Why are there so many failed suicide attempts?

[Mecha Man]

I was just wondering about this, because, since landing on this forum, I read through many accounts of people who have tried to kill themselves two, three, four, or however many times; I gotta say, it's kinda discouraging.

I've only tried once, and I know why I failed. I failed because I was dumb and I have a very weak understanding of human anatomy (this was explained to me by my older brother afterwards). Basically I cut myself in all the wrong places. I don't really remember, but I'm guessing I didn't slit my wrists or my neck because I thought it'd be too painful.

*warning, slightly explicit*
Also, though, I started to experience unexpected fear when I saw blood squirting out of my arm. At that point, I just started thinking, "well I guess that's enough."
*end explicitness*

Then I made the ultimate mistake and started calling people to say goodbye. I started losing my ability to think rationally, and in my weakened mental state, my brother managed to convince me to tell him where I was so that he could "come and take care of me."

Naturally, they took me to the hospital and that was that. So that's my story. I feel like I learned that trying to kill yourself is scarier than you would expect. But is that really all there is too it? After that last time, I've been determined to make sure that my next suicide attempt will be a success! So I intend to be fully prepared.

So why do you guys think there are so many failed attempts?

 

[SunSetsForever]

Thanks for sharing, Mecha Man.

I think there are failures because it's a hard thing to do. We logically know death is better than life, but we're physically, chemically and emotionally hardwired to preserve our own life. That's why people who attempt, fail or succeed, are brave individuals.

Also, the lack of available reliable methods makes it a huge challenge to CTB. I sometimes feel I was born way to early, because I know humanity will eventually reach the same conclusion we on this forum have reached; that life sucks, and it's a basic human right to have humane suicide options available for anyone who desires them.

Taking control of our own life, whether it be by continuing to try with the hope of it getting better or by deciding to end it, takes a strong willed person. I have major respect for those who share their failure story because it helps guide other CTB Travellers, so they can reach their destinations with more success.

 

[spicyfriedtofu]

Impulsivity. The myth of being able to suicide on medication. Difficulty in setting up a place for hanging, exit bags or getting a hold of N or similar drugs.

I guess after a few attempt you either decide to live on or you come here to do research.

 

[Mecha Man]

Thanks for sharing, Mecha Man.

I think there are failures because it's a hard thing to do. We logically know death is better than life, but we're physically, chemically and emotionally hardwired to preserve our own life. That's why people who attempt, fail or succeed, are brave individuals.

Also, the lack of available reliable methods makes it a huge challenge to CTB. I sometimes feel I was born way to early, because I know humanity will eventually reach the same conclusion we on this forum have reached; that life sucks, and it's a basic human right to have humane suicide options available for anyone who desires them.

Taking control of our own life, whether it be by continuing to try with the hope of it getting better or by deciding to end it, takes a strong willed person. I have major respect for those who share their failure story because it helps guide other CTB Travellers, so they can reach their destinations with more success.

Well if you're going to give me so much credit I should probably add that in this particular case, since there's a chance I would have survived and gotten one or both of my arms amputated, it probably actually is a good thing that I made those phone calls and people came and saved me - _ - "

although I still could have died from something else. Just because it didn't seem relevant to my point, I neglected to mention that I also took some opiates and about 6 or 7 of some anti psychotic medication my psychiatrist had recently given me, the name of which escapes me. Those anti psychotics made me fall unconscious for awhile at the hospital, and they may well have killed me if the staff hadn't intervened. The effect those had was not what I expected, either... let me just tell you I was in a lotta pain for a little while : D

 

[Jon86]

1. Lack of research/planning
2. Failure to execute said plan

The reason people fail at lethal methods is normally because they back out before they attempt. ie. they put the gun in their mouth but don't pull the trigger; they walk across the bridge but don't jump; they choose to stand up from partial suspension hanging (aborted attempt).

All those three methods would be successful if the person executed what they had planned, they just can't overcome their will to live/fear of death/survival instincts etc.

