing more than a shit show. Just a waiting game for something catastrophic to happen so I have no choice but to ctb. (job loss, my beloved cat dies). There is no one in my life who cares whether I live or die. No tears will be shed for my removal from this fucked world. It's as if I left no footprints, changed no one's life, helped no one, belonged to no one. Well, I guess this pity party of one is over now. Thanks for listening.

 

[Unknown21]

Unfortunately, we are designed to survive, no matter how much we want to die, we will still wake up every day. Life really sucks, I'm 21 years old and i feel like I've lived forever , so i feel u in this part.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish there's the option to just never wake again, it'd be so relieving and prevent so much suffering, I also just wish to fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep where all is finally forgotten about. But anyway best wishes.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

Unfortunately, we are designed to survive

what i fail to understand is that my brain is telling me that i no longer want to continue. brain controls all bodily functions right? so why doesn't it just shut down a few vital organs here and there?

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

Because sadly the body can't communicate with it's components in an intelligent way, only a basic hexadecimal or binary kinda way. Hence why the body can do itself physical harm without actually being suicidal.

i didn't think anyone would actually answer that but thank you.

 

[lixt]

Due to negentropy, we are suppose to survive. What you can do is increase the entropy variable until is surpasses the negentropy one, making you die. I want to assure that entropy is indeed painful, making suicide painful. This was a simple and casual overview of the topic, but I hope it helps answering your questions.

You can increase the entropy by a fast deceleration (jumping, for example), by ceasing the chemical reactions in the brain (overdose or shooting) or many other methods. We are mostly made out of negentropy (order and organization), so you are suppose to be scared, feel pain, and most likely fail (in case entropy isn't bigger than negentropy).

I recommend you to take initiative.
Good luck, tho.