Why can't I exchange my life and position in this world with someone else

[martinso67]

I watched a documentary about refugees that are fleeing to Europe. This post is not about that stuff or politics. There was one guy who was from West Africa, who fled through Eastern Europe and hoped for a better life in Germany. He died crossing the dangerous river between Belarus and Poland.
I wish I could change my life and be born like him or someone else in that situation. He had a shitty life, but he did have hope that it will get better. He did also have an adventurous life (which I wish/I admire), which ended in him drowning in that river.

Why I wish that I was him instead and he could take my life in exchange, because I want to die and leave this human life. He does not want that. So everyone is happy.
Also that guy wants to be a normal (normie) working person, which will then marry or have a partnership and create a family. The average life what normal people dream of. Having a good paying job, family, children, own house, car. What is also called the "American Dream".

Me, I don't care about this normal or "American Dream" life. Either I can live like I want. By having a life of freedom (personal freedom, without hurting others freedoms), creativity, and innovation. I can't be how I want like on the internet. Move and create stuff like I want. No dependency on other people be it financially (needing a job or customers) or physically (I mean with that I need grocery stores, barbers, doctors, police).
For that guy from West Africa he would feel and be free and feel like he is living in paradise, by living this normal life.

In that documentary, they showed his mother crying a lot and being very sad about his death. She did want to persuade him to not cross that river and border between Belarus and Poland, but she failed doing that. I can sympathize with her loving life and thinking it's great being a human. And all the whole shabang that life comes with. Me I would have been happy dying like that. For me life as a human is a prison. That of course would not have been the case If I was a cookie cutter normie. Like my dream would be having some "dream job". " And I want to marry with a beautiful woman". "Have children and my own house", Bla bla bla typically normie life. No hate against people who are that. If you are like that, then you are actually better than me. Human life is cut and build for you and people like that.

But for me that is not the case. Having a different needs and a different view on life. I am not made for this life. Please can I exit it gracefully and peacefully. A pet owner can euthanize his pet by going to the veterinary clinic. The euthanasia is done peacefully by the vet. Me, as a human one has more "rights" than an animal. But still I am denied that, though I the only one who is wanting to euthanize myself and I will do it on my own. I need only the access to that medication, like the pets have. This will be done personally and alone. Away from other people.

Now, knowing that fact. Do you think I am more happy being a human. Or would that not be the opposite in this case????

Yeah, life for me as a human is super great. It's such a blessing and gift /s (sarcasm)

 

[Lys_C15H25N3O_d3]

i might be the first to type but wont be the last. Man, theres always someone wanting to switch places.. back when i cared, i wanted so much to get a immigrant job and pay the rent with tips while studying . documentaries always have that bit of psychological appeal, in my case, i watch documentaries where couples stayed toghether in misery poverty war, but here , "if you are depressed" then "you are toxic and eventually drags down your so-called significant other" (you re always ready and willing to support. to give a lending hand,. but instead the arm is pulled)
Sure, i would love to switch places with the simple humble gas station worker, he might have a limited knowledge of current issues in the world (who cares by the way ) limited knowledge about literature , history, philosophy languages blabla bla, but in the head of the day hes the one laughing at stupid jokes. enjoying his beer around his buddies, with women. or be that clockwork routine like person, with a caring and loving wife. always waiting you to come home. kids that have the privilege of greeting a father whereas you couldnt.. anyway. "the neighboors grass is always greener".. maybe we think it is but truly we dont know, most likely we idealize what we can't experience and think others are having a blast a good time, life is great,.. i am deeply sorry but i d switch places with someone in war (knowing true suffering and misery , hatred and violence,) - the things that normal routine don't have, and still we complain, of course theres always someone who loves being the smart person with the mighty knowledge of popular sayings . One thing for granted: there is always someone willing to switch sides with you, and the person who you might look up to, probably feels the same. No one is satisfied until we re truly deprived of everything *(not me trying to be smarty.. but personal experience spending 2 days on the street and one homeless crack fiend instead of robbing me blind, lend a dry cardboard (i wouldnt sleep if i wasnt so drunk, and i wouldnt be that drunk if wasnt feeling miserable, throwing in front of cars hoping to get hit instead all i heard was insults (DEFINITELY not right , risking other peoples lives) anyway. that guy who lent me a cardboard and saved me from being stabbed by an army of crack fiends holding screwdrivers and hand-made piercing "improvised tools" was happy cause he had stashed 90 bucks in his mattress and with that 90 bucks he would buy his daughter a gift... arriving there. there was no mattress. the city cleaners took it away... you know what the real problem is? turning into a superstitious person who "basically is thankful that its unfortunates are smaller than they could be.. nah this doesn't work for me. but seriously, if you re young , dont waste your life on impulsive decisions or feelings "in the heat of the moment"... life can be worse than a crappy scripted documentary with sad ending or happy message.... sorry if it didnt help,. i m sitting like someone in deathrow.,... waiting the unavoidable (would i like to switch places with someone waiting to receive top notch end of life drugs without spending a cent? ) no, i wouldnt, just the stuff though,... sorry for not being helpful

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so inhumane how a peaceful and permanent escape from this existence is a privledge only reserved for animals with humans just expected to suffer instead, I also see myself as not being meant for this cruel existence.

It's disgusting to deny people a right to cease existing in peace especially as none of us could have ever asked to be burdened with this existence where chance so cruelly determines everything, I'd personally always prefer to not exist regardless of the circumstances.