 

[SunSetsForever]

Well if you're going to give me so much credit I should probably add that in this particular case, since there's a chance I would have survived and gotten one or both of my arms amputated, it probably actually is a good thing that I made those phone calls and people came and saved me - _ - "

although I still could have died from something else. Just because it didn't seem relevant to my point, I neglected to mention that I also took some opiates and about 6 or 7 of some anti psychotic medication my psychiatrist had recently given me, the name of which escapes me. Those anti psychotics made me fall unconscious for awhile at the hospital, and they may well have killed me if the staff hadn't intervened. The effect those had was not what I expected, either... let me just tell you I was in a lotta pain for a little while : D

Sounds like a rough time. But that's what I'm getting at, if only our society recognized suicide as a personal right. Nobody chose to be here, and we should have the choice to exit.

Maybe in the future they'll have a store we can all go to, pay a small fee, they inject you with a sleepy syringe, and you pass away peacefully. Or better yet, they sell you a pill and you can die in the comfort of your own bed at home. Would have saved you a lot of pain to be born in that world.

 

[Mecha Man]

Sounds like a rough time. But that's what I'm getting at, if only our society recognized suicide as a personal right. Nobody chose to be here, and we should have the choice to exit.

Maybe in the future they'll have a store we can all go to, pay a small fee, they inject you with a sleepy syringe, and you pass away peacefully. Or better yet, they sell you a pill and you can die in the comfort of your own bed at home. Would have saved you a lot of pain to be born in that world.

I couldn't agree with you more. Lethal injection on demand, please

 

[Dead_Inside]

I was just wondering about this, because, since landing on this forum, I read through many accounts of people who have tried to kill themselves two, three, four, or however many times; I gotta say, it's kinda discouraging.

I've only tried once, and I know why I failed. I failed because I was dumb and I have a very weak understanding of human anatomy (this was explained to me by my older brother afterwards). Basically I cut myself in all the wrong places. I don't really remember, but I'm guessing I didn't slit my wrists or my neck because I thought it'd be too painful.

*warning, slightly explicit*
Also, though, I started to experience unexpected fear when I saw blood squirting out of my arm. At that point, I just started thinking, "well I guess that's enough."
*end explicitness*

Then I made the ultimate mistake and started calling people to say goodbye. I started losing my ability to think rationally, and in my weakened mental state, my brother managed to convince me to tell him where I was so that he could "come and take care of me."

Naturally, they took me to the hospital and that was that. So that's my story. I feel like I learned that trying to kill yourself is scarier than you would expect. But is that really all there is too it? After that last time, I've been determined to make sure that my next suicide attempt will be a success! So I intend to be fully prepared.

So why do you guys think there are so many failed attempts?

Inability to share successful attempts is probably not helping all of us. I mean if I figured out how to successfully OD off of say only 10mg Oxys and a combo of easily available OTC meds .... you would never know ... I would take that with me. Even if I told you what I intended to do .... you won't know for sure if it worked, or I just got really hurt and couldn't come back, or just got locked up and couldn't come back to say.
Think that is why sharing exact details are very important for all of us ... helps each person avoid just doing the same mistakes over.

 

[Luke]

We are government property. They make it as difficult as possible to have more slaves to the grind.

 

[Jon86]

We are government property. They make it as difficult as possible to have more slaves to the grind.

Has it ever been easier? It seems we have more access to methods/knowledge on suicide now than ever before.

I understand wanting more accessible euthanasia but has it ever been readily available in history?

 

[Mecha Man]

Has it ever been easier? It seems we have more access to methods/knowledge on suicide now than ever before.

I understand wanting more accessible euthanasia but has it ever been readily available in history?

I dunno, in earlier times they had much less qualms about killing people, so it would probably be really easy to just take somebody's musket and blow your head off with it, or get yourself a guillotine and cut your head off or something like that (that last one's a bit scary though...)

I think the desire for suicide is probably higher nowadays because we live in a more complicated world. With the ability for literally anyone to share their ideas with the whole world, I think the world has become polluted with so many different convoluted ideas that nobody has the ability to comprehend anything anymore. Or maybe that all just applies to me...

 

[Life sucks]

There are many factors for that. Also it depends on the method.

There are many failed suicides because of lack of planning or good implementation. Regardless of what everyone says, there are endless ways to suicide and endless painless methods. Its the society, system or whatever that prevents this info from spreading.

