Omg why are you literally me, I'm also a lazy neet with mental illness
I'm a shut-in who failed to launch after college :(
I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I also failed to launch after my education finished - it's been more than a year, yet after countless of job applications, nobody seems willing to give me a chance: and even if they did, I would probably last a few days, perhaps a month at least.
The pressure is mounting with each passing day, and my family, although well-meaning, pushes me towards depressing thoughts and suicidal ideation when they insist that I'm just lazy, and that I should do the same thing everyone else is capable of doing: but, oh, well, I'm just... Not capable? At all...?
I mean - I'm sure that the fact that the job market is a mess right now contributes to my failure to "launch myself into the world", as they say (I'd rather launch myself against a wall, tho. Seems more fun, and rewarding)... But the main contributor is my neurodivergence: I cannot adapt to the capitalistic hellscape of the modern world, and I cannot trick my brain into thinking "this is alright, just stay here for 8 hours a day, five days a week, for the next forty years, and collect that sweet money".
This whole game is horrendous: if it wasn't for my family, I'd be on the streets, probably dead by now. And even then, the support is temporary, the pressure is mounting, and the time is running out... I had a talk with some counselors from the government that my sister were in touch with - they claimed they could help me out of my neetdom: very nice people, but on the end, even they gave up after a single day of talking with me, as they didn't contact me ever again after the first talk.
If the absence of a good can kill you, it is not the individual's fault for not having access to that good, but the system's that do not provide that good if it doesn't produce any benefit. Our current capitalistic society is an alienating and self-serving mechanism that will eventually eat itself out - not without first taking all of us with it in the name of the interests of a few rich douchebags.
It's not your fault for being a neet and suffering from mental illnesses,
@ifeelthelight
I'm sure the are many things we could do to "improve ourselves", as many people would point out - but that can only do so much when the systems on our lives create dissatisfied people like us. Most of the advice in regards to employment and getting out of neetdom is rubbish, and they never take into account the neurodivergence and mental illness of the people.
Being a neet fuels my mental instability, but I also feel it's way better than pretending to be a functional living being when I'm actually anything but. If I had to work for the past year, I would have CTB already.
My family and relatives keep pushing for that "new version of me" to appear - the me that doesn't give up on the face of mental illnesses - one that doesn't have trouble focusing on the smallest of things, that doesn't instantly crumble to pressure, and doesn't suffer from constaint brain fog, among with an incapacity to understand and adapt to others: but that version wouldn't be an honest me. The true me is the one that sleeps all day and wokes up by night-time to play videogames, read and watch stuff online because everyone is sleeping by then and nobody can bother me.
I tried to improve myself through the years. Some things stuck with me, but most of the time I ended up frustrated and ashamed because I ended up at the starting point again after a while.
At the end of the day - the game of life is a big club, and people with mental illnesses and those who do not fit in the current system are not welcome in it. So, I'll just rot away, I suppose, but again, for a while, I'd like to enjoy my ramen in peace.
Thanks a lot for the post, and sorry for the lenghty reply. I just kind of started typing and got carried away.
If you ever need anything like venting over neetdom, for example, feel free to reach out ^^
