Fuck. I'm in so much pain every fucking day and no one can do anything. I know people care and I have no enemies, no one wants to see me suffer. But I can't get better. It keeps getting worse. I've tried so many psychiatrists and a bipolar diagnosis doesnt help. None of the mood stabilizers help, they just make me boring and normal in addition to depressed. Fuck. I wish I was never born. Why doesnt anyone tell you growing up how fucking bad it gets. I cant imagine another year of this, yet alone another 5 decades. And getting better is such a joke. Meds sometimes kind of help, but therapy is such BS. Every time I actually have an issue the "coping mechanisms" they taught me just fucking disintegrate. It's so demotivating. Fuck. I want to die so bad. I have SN, i hope not expired, im just afraid of the 20 minutes of bodily and mental terror/panic
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How old are you, if I may ask?
Am just curious.
And I am so very, very sorry.
What a strange world we live in, where lucky few of us will perceive life as a blessing (at least in the beginning), before it steadily begins to feel like a curse across the board.
Were you happy in your youth, if you're a little older?
Are you in physical pain, just mental, or both?
Feel free to message me if you wanna talk. Other than that, I'm really, really sorry.
Am just curious.
And I am so very, very sorry.
What a strange world we live in, where lucky few of us will perceive life as a blessing (at least in the beginning), before it steadily begins to feel like a curse across the board.
Were you happy in your youth, if you're a little older?
Are you in physical pain, just mental, or both?
Feel free to message me if you wanna talk. Other than that, I'm really, really sorry.
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,320
I know that it can be such a hopeless feeling when nothing helps. I'm sorry you have to go through this, I understand that it can be dreadful when you are suffering so much. I also wish I was never born. Existence itself is the cause of all of our problems after all. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
Mental pain, and I am in my early twenty's. I don't really remember my childhood, and I've been depressed/crazy since I was probably 11, but it got much worse around 18. Thank you
Crazy4u
Enlightened
- Sep 29, 2021
- 1,318
if the meds help as you said, maybe talk to your psychiatric about increasing the dose. I am sorry you are in so much pain
Hey I don't wish to intrude in your treatment but have you had comprehensive health testing in order to rule out possible physical causes of your mental distress?
The reason I ask as I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, after years of mental health issues and exhaustion. It is known to cause distress and suicidal thoughts, and makes a lot of sense in my case.
Even things as simple as vitamin/nutrient deficiencies can cause emotional anguish...
Of course when you go to your doctor and explain you're having issues, they'll more than likely send you down a rabbit hole of meds/counseling, when often times all that's needed is some bloodwork/other tests- identification of a possible physical causation.
Just my two cents anyway- I went for years in the wrong direction before discovering one of the major causes of my pain.
albino_elk
im infj with bpd=dysfunctional trash
- Aug 25, 2020
- 233
Therapy truly is BS. All I get is "happy talk" no matter how many therapists I've tried. All the "solutions" and "coping skills" seem so superfluous and weak. I completely understand the fear of 20 minutes of terror. I've had panic attacks all of my life, well over a half century and the idea of another one, or the next one is the major stumbling block for me CTB.
maybe english is not their native language. could be they were trying to say 'made me emotionally flat in affect and thought' but lacked the vernacular to do so. not everyone older than you is as articulate as you lmao.
Not 15 just drunk my bad.
I've tried and got a gene test. There seems to be something wrong with my digestive system but it's all to complicated to deal with.
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gottago222
paranoia bae
- Dec 21, 2021
- 275
i relate heavily to this post. for some of our circumstances or conditions, there is no treatment. i wish the desire to ctb was respected by most ppl
I wish I could afford N. With SN I'm terrified of the 30 minutes of nausea and panic before you pass out for sure. What if I call my mom and forever lock her with that memory? And what if the asphyxiation hurts while I'm unconcious?
Baemo
Member
- Jan 21, 2022
- 25
I feel you bro..my mental health has been getting worse as I got older. I always ask myself why do I have to keep going through this, as there is no treatment for my mental health and I am in so much pain.
Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck!
Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck!