Its like everything else, you need to increase efficiency of the method and do good planning and calculation to succeed. Failures are mostly because of inefficiency and no/little planning.

On the other hand, many people die suddenly or unexpectedly although unwanted, this is not a suicide but has the same result which is death. They did not plan or anything, life is a machine that kills us in certain circumstances whether we want it to die or not.


So to decrease failure I encourage everyone to research or experiment more. Researching is not limited to popular methods but even thinking about new ones, researching also about the human body and the unlimited ways for it to stop working, various sciences also like chemistry, biology can help.

 

[Fenrirsend]

Honestly cause it's so hard to get reliable info.

Stuff everyone thinks works doesn't. You have to do a ton of research to find actual methods that do n then your still guess since info online in sketchy n wrong.

Like last attempt I was told( over heard a Dr say) and I qoute "I don't care what the dosage was..any one takes 50 Ativan and downs a 5th their going to die.

I took a 120 n drank a 5th.

Woke up 3 days later with no memory of anything that happened since taking them
.n nope didn't throw up

 

[Threads]

If you believe science. You'll believe that you are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. That is what you are fighting against when you attempt to kill yourself.

And it's pretty hard to defeat.

 

[Smilla]

The elderly seem to be much more successful in their attempts with a ratio of 4:1 vs general ratio of 20:1 for success rate.

Research and plan. Data skewed also because of half ass attempts overdosing on commonly prescribed drugs or OTC crap.

Overdosing is incredibly risky in my opinion because the time to death can vary by hours, or even days. No way wouldni risk a prolonged coma via an overdose gone south. I'm not including Nembutal in this but most everything else, unless you have the perfect cocktail, is fraught with risks unless you can ensure non discovery for an ample period of time.

This is why I chose nitrogen. Second to that would be a gun. Hanging third.

None of this is easy.

 

[Tiburcio]

The lack of information and how society romantizes stupid ways making them look reliable. Also impulsiveness usually makes everything go wrong.

 

[Ssname]

Combination of a few things I think.

It is such a taboo subject that it is hard to discuss methods in a reliable way. When someone is about to complete it they can't pass on their knowledge.
A lot of attempts are made without much planning or knowledge and us humans have evolved to be pretty good as survival.
Also you only hear about the unsuccessful ones which probably reinforces it.

 

[Smilla]

Sorry I meant 4:1 to 1:20 for success for elderly vs general population

 

[Sadgirl19]

I'm 27 and have been suicidal since I was 6 or 7 years old. In 20 years, I planned and attempted suicide way over a few dozen times. About a dozen a year seems more accurate. I feel like, with that said, I'm either immortal, a coward, or a total moron.

From my perspective, ignorance has a lot to do with it. Kind of like you mentioned for yourself(you were unaware that the cut you made wouldn't kill you). We have hardly any other options besides trial and error.

This site exists because so many people are hellbent on keeping us ignorant. We aren't supposed to communicate with each other,know what works, or give support.
Instead, we suffer through our failures, whether just mentally or mentally and physically.
Idk. I wish society would realize that spamming the (unhelpful) suicide hotline and saying "I love you" and taking our means of communication away isn't going to change anything, just make us suffer more.

*kinda graphic: When I was a kid, I thought just holding a belt or something around my neck would kill me. At first, I thought I would die almost instantly, then I tried and realized it doesn't work that way and you will experience discomfort.
The pain and thought that I had no idea how long it would take or how to do it right kept me from trying it more often. This was in the 90s shortly before Google even existed and getting on the internet was something that held up the family phone line. I had no known ability to research methods.

Later, I considered jumping out my bedroom window. Luckily, I correctly assumed it wouldn't be high enough and I would just be injured, so I didn't bother.
I tried belts and other things like that quite a lot and would back out. About 3/4 of the time I would back out because the time it was taking enabled me to think, and I would think about my family. Even with all they put me through, I didn't want to cause anyone else pain or embarrassment.

When I got older, I tried alcohol poisoning. First time, I just passed out and hadn't even drank much. I stupidly thought it was a lot and i would die. I flirted with cutting.

In my early 20's, I tried binge drinking and pain killers. I also tried binge drinking in combo with Ambien, Ativan, Prazosin, taking a handful of anti depressants and so on, so many times I can't count. I'd wake up with the worst migraines imaginable but that was about it.
I just didn't know what could reliably kill me that wouldn't be a huge mess.
My step-dad had a shotgun, but I could never find it and again, didn't want to make a huge mess and I'm terrified of failing and just injuring myself.

Recently I've become more attached to the idea of hanging, but I've only almost succeeded once with a short hang. I had drank, but not enough to make me feel sick, just enough to stay calm. It was one of the only times I felt absolutely sure and good about what I was doing; other times I feel good because "I'm about to be free", but nervous and scared for others.

I started hearing a high pitched noise and seeing splotches of colored lights and felt at peace. Then I heard a car lock beep, assumed it was my SO and thought "shit, he's going to try to save me. I'll be alive but have brain damage by the time he breaks in here, and it's going to be traumatizing".

That sound caused me to no longer feel good about it, I had a thought of someone else in my mind then and didn't want to live as a vegetable. I released myself,quickly cleaned up, and just hopped in bed. It wasn't him. It took him 3 more hours to actually get home. I ended up not being able to move my arms for a few months after that.
I tried again, several times a week after that, but Idk how to get myself in the same mindset, I don't even remember how I had the rope positioned. I really thought I was going to die, but I haven't been able to replicate it and now I just end up struggling for long periods of time.

I tried actual hanging once and my SO did come home early unannounced and released me. I went to the psych unit at the local hospital for a week and my mom told everyone. She wasn't even supposed to know. It was awful.
I've since tried alcohol poisoning again, but I can't keep it down so it never works.

So, from my perspective, lack of what works, fear of making a mess or doing it wrong, and lack of privacy are major setbacks and have caused me to never get it right or do things that could cause instant death(like,head+train). Also, I think I could easily hang from a tree and snap my neck, but Idk where to do it that I won't be tracked to or found by a random do-gooder. That leaves me with my home as my only area that is sometimes private.

Last year I was going to try freezing myself. I had read a story of an old woman who had done that. Unfortunately I won't know if that'll actually work until if I can make it to winter again.

I also realize that biologically, we're programmed to want to live and I think that gets in the way. I recently realized that I've never really wanted to die, I just want my life to be better, but after 20 years of feeling this way and trying my best and continuing to be abused and injured by people, I don't think I have any hope left of trying to live so I keep trying to die.

 

[Mecha Man]

I'm 27 and have been suicidal since I was 6 or 7 years old. In 20 years, I planned and attempted suicide way over a few dozen times. About a dozen a year seems more accurate. I feel like, with that said, I'm either immortal, a coward, or a total moron.

From my perspective, ignorance has a lot to do with it. Kind of like you mentioned for yourself(you were unaware that the cut you made wouldn't kill you). We have hardly any other options besides trial and error.

This site exists because so many people are hellbent on keeping us ignorant. We aren't supposed to communicate with each other,know what works, or give support.
Instead, we suffer through our failures, whether just mentally or mentally and physically.
Idk. I wish society would realize that spamming the (unhelpful) suicide hotline and saying "I love you" and taking our means of communication away isn't going to change anything, just make us suffer more.

*kinda graphic: When I was a kid, I thought just holding a belt or something around my neck would kill me. At first, I thought I would die almost instantly, then I tried and realized it doesn't work that way and you will experience discomfort.
The pain and thought that I had no idea how long it would take or how to do it right kept me from trying it more often. This was in the 90s shortly before Google even existed and getting on the internet was something that held up the family phone line. I had no known ability to research methods.

Later, I considered jumping out my bedroom window. Luckily, I correctly assumed it wouldn't be high enough and I would just be injured, so I didn't bother.
I tried belts and other things like that quite a lot and would back out. About 3/4 of the time I would back out because the time it was taking enabled me to think, and I would think about my family. Even with all they put me through, I didn't want to cause anyone else pain or embarrassment.

When I got older, I tried alcohol poisoning. First time, I just passed out and hadn't even drank much. I stupidly thought it was a lot and i would die. I flirted with cutting.

In my early 20's, I tried binge drinking and pain killers. I also tried binge drinking in combo with Ambien, Ativan, Prazosin, taking a handful of anti depressants and so on, so many times I can't count. I'd wake up with the worst migraines imaginable but that was about it.
I just didn't know what could reliably kill me that wouldn't be a huge mess.
My step-dad had a shotgun, but I could never find it and again, didn't want to make a huge mess and I'm terrified of failing and just injuring myself.

Recently I've become more attached to the idea of hanging, but I've only almost succeeded once with a short hang. I had drank, but not enough to make me feel sick, just enough to stay calm. It was one of the only times I felt absolutely sure and good about what I was doing; other times I feel good because "I'm about to be free", but nervous and scared for others.

I started hearing a high pitched noise and seeing splotches of colored lights and felt at peace. Then I heard a car lock beep, assumed it was my SO and thought "shit, he's going to try to save me. I'll be alive but have brain damage by the time he breaks in here, and it's going to be traumatizing".

That sound caused me to no longer feel good about it, I had a thought of someone else in my mind then and didn't want to live as a vegetable. I released myself,quickly cleaned up, and just hopped in bed. It wasn't him. It took him 3 more hours to actually get home. I ended up not being able to move my arms for a few months after that.
I tried again, several times a week after that, but Idk how to get myself in the same mindset, I don't even remember how I had the rope positioned. I really thought I was going to die, but I haven't been able to replicate it and now I just end up struggling for long periods of time.

I tried actual hanging once and my SO did come home early unannounced and released me. I went to the psych unit at the local hospital for a week and my mom told everyone. She wasn't even supposed to know. It was awful.
I've since tried alcohol poisoning again, but I can't keep it down so it never works.

So, from my perspective, lack of what works, fear of making a mess or doing it wrong, and lack of privacy are major setbacks and have caused me to never get it right or do things that could cause instant death(like,head+train). Also, I think I could easily hang from a tree and snap my neck, but Idk where to do it that I won't be tracked to or found by a random do-gooder. That leaves me with my home as my only area that is sometimes private.

Last year I was going to try freezing myself. I had read a story of an old woman who had done that. Unfortunately I won't know if that'll actually work until if I can make it to winter again.

I also realize that biologically, we're programmed to want to live and I think that gets in the way. I recently realized that I've never really wanted to die, I just want my life to be better, but after 20 years of feeling this way and trying my best and continuing to be abused and injured by people, I don't think I have any hope left of trying to live so I keep trying to die.

Jesus christ, your life sounds like just about the worst shitstorm I've ever heard of. I feel bad for you. I really don't wanna suggest this ('cause I don't even wanna do it myself) but if you're SO desperate to die that you don't care about how unbearable the pain is, you could always drown yourself. Just wear a bunch of heavy cloths that will make you sink, go out in the middle of the night, use some kind of floater to get yourself a ways into the water so that once you drop you can't go back, and that's it... Be warned that this is said to be one of the worst ways to die.

Honestly though, if you've got access to a shotgun, that is by far the quickest, least painful, and most reliable method. All you've gotta do is point it in your mouth and aim it up at your brain, and bam, you're gone. I would do this if I could get my hands on one, but I would never be allowed to buy a gun with my medical history

 

[Mecha Man]

Oh, people keep talking about how there is a lack of information on reliable methods. There may be a lack of communication, but if you look, I think information isn't exactly scarce, particularly now with the internet. Just a few google searches will give you -some- useful information on the pros and cons of various suicide methods. My brother has a huge book (don't know what it's called, but I can probably find out if anyone wants to know) that is a comprehensive suicide method book, listing every possible way the author can think of, and all their pros and cons. There's probably more than one book like this, though.

Personally what I feel like I need are detailed instructions on a good method that's not too painful, like maybe hanging or asphyxiation, or carbon monoxide poisoning.

 

[Maeror]

I am inclined to think that it is because of our primitive self preservation, human body is an efficient machine that was evolved for survival and procreation.

 

[Vvcv]

Personality and gender plays a big factor. I have thought about killing myself for about 8 years, but if I think the method will have a decent chance of failure or if I have to suffer I will never attempt to kill myself that way, so that only leaves ODs with very specific meds because if "the damage is already done" I can actually deal with that psychologically (for about 15 minutes max).

I am glad I am rational about suicide, because trying to die just because you feel like dying is a big mistake. Suicide must be chosen after careful consideration and when all the alternatives are not reasonable. Why should you be in a rush to die? You can always die after everything in your life crumbles. I don't have any health issues and I think that's what it should be until the day you choose to die. At most, you could fail and try again if you prepare everything beforehand, but trying to kill yourself just because you feel depressed is absurd, I should have tried to kill myself hundreds of times with that logic. But I didn't, because to me that's kind of crazy.

Like Andrew Ryan says in Bioshock, in the 0:35.



"A season for all things, a time to live and a time to die, a time to build and a time to destroy."

 

[i187914]

If you're really serious about it, there are actually only a handful of potentially successful methods. I see a lot of discussions about methods that have no chance of succeeding and are not documented in PPEH. Don't get it either.

 

[IRIYAMA]

I was just wondering about this, because, since landing on this forum, I read through many accounts of people who have tried to kill themselves two, three, four, or however many times; I gotta say, it's kinda discouraging.

I've only tried once, and I know why I failed. I failed because I was dumb and I have a very weak understanding of human anatomy (this was explained to me by my older brother afterwards). Basically I cut myself in all the wrong places. I don't really remember, but I'm guessing I didn't slit my wrists or my neck because I thought it'd be too painful.

*warning, slightly explicit*
Also, though, I started to experience unexpected fear when I saw blood squirting out of my arm. At that point, I just started thinking, "well I guess that's enough."
*end explicitness*

Then I made the ultimate mistake and started calling people to say goodbye. I started losing my ability to think rationally, and in my weakened mental state, my brother managed to convince me to tell him where I was so that he could "come and take care of me."

Naturally, they took me to the hospital and that was that. So that's my story. I feel like I learned that trying to kill yourself is scarier than you would expect. But is that really all there is too it? After that last time, I've been determined to make sure that my next suicide attempt will be a success! So I intend to be fully prepared.

So why do you guys think there are so many failed attempts?

Think there are a couple of reasons for failed attempts.
The first I think is majority of people (this group excluded) are only situationally depressed and the attempts made by these people are not a true attempt and usually a sign of reaching for help.
Secondly, the serious people that fail, myself included, comes from a naivety of methods and only after meeting the right people online in CTB communities, then they learn how to follow tried and true methods for CTB

 

[Lara Francis]

The problem is letting other people interfere.If your going to ctb do it in private or during night time when people can't do their ethical, and self righteous savings your life performance.
Planning is key to truly suceed.

 

[DoneWithThis]

Sounds like a rough time. But that's what I'm getting at, if only our society recognized suicide as a personal right. Nobody chose to be here, and we should have the choice to exit.

Maybe in the future they'll have a store we can all go to, pay a small fee, they inject you with a sleepy syringe, and you pass away peacefully. Or better yet, they sell you a pill and you can die in the comfort of your own bed at home. Would have saved you a lot of pain to be born in that world.

Looking at the way the world is, it's not surprising to see why things are the way they are. Crazy and irrational. Seriously, I completely agree with you. You'd think the reasonable and logical thing would be that, to have to do what you want with your body, I mean, it's yours after all. It' s not like I as renting a car. And, no, I don't believe I'm renting this body from God. I've actually someone tell me that before, that's why I mention it. Having the right to choose, should be the norm. What a free world. it's so free that it's illegal to kill yourself. Is that really freedom? I don' t so.

 

[TAW122]

To sum things up, there are several major factors that result in failure in suicide attempts. First off, the bloody survival instinct that is ever present in ALL humans is something that kept our species, our kind alive for hundreds of thousands of years. Then, you have the impulsive attempts, or attempts that are made on the spot, without much planning and/or preparation, thus resulting in a higher likelihood of failure. Finally, you have those who choose methods that are less reliable, have a higher chance of failure (OD'ing on sleeping pills, or OTC drugs without studying the potencies and effects of such drugs).

 

[Conflicted Cat]

Not only because it's hard, but the one's that do succeed...? We rarely hear about them, because well, they're dead, they can't tell come back to tell us. Unless their family does or it ends up on the news in a way that we know that it's them